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When did men stop being men???

46K views 574 replies 72 participants last post by  nice777guy 
#1 ·
Come on guys. What's going on with you? At first I thought it was just my situation but the more threads I read on TAM, the more I'm realizing that there are so many men whom are comfortable allowing their wives to take care of the household while they do the bear minimum to make the marriage work. There are so many men who don't work at all or are working but hardly contributing financially (and in most cases by choice). Also, I've encountered many situations where not only doesn't the husband hardly pay any bills, but he also doesn't lift a finger around the house to make up for his lack in financial support.

What is becoming of our men today? Why are more and more men accepting their wives to be breadwinner and home maker while they sit and reap the benefits? Why does it seem as if many men no longer have pride or back bone? I remember when a man refused to accept money from his wife because he was short. He would work 2 jobs before he had his wife taking over his role in the household. Nowadays, it seems as if more men are content with being "slave masters." They sit on their tails and give out orders while their wives does it all. AND to top it off, have an audacity to complain about his "lacking" sex life when she's too resentful and or tired to give out.

And this gets me too. I hear so many of you claiming that your wives won't allow you to be a "man." First of all, no one can allow you to be a man (let's just get that straight). Does she block your manhood by removing your scr0t0ms and play baseball with them using your peni$ as a bat??? Just asking…Lol.

Why has your decision making capability manifested insecurities in your wives? I'm sick of guys thinking that they deserve a promotion just for the sake of being a man. NOOOO. It doesn't work that way. Husband or not, you must earn your position (PERIOD). You have to show that you will make great choices for the greater good of the family and lead the pack successfully before you get to stamp everything in ink. You must confirm that when the going gets tough, you get tougher and will successfully guide the family through the toughtest of storms. You don't just get to make all the final decisions just because you’re the husband.

I hear the same thing from my husband. He claims I don't "allow" him to be a man. I make all of the money, he hasn't done absolutely anything to try to bring in more income on his behalf to support the family, every final decision he makes seems to only benefit him, yet I'm suppose to sit there and knowingly get burned by allowing him to make a decision that I won't benefit from at all just because he's my husband. Ok, believe that if you want to.

Seriously, what's going on guys???? Is it the food you're eating or what????
 
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#340 ·
SimplyAmorous, we were very poor as youngsters. I had this rickety and rusty old bike but determined to go out on it. An open topped car went by and a lad shouted out from the back “Get off and milk it!”. His dad stopped the car and waited for me to catch up. Then he said to his son “Now tell him again what you said”.

I thought that a fabulous lesson for a father to teach a son.
 
#342 ·
AFEH, that's a good one. When I was quite small (I don't even remember how old), I accompanied my mother to the grocery store and grabbed a little pink rubber ball and stuck it in my pocket unnoticed. At home, my mom noticed the ball, realized where it came from, and took me right back to the store to return it and apologize to the store manager. I remember the shame and embarrassment, and it was GREAT lesson. How many parents would avoid that scene out of the misplaced fear of 'damaging' their little one's self-esteem?

Self-esteem comes from living up to high standards.
 
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#353 · (Edited)
The company had temperature specifications around 20 degrees below boiling, where home coffee usually is around 130F. She suffered third degree burns on 16% of her body including genitals requiring skin grafts. This incident occured after.multiple incidents of burns from the company. She ended up with a bit over half a million mostly in punitive damages due to the companies continued negligence.

This society may be overly litigous, this incident was absolutely not the case.
Just because multiple people do a dumb thing doesn't mean that it should become the standard. That's least common denominator thinking. Yeah, my grandparents drank tepid, 130 degree Sanka, but should they dictate how everyone else drinks their coffee? Traditionally, you boil water and pour it in the mug. It starts at 212F and cools down to the point where you are comfortable drinking it. Why isn't that the expectation of what coffee should be? Why do we have to idiot proof everything? It's not a product that's actually defective, like a coffee cup that splits open and dumps the scalding liquid in your lap.

How about if I sue Henckels because its knives are too sharp? I was used to my dull el-cheapo knives and when I was drying the new Henckels (always hand wash nice knives) I sliced a bit of my fingertip off. True story. The world can be a dangerous place if you don't have your wits about you.

Reminds me of when I used to referee youth soccer. One parent complained that I didn't call fouls enough. I said, "What plays are you talking about?" She said, "All the times my son fell down." I said, "It's a foul when they are intentionally tripped or pushed down. They might also trip over their own feet, the feet of someone who reached the ball first, or the ball. Just because someone falls doesn't mean that someone has committed a foul. It's soccer, falling down is part of the game." Lawyers believe that any adverse outcome should be pinned on someone else if possible.

By the way, Keurig brewers are set to brew at 192F. You can adjust 5 degrees down from that.
 
#345 ·
If you guys are talking about Liebeck vs McDonalds, I will chime in (because after using a simple tool such as google and wikipedia realized public perception of the case has long ago taken its own course that diverge from the facts of the incident).

I really hate it when people refer to it as a frivolous case, or accuse her lawyers of being ambulance chasers.

Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
#354 ·
Note that the UK court reached the opposite conclusion:

"Thus, if McDonald’s were going to avoid the risk of injury by a deep thickness burn they would have had to have served tea and coffee at between 55 C and 60 C. But tea ought to be brewed with boiling water if it is to give its best flavour and coffee ought to be brewed at between 85 C and 95 C. Further, people generally like to allow a hot drink to cool to the temperature they prefer. Accordingly, I have no doubt that tea and coffee served at between 55 C and 60 C would not have been acceptable to McDonald's customers. Indeed, on the evidence, I find that the public want to be able to buy tea and coffee served hot, that is to say at a temperature of at least 65 C, even though they know (as I think they must be taken to do for the purposes of answering issues (1) and (2)) that there is a risk of a scalding injury if the drink is spilled."[16]"

The UK court got it right.

Also, Judge Frank Easterbrook wrote a unanimous US 7th Circuit Court of Appeals opinion affirming dismissal of a similar lawsuit against coffeemaker manufacturer Bunn-O-Matic. The opinion noted that hot coffee (179 °F (82 °C) in this case) is not "unreasonably dangerous."
 
#346 ·
Oh these kids today, with their baggy pants and their hippity-hop music ....

You guys realize, of course, that everything you're complaining about here is pretty much the same crap your parents said about you and your generation 30-40 years ago. What with your long hair, your free love, your Beatles and Stones.

Every generation seems to think the next generation (or one after that) will be the ruination of civilization.

You may now return to yelling at those kids for running across your lawn.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#356 ·
Yep, men aren't men any more.

Who replaced that vacuum spot?

Probably women in pant suits telling men they ain't men any more.

And vibrators, the new woman's bff. Dang if they could just make vibrators hold a job, take care of kids, and do the household chores....

Maybe in the next generation women will have it all figured out. Until then then they will just b!tch about men not being manly enough in between boob jobs, lipo suction, lip enhancement, and facelifts. Of course those are done to meet the horrible male standards of being beautiful, not the womans own vanity.
 
#359 ·
Anyone here besides me ever sue a doctor? It's pretty hard to do. If you think cops have a blue wall of silence, doctors are worse. And my wife is a non practicing pit bull arm breaker of a lawyer who once caused a traffic accident and then proceeded to browbeat the cop WHO SAW IT HAPPEN into charging the other person with the accident. Suing a doctor is extremely tough, we've tried it and were only partially successful.
 
#367 ·
Well, since the thread is totally lost, I'll say that my parents tried to sue a doctor on my behalf, when I was twelve. Went in to the hosital for appendicitis. Went home a few days later and things got dicey. My appendix had already ruptured (can you say massive abdominal infection?). Lost consciousness while my mom was working, and stayed so for almost a month. Oddly, I remembered waking briefly while a nurse was bringing a cake into the room for the nations's bicentennial (for the parents), then another time when it was storming, and my grandmother had brought in an elder from her people. I woke briefly as he was chanting (a native american healing call). With lightening flashing, and the old man in traditional dress, I was sure that I had already passed on. My parents said that I was in a coma due to stopping breathing when I first got sick, so they didn't believe me when I said that I had awoken twice. When my parents tried to sue, they found out that the doctor was dying of cancer. He passed before the first hearing. Oddly, I also got hepatitis in that backwoods hospital.
 
#362 ·
Weird thing about climate predictions, they change just as the world does, but quicker. Back in the 1970's many scientists thought the world was heading for another ice age. Now they say we will melt.

Good thing they weren't around when the continents were splitting up and the dinos died. Yes, there are things humans do to adversely affect the enviroment. Other than a new power source the only way is to reduce the number of humans on the Earth.

OK, now I took this thread off to another tangent, let's get back on topic....

...Men aren't acting manly anymore
Why aren't we men?
Last time I checked I still have man equipment
So the question must concern or actions.

How are men supposed to act?
Sometimes I get confused, then I think of grandpa...and it's clear again.
 
#365 ·
I think men and women have complained about each other since the dawn of time. In my mind it is a Ying Yang thing

Men are still men and women are still women. Societies defination changes of the role genders play, or should play, andthe Ying Yang ball keeps rolling along.

Trentons idea of scales makes sence in this. when relations get top heavy {good boob job joke here but ain't gong there), things flip over and correct themselves.

SAHM and SAHD are often devaluated in our society, but a good nanny is a find. Just my observation
 
#366 ·
I cannot say why. This list of complaints does not apply to anyone in my family (large) or my friends (many). So I have no basis to comment.

I've only known one guy who was content to let his wife support the family (ex in-law), but even he was smart enough to be passive and not try to call all the shots.

I dunno if you are extrapolating to men in general based on your husband in particular. My ex-wife was a complete a-hole who mostly tried to manipulate and bait-and-switch me, so I know it's easy to fall into that pattern of thinking. But, it's not healthy and thinking like that will impact how you view and deal with everyone around you.
 
#369 ·
Sometimes there are spin offs on other threads. I'm surprised no one has started a thread about "When did women stop being women." And before someone asks, No I will not be that thread starter. I'm simply saying, I'm surprised someone else hasn't.
 
#373 ·
That's why all OBGYNs now classify themselves as practitioners in "High Risk Pregnancies". It brings the insurance costs down to between 7-17% of billables. On the whole though there's no dearth of OBGYNs so the costs of doing business can't be that bad. Just practice defensive test-happy medicine and jack the costs through the ceiling and manage your patient's expectations.

I remember talking to an oncologist once who mentioned "You know there's not a lot of exact science about this. It's more like cooking."

I also had a conversation with an ortho surgeon who told me "I would not have me operate on that area unless the problem was life threatening." And he was the head MD for an NBA team.

So you have be a little bit jaundice eyed about medical miracles. And sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, horrible things happen.
 
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#385 ·
Trenton,

I see you replied to me awhile ago (wow, these threads march on despite my absence, don't they? well of coruse they do :) ).

I am only suggesting perhaps, lowering your standards a little. . .just a little. . .and yes, I think Grandma's standards were a little too low back in the day.

A man would have been a Prince if he changed a diaper back then.

As far as finding this "happy medium" between Grandma and Granddaughter. . . I leave that to the Ladies Lounge.

But I'll help:

A. Does he show affection?
B. Does he keep a job down?
C. Does he keep his appearance up mostly, even if he put on a little gut?
D. Does he chip in with chores around the house and, if not, at least handle the outdoor chores?
E. Does he fulfil his manly duties in the bedroom?
F. Is he not a spendthrift?

Rate each on a scale of 1 to 10. Add up. . .if your man scores above 40, he should be a keeper. :)

That';s the problem with you women. . .you don't have an appreciation for the scientific method/analysis and how you can logistically index these kinds of questions.

Dont' worry. . .I'm here to help you with math and science. :)
 
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#387 · (Edited)
If you want to actually get scientific, it is true that men and women's brains process information differently.

It is NOT a fact however that men are "more emotionally stable"... studies have actually shown that women's brains are far superior at processing and interpreting emotion quickly. Get your "facts" straight.
 
#388 ·
Hmmm. Having gone through many times of the month, probably about 300 I totally disagree with that. I say this light heartedly, it’s what women have and us men suffer from! Sure you are far better at understanding and processing your emotions, most especially when younger, men catch up in later life.

But you need to be because you have so very many more of them and you have them so very often. Relative to men that is. And that’ll be why women are experts with theirs, and others' emotions.
 
#390 ·
What is becoming of our men today?
Women.


Why are more and more men accepting their wives to be breadwinner and home maker while they sit and reap the benefits?
Us real men don't. But if my wife doesn't want to work and wants to stay home, then that is her responsibility. Mine is to bring home the bacon.

If a wife of mine works, then we both will come home and take care of the house.

And after having a wife that wanted to stay home out of pure laziness, I honored her wishes, and she ends up cheating....I can say I'll never have another stay at home wife. If she is going to cheat, then by god she is going to have an income too so that the divorce is pretty much a wash.;)


Why does it seem as if many men no longer have pride or back bone?
Divorce. And how the laws are slanted in favor of women. A woman can stay at home, cheat, and still end up with spousal support. So most men nowadays say "f*** that"

Might also have to do with the fact that over the years, our POS government keeps creating new taxes, and takes more and more of the family income where it now takes two incomes to live decently.


I remember when a man refused to accept money from his wife because he was short. He would work 2 jobs before he had his wife taking over his role in the household.
Is that what you want? Men to take care of you?


Nowadays, it seems as if more men are content with being "slave masters." They sit on their tails and give out orders while their wives does it all.
I sure don't see many men doing this. I just expect my wife to be an equal partner. If she doesn't work, then she cleans the house, cooks the dinner, all on the times she isn't sitting on the couch watching soap operas.

If she has a job, then we both take care of the house equally.


AND to top it off, have an audacity to complain about his "lacking" sex life when she's too resentful and or tired to give out.
If she stays at home, while the man goes out and works, she has nothing to be tired and resentful of.

If she works too and the man refuses to do any housework, then you have a point.


I'm sick of guys thinking that they deserve a promotion just for the sake of being a man. NOOOO. It doesn't work that way. Husband or not, you must earn your position (PERIOD). You have to show that you will make great choices for the greater good of the family and lead the pack successfully before you get to stamp everything in ink. You must confirm that when the going gets tough, you get tougher and will successfully guide the family through the toughtest of storms. You don't just get to make all the final decisions just because you’re the husband.

Methinks you are finding the wrong men. Or are just a misandrist in general.


I hear the same thing from my husband. He claims I don't "allow" him to be a man. I make all of the money, he hasn't done absolutely anything to try to bring in more income on his behalf to support the family, every final decision he makes seems to only benefit him, yet I'm suppose to sit there and knowingly get burned by allowing him to make a decision that I won't benefit from at all just because he's my husband. Ok, believe that if you want to.
Now you know what its like to have a stay at home wife.


Seriously, what's going on guys???? Is it the food you're eating or what????
Whats going on? Payback for some men I suppose.

Such misandry and double standards in this post
 
#391 ·
Women.




Us real men don't. But if my wife doesn't want to work and wants to stay home, then that is her responsibility. Mine is to bring home the bacon.

If a wife of mine works, then we both will come home and take care of the house.

And after having a wife that wanted to stay home out of pure laziness, I honored her wishes, and she ends up cheating....I can say I'll never have another stay at home wife. If she is going to cheat, then by god she is going to have an income too so that the divorce is pretty much a wash.;)




Divorce. And how the laws are slanted in favor of women. A woman can stay at home, cheat, and still end up with spousal support. So most men nowadays say "f*** that"

Might also have to do with the fact that over the years, our POS government keeps creating new taxes, and takes more and more of the family income where it now takes two incomes to live decently.




Is that what you want? Men to take care of you?




I sure don't see many men doing this. I just expect my wife to be an equal partner. If she doesn't work, then she cleans the house, cooks the dinner, all on the times she isn't sitting on the couch watching soap operas.

If she has a job, then we both take care of the house equally.




If she stays at home, while the man goes out and works, she has nothing to be tired and resentful of.

If she works too and the man refuses to do any housework, then you have a point.





Methinks you are finding the wrong men. Or are just a misandrist in general.




Now you know what its like to have a stay at home wife.




Whats going on? Payback for some men I suppose.

Such misandry and double standards in this post
:iagree:
 
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