Some women become so obsessed with the new relationship feeling that they don't realize the joy of having someone who gets you. Someone that understands why you're short tempered or grumpy. Someone that will love you despite the ugliness.
Today I'm reminded to be thankful for all of these things. He isn't perfect and neither am I but we love each other regardless. We protect and cherish us. That is the ultimate kind of love.
The sweetest thing I have ever done for her was back in 1980 or so.
Her sister came to live with us to get out of an abusive marriage. To celebrate filing for divorce, and healing, my wife's sister wanted the two two of them, my wife and herself, to go out for a girls night out. My wife would drive, and have one drink. That was the plan, anyway.
After about 3 hours the two girls were brought back home by a guy my sister in law asked to help them. My wife was falling down drunk. My wife's sister wasn't much better off. They knew better than to drive drunk, at least.
I held my wife's hair while she threw up in the toilet, over and over.
And I never said a word about it.
Although I did elect to not let my wife to go to bars with her sister without me any more after that.
I hadn't known my wife even remembered that incident, until she mentioned it just a few years ago, when she said she thought it the was most loving thing I have ever done for her.
I agree with what you say and that is the basis of our marriage and why we can have sex with others while keeping our marriage and each other, above all else. Been successful at it for over 44 happily married years. Most make monogamy as the keystone of their marriage. Cheating is like a bomb going off in a marriage simply because we are taught that by a society who sues monogamy to bring order to the world. Our connect is not just sex but what you said but taking care of each other in our old age as we now do. My wife had girlfriends, I had girlfriends and we never had a problem with that. We chose our marriage over monogamy. Most will stick with monogamy even though it destroys the life they built with their spouse. I like our way better.
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