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post #1 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 12:02 PM Thread Starter
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Blended family

Working ladies in blended families, how do you split your budget between you and husband?

Do you pay solely for your kids from previous marriage?

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post #2 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 02:45 PM
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Re: Blended family

I'm on the other side of that equation, my GF has a son from a previous marriage, the 3 of us live together. My children are grown but I still support my younger daughter to some extent.

We split everything such as vacations, food, utilities, so I'm essentially paying half of his day to day living expenses and that sort of thing.

Things he needs for himself (clothes, sporting equipment, hobbies, spending money, camp, extrcurricular activities, school lunch money, etc), that's on her. She gets some help from her almost broke exhusband who pays for his phone and some of the items he wants or needs. Sometimes I'll get him something he needs. Not often, but sometimes.

Hope this helps.
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post #3 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 03:30 PM
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post #4 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Blended family

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Originally Posted by browser View Post
I'm on the other side of that equation, my GF has a son from a previous marriage, the 3 of us live together. My children are grown but I still support my younger daughter to some extent.

We split everything such as vacations, food, utilities, so I'm essentially paying half of his day to day living expenses and that sort of thing.

Things he needs for himself (clothes, sporting equipment, hobbies, spending money, camp, extrcurricular activities, school lunch money, etc), that's on her. She gets some help from her almost broke exhusband who pays for his phone and some of the items he wants or needs. Sometimes I'll get him something he needs. Not often, but sometimes.

Hope this helps.
yes, thank you it was helpful
is your income pretty much equal as your GF's?
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post #5 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Blended family

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Yep.
answer "Yep to question "How" is cute but not informative
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post #6 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 12:48 PM
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Re: Blended family

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is your income pretty much equal as your GF's?
I make about 3x as much as she does.

Which she reminds me of on a regular basis.

When we first met, and the three of us would go out to dinner, she'd always offer to pay, almost insist on it, because she was "careful" not to allow me to spend money on her son.

Nowadays she has no problem with me paying because "we're family".

Not sure quite when that happened.
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post #7 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:01 PM
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Re: Blended family

When you're married, it's all your money. Who cares where it goes, as long as it's not reckless and both spouses are bringing in income.

I make 3x what my fiance makes and work many more hours. But she does way more around the house, such as laundry, cleaning, meals, etc.
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post #8 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:01 PM
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Re: Blended family

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Originally Posted by browser View Post
I make about 3x as much as she does.

Which she reminds me of on a regular basis.

When we first met, and the three of us would go out to dinner, she'd always offer to pay, almost insist on it, because she was "careful" not to allow me to spend money on her son.

Nowadays she has no problem with me paying because "we're family".

Not sure quite when that happened.
Maybe when you moved in together? 😂 That is pretty much how it happened with my sister's kids when she and my brother-in-law married. Her ex would pay for a few things, but figured that his financial obligation ended at the children's benefits my sister received on their behalf, because he is disabled. My sister's second husband has no problem making sure her kids' needs are met. In fact, when my niece bought her first car a few weeks ago, when she turned 16, her stepdad helped her, as well as my sister, pay for it... AND he did/does the routine maintenance on the vehicles. That is something her father has never done.

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post #9 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:02 PM
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Re: Blended family

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Originally Posted by BeautyBeast View Post
answer "Yep to question "How" is cute but not informative
Your second question was a yes/no question. I think that's what @Hope1964 was answering.

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post #10 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 01:36 PM
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Re: Blended family

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When you're married, it's all your money. Who cares where it goes, as long as it's not reckless and both spouses are bringing in income.

I make 3x what my fiance makes and work many more hours. But she does way more around the house, such as laundry, cleaning, meals, etc.
It matters @GuyInColorado, because most subsequent marriages, such as yours fail a whopping 67% of the time, and when that happens, you don't want to be giving half of your lifelong assets to your soon-to-be-exwife along with spousal support that is typically ordered in cases such as yours where you make significantly more than she does.

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post #11 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 02:16 PM
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Re: Blended family

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It matters @GuyInColorado, because most subsequent marriages, such as yours fail a whopping 67% of the time, and when that happens, you don't want to be giving half of your lifelong assets to your soon-to-be-exwife along with spousal support that is typically ordered in cases such as yours where you make significantly more than she does.
This is an unfortunate reality that people need to consider when re-marrying, especially when blending families--second marriages where kids/blending families are involved have a much higher rate of failure than second marriages where there are no kids in the picture.

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post #12 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 04:29 PM
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Re: Blended family

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Your second question was a yes/no question. I think that's what @Hope1964 was answering.
Yes, thanks, I was answering yep to the second question. I paid for pretty much everything for my kids as they grew up. I used to earn more than him, although when we met I was on welfare. Incidentally, him paying for his own stuff (groceries mostly) before we moved in together was actually part of what got me kicked off welfare.
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post #13 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 04:31 PM
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Re: Blended family

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Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
Yes, thanks, I was answering yep to the second question. I paid for pretty much everything for my kids as they grew up. I used to earn more than him, although when we met I was on welfare. Incidentally, him paying for his own stuff (groceries mostly) before we moved in together was actually part of what got me kicked off welfare.
How did that impact you, since you weren't married or living together? Just curious, I don't know much about how that stuff works.

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post #14 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: Blended family

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Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
How did that impact you, since you weren't married or living together? Just curious, I don't know much about how that stuff works.

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How did what impact me - being on welfare? Or paying for everything? Or getting kicked off welfare?
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post #15 of 39 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 04:34 PM
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Re: Blended family

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How did what impact me - being on welfare? Or paying for everything? Or getting kicked off welfare?
Sorry, should have been more specific! How did it get you kicked off welfare?

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