Come on guys. What's going on with you? At first I thought it was just my situation but the more threads I read on TAM, the more I'm realizing that there are so many men whom are comfortable allowing their wives to take care of the household while they do the bear minimum to make the marriage work. There are so many men who don't work at all or are working but hardly contributing financially (and in most cases by choice). Also, I've encountered many situations where not only doesn't the husband hardly pay any bills, but he also doesn't lift a finger around the house to make up for his lack in financial support.
I think someone else may have mentioned this. But TAM is a special interest group, so it's not necessarily indicative of what goes on in the more general world.
For instance, I've also seen quite a number of posts from men who have wives who are SAHM who have no compunction about doing little to keep the house up and organized while they are home.
What is becoming of our men today? Why are more and more men accepting their wives to be breadwinner and home maker while they sit and reap the benefits? Why does it seem as if many men no longer have pride or back bone? I remember when a man refused to accept money from his wife because he was short. He would work 2 jobs before he had his wife taking over his role in the household. Nowadays, it seems as if more men are content with being "slave masters." They sit on their tails and give out orders while their wives does it all. AND to top it off, have an audacity to complain about his "lacking" sex life when she's too resentful and or tired to give out.
I guess I am not sure whether there is actually 'more and more' men acting like this or not. I'm not sure how we can tell that or not, or if it's just conjecture and anecdote.
For instance, over the holidays I did a bunch of reading on American pioneers. One of the books I read was called "Pioneer Women...The Lives of Women on the Frontier". In the section on marriage and divorce, there was a lot of discussion on 'idle' husbands and the difficulties women had in obtaining a divorce.
One husband wrote to his wife the following, and then wondered why she wanted to leave: "I want someone to get me a good supper and let me take my ease and when I am very tired in the morning I want someone to get up and get breakfast and let me lay in bed and take my rest. More than all I want my wife where I can have her company and to cheer me up when the blue devils chain me down
After reading some of those books on what pioneer women went through, it made me think that there's always been and is always going to be an element, man or woman, that are slothful, lazy, inconsiderate, and idle.
Whether we have more idle men now or not, I don't know. I think, in general, that our society, both men and women, are more flighty, more apathetic about really working hard for things, and feel more entitled to have things given to them without putting in the work.
I do know that we can all try our best in raising our sons to the best of our abilities to be strong, productive, and considerate. I do know that we can try our best in being appreciative and helpful of our husbands so that they can also be strong, productive, and considerate.