Hi,
I could use some advice from a ladies point of view, since I know what the majority of guys would say.
My GF of 3 years and I moved in together two months ago. We have been fighting a lot as we adjust, but decided we both need to work on our relationship together to make it work. A few nights ago my GF put on some soft-core porn on one of the movie channels. She asked me if I liked and tried to get me in to it. I felt pretty uncomfortable about it because I know she is very jealous (as am I too though) and they are pretty lame. I just joked around about how cheesy it was and the such. Every night since then she has kept putting it on, until finally last night I got slightly turned on by it. When she realized that she flipped out and started yelling at me and saying some mean things. She also said that this is why she can't trust me to go out in public because I can get excited just from looking at other girls. She feels that since I watched the other nights and didn't get turned on that when I did this time it was on purpose.
I understand that she is hurt because she thinks I found the girls in the film attractive and I apologized and told her I didnt and the she is the only girl for me and that it was only the entire situation of watching the film with her that was getting me slightly excited...trust me it wasn't that much "excitment". I also realize would be hurt if I thought other guys turned her on. So I see her side.
Unfortunately though we are still fighting about it because I can't swallow my pride. I feel as though she trapped me by turning the films on but then getting upset when I got turned on by them. She feels as though I control when I get turned on. I apologized that she was upset and that I didnt like the girls in the film, but at the same time I don't want to lay down and let her run me over. I also tried to explain how humans are hardwired to react to some things and that guys are visual beings and sometimes we can't help it. I told her that doesn't mean I found them more attractive than her.
While I want her to apologize for her part she wants me to completely apologize and stop trying to act like it was okay for me to get turned on. Am I wrong for wanting her to realize that she tricked me? Am I a disgusting person for getting slightly turned on by watching this film with her? Am I way off base here?
Thanks for a different perspective on my problem.
I could use some advice from a ladies point of view, since I know what the majority of guys would say.
My GF of 3 years and I moved in together two months ago. We have been fighting a lot as we adjust, but decided we both need to work on our relationship together to make it work. A few nights ago my GF put on some soft-core porn on one of the movie channels. She asked me if I liked and tried to get me in to it. I felt pretty uncomfortable about it because I know she is very jealous (as am I too though) and they are pretty lame. I just joked around about how cheesy it was and the such. Every night since then she has kept putting it on, until finally last night I got slightly turned on by it. When she realized that she flipped out and started yelling at me and saying some mean things. She also said that this is why she can't trust me to go out in public because I can get excited just from looking at other girls. She feels that since I watched the other nights and didn't get turned on that when I did this time it was on purpose.
I understand that she is hurt because she thinks I found the girls in the film attractive and I apologized and told her I didnt and the she is the only girl for me and that it was only the entire situation of watching the film with her that was getting me slightly excited...trust me it wasn't that much "excitment". I also realize would be hurt if I thought other guys turned her on. So I see her side.
Unfortunately though we are still fighting about it because I can't swallow my pride. I feel as though she trapped me by turning the films on but then getting upset when I got turned on by them. She feels as though I control when I get turned on. I apologized that she was upset and that I didnt like the girls in the film, but at the same time I don't want to lay down and let her run me over. I also tried to explain how humans are hardwired to react to some things and that guys are visual beings and sometimes we can't help it. I told her that doesn't mean I found them more attractive than her.
While I want her to apologize for her part she wants me to completely apologize and stop trying to act like it was okay for me to get turned on. Am I wrong for wanting her to realize that she tricked me? Am I a disgusting person for getting slightly turned on by watching this film with her? Am I way off base here?
Thanks for a different perspective on my problem.