me handling this way:
I solely pay for my kids from previous marriage and my personal bills, including vehicle, insurance, gas etc.
all common expenses, including vacations are split proportionally to incomes (40/60)
I don't receive child support because my kids' dad run away from the country to avoid CS.
So, at the end of the day I live paycheck to paycheck, husband has extra money for discretionary expenses, because I have more kids to provide and more taxes to pay (he is self-employed).
I feel like I live with room-mate w benefits or business partner.
Husband says all families live like this, I have to give up and just pay for my mistakes from the past.
I don't have friends with blended families to ask. My GF pays 50/50 with her husband (no kids from previous marriages) although he makes more money. She is unhappy and thinking of divorce. that's the only experience I see.
I have to say, I agree with @Hope1964
. Your husband is an ass.
He is saying, essentially, that your children are MISTAKES. Who DOES that?
He is ok with you, his wife, having to live paycheck to paycheck, struggling, while he has discretionary fun money. Who DOES that?
And he is telling you that all families live like this? That is a big, steaming pile of BS. No, all families do NOT live like this, and you've had enough examples here to show you that each family does what works best for them.
He didn't just marry you. He took on a family and became a stepfather to your kids, whose bio dad clearly bailed on them. But he is refusing to acknowledge that he has responsibilities for his FAMILY. His responsibilities to his WIFE.
You guys are supposed to be a TEAM. What's yours is his and what's his is yours. That's what marriage IS. But he's decided that he's out for himself, a team of one, and you and the kids are on your own.