Today I am doing ok with things. It's a work in progress. At least I'm getting therapy for it. And yea, when the kiddo wakes up from her nap, we're going to the park!
Sex has never been an issues with us. lol It's awesome in itself.
Last night I had his fave drink ready when he got home...rum and coke. He was a happy man.
Yup. I DO thank my lucky stars that my husband isn't like that. Not even close but then again, I have high standards as does he.
I don't see anything wrong with having high standards. I am frankly shocked when I read that women should lower theirs in an effort to find a partner. Why? Why lower something that is integral to who you are? Will that bring happiness? Is settling ever a good option? No. I read some of the stories here from women who say "I never really loved him" or "He was a kind man" and low and behold years later they are cheating, planning an exit or resenting the heck out of him.
Having high standards/expectations to me is a good thing. Having said that, you better be prepared to uphold their standards as well. It goes both ways.
Yup. I DO thank my lucky stars that my husband isn't like that. Not even close but then again, I have high standards as does he.
I don't see anything wrong with having high standards. I am frankly shocked when I read that women should lower theirs in an effort to find a partner. Why? Why lower something that is integral to who you are? Will that bring happiness? Is settling ever a good option? No. I read some of the stories here from women who say "I never really loved him" or "He was a kind man" and low and behold years later they are cheating, planning an exit or resenting the heck out of him.
Having high standards/expectations to me is a good thing. Having said that, you better be prepared to uphold their standards as well. It goes both ways.
Kindness wasn't really on my list
Responsible, honest, respectful, free-thinker, educated, edgy, knows what he wants, treats people the way he wants to be treated, and can crack my ass in bed After being with so many sissies in bed, I wanted someone who could rock my world. Passion brought us together (through the arts, history, and sex) and love is keeping us together.
Which leads me to this random thought: when I was in third grade I still remember reading out loud the words "Then they would do it" in social studies (it had nothing to do with actual sex of course) and laughing hysterically and then the class started laughing and then the teacher sent in the Principal to ask what was so funny. Seriously, it wasn't obvious what was so funny, did they really need me to say it?!
Ha ha!
Don't know why but for me the term "tickling the ivories" always sounded sexual to me. I burst out laughing when I was around 12 and my piano teacher said that. He couldn't understand what I was laughing about. God was he mad. It sounded too much like "tickling the ovaries" and yeah THAT sounds sexual.
Haha, I was just about to post something similar... but was also going to emphasize how the tone of the thread has seemingly morphed into something more refreshing to read.
Haha, I was just about to post something similar... but was also going to emphasize how the tone of the thread has seemingly morphed into something more refreshing to read.
Indeed. The title was pretty offensive. The responses even more so. I think men haven't stopped being men at all. Thankfully not the ones I know at least.
I just laughed when someone said women have too high of expectations for men.
I have high expectations for anyone in my life, same as they do for me. If you set the bar, people will reach it. I'm not saying be a total betch about it, but be firm in what you want and need and lead by example.
To my co-workers' to high expectations means the following:
1. Expecting them to participate with child care, child arrangements if you're both working (my husband resisted this at first but has completely come around)
2. Having them treat you like they are deeply in love with you by doing things that show they think about you. (Co-workers constantly tell me I don't appreciate all the romantic and otherwise things my husband does for me such as purchase a new chair for me at work and surprise me with it after I complained my butt hurt or when he showed up at work with the invitations he designed and printed for free for the organization)
3. Lovey Dovey and not afraid to show it. (Co-workers were floored when my husband called and asked that we meet for a cell phone lunch which we scheduled and enjoyed together, not to mention all the "I love you mores..." which have them rolling their eyes but make me giggle)
4. THE BIGGEST ONE FOR ME is expecting him to be home when he says he's going to be. (This is apparently unreasonable to them and I should get over it and be glad he's in love with me and not cheating on me...what?! what?!)
Those are incredibly high expectations. Guess what? When you assert that you expect these standards to be met, your man will meet them. A lot of people get hurt just because they will not demand that people treat them the way they need to be treated.
Takes a certain amount of confidence to do what you do. And now you get the rewards for expecting that your hubs will treat you well.
I think that for most couples, the loss of the husband's job is a major stressor for both, much more so than when the wife looses her job.
A wife supporting her husband after he has lost his job, is more likely to be resentful because even in today's 'enlightened' times, it is the man who is still expected to be the major income provider. Simply put, a husband without a job is not attractive to a wife.
SAHD have a long ways to go before they even get a quarter of the respect that SAHM receive.
Many couples today have the agreement that both spouses will work. When one of the spouses stops working without mutal agreement it's not acceptable.
I have known men who get very upset when their wives make that choice without mutal agreement.
I also have known quite a few women to work because they can earn more than their husbands and the husband stays home with kids... out of mutual agreement.
This thread is not about SAHD's in which the couple decides that the husband will stay home to take care of the children. This thread is about men who unilaterally decide to not bring in an income.
Why it has turned into an anti-female thread I have no idea.
Many couples today have the agreement that both spouses will work. When one of the spouses stops working without mutal agreement it's not acceptable.
I have known men who get very upset when their wives make that choice without mutal agreement.
I also have known quite a few women to work because they can earn more than their husbands and the husband stays home with kids... out of mutual agreement.
Sadly that is more anecdotal than empirical. The reality is that western societies still place a heavy burden on men to be breadwinners. That's why you have many men who are workaholics.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl
Why it has turned into an anti-female thread I have no idea.
Anti-feminist does not equate into anti-female anymore than saying that being anti-conservative is being anti-american or anti-liberal is being a racist.
The fact is that many men find themselves in the same situation with their wives that the OP finds herself in with her husband.
1Likes
Re: When did men stop being men??? 
After being with so many sissies in bed, I wanted someone who could rock my world. Passion brought us together (through the arts, history, and sex) and love is keeping us together.
Major Unilateral decisions like that have consequences for both people. It just breed all kinds of mistrust.
