do you have any coaches to help you out?
Your executive function is probably overloaded.
My Ds18 is in a top engineering school and is on max dosage of concerta. He has an academic coach and another ADHD coach he sees weekly. The school has been great for him but we had huge concerns as you can imagine.
The ADHD coach goes over his weeks plans and helps with planning, probably some prodding, and serves as a sounding board.
I honestly believe this is a lifetime requirement. He sees WAY more than most and therefore has too much to process. We routinely discard probably 50-80% of what you see and can not discard (my random estimate)
As you know many ADHD sufferers self medicate - I suppose it helps limit the input.
So I strongly urge you to seek weekly help to keep you in track and allow you to release some of the burden of trying to hold it all together. I don't think it's possible because you are attempting to hold way more than most.
As an aside, please realize that what you see is an illusion around you. People live the way they do and drive what they drive to create the appearance of being together. You will rarely find "true" people since you are around higher income people who value those appearances. I live in a similar area. People don't know what to make of us though - we have the means but not the values to "show" it - we're not poor but why would I drive a 17 year old sedan? It doesn't compute for this group (a: because I don't value wasting my capital on something to transport me 1 mile to the train)
So please try to turn off those "external wavelengths" that cause you to judge yourself and your relationship by other people's standards. It's not worth it.
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