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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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someone in the FB group posted a short video about a woman who was involved in financial domination or findom. She basically made her living by having men send her money. I did some minimal research and opened a new FetLife account to try it out. I only made contact with one person but it didn't get anywhere.
Was this an idea for you to make some money also?

Are you struggling financially since having the baby and not working?


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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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Originally Posted by TAM2013 View Post
So basically, you receive d!c p!cs, sign up for kinky sh!t and bad mouth his weight and sexual performance to another load of strangers. Way to go.



So what was the real reason?

I'd have left you after the d!c p!c and fought for primary care.
1. You're a **** who can't read. The reason was boredom, like I said. Also, I didn't ask for the **** pic, the guy sent it to me without permission just like any other online *********. Any other woman can vouch that they've gotten some type of unwanted photo or message.

2. There's nothing wrong with signing up for kinky **** if that's what you're into.

3. I never "badmouthed his weight and sexual performance" just cause I said I went to a website. The name of the forum is "obese husbands and sexless marriages" that doesn't mean I think my marriage is sexless. If you have to know -- third trimester pregnancy, a caesarean, and recovery has made it uncomfortable for me to have sex.
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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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Was this an idea for you to make some money also?

Are you struggling financially since having the baby and not working?


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Yes, it was just an idea. We're not really struggling. I make decent money at my job. I just wanted something extra. My work schedule doesn't allow me to get a normal part time job.

Last edited by Hendrix; 05-17-2017 at 12:16 PM.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:19 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

You said they were lame. And I'm just telling it how many (including him) see it, OP.
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:36 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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2. There's nothing wrong with signing up for kinky **** if that's what you're into.
.

Respectfully, this is a very big assumption to make and is likely the main reason why you find yourself asking advice about the situation you in which you currently find yourself...
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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:39 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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Yes, it was just an idea. We're not really struggling. I make decent money at my job. I just wanted something extra. My work schedule doesn't allow me to get a normal part time job.
Are you currently working at a job?

Men don't give women money for nothing on these sites, do they?

I'm sure that you would have to do something. Are you interested in that whole fetishism area or is it just about money and a little excitement of attention?

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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 12:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hendrix View Post

2. There's nothing wrong with signing up for kinky **** if that's what you're into.
.

Respectfully, this is a very big assumption to make and is likely the main reason why you find yourself asking advice about the situation you in which you currently find yourself...
Especially if you don't clear it with the husband first.
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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 01:08 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

If this is the kind of crap you like to do, you have no business being married. Honestly I dont understand why your H didnt kick your butt out after the dic pic debacle. Get your priorities straight.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 03:46 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

First, you need to start thinking like you're married. Every decision, from the small to large, impacts your husband and your relationship because you guys are a team. So, you need to start THINKING before you act. It sounds like you might be a little impulsive. Before you hit SEND or SUBMIT or CREATE ACCOUNT, stop and think how this will impact your husband. Is this behavior disrespectful or unloving to him and/or our relationship? Why do I want to do this? What are the possible consequences of this action? Will my husband be hurt by this?

You also sound bored. You need to find something productive and worthwhile to do with your time. Find a playgroup, so you can be around people. Take up a hobby, or find projects around your home that could be done. Figure out how to occupy your time so you're not bored.

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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

What you're describing sounds pretty unusual for most marriages. Marriages come in all different flavors, but the key to a long-term marriage is that both people are in sync. What you're doing is not done very often by a married person, but it could be okay if your H was okay with it--which he's not.

If you want your marriage to last, you both *must* compromise so that you're both happy. It cannot be that you do whatever you want and he just has to deal with it (and the same for him). The path you are on does not have much chance for long term success. The more frustrated your H is about this stuff, the more likely he'll do something you won't like. And for you, there's a big chance you'll get tempted by someone giving you attention at just the right time.

You may be able to come to an understanding with your H about this stuff, but I feel it's much more likely you'll have to change to act more typical of someone who's in a marriage if you want it to last.

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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 12:36 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

Poor decisions and making excuses. To me, you are cheating. Why are you married if you still want to participate in this behavior?


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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 12:42 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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Many people consider any form of sexual interaction online to be a form of cheating.
I'm one of them. If you came here posting that your husband had done this, I'd recommend letting him know in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable and he needs to stop hurting you if he wants to stay married to you.

It sounds like you're lonely and possibly battling PPD? I'd look for a Mom's group or similar and put your energy into healthy activities/hobbies. Working out can be highly beneficial for managing feelings of isolation and loneliness, and even depression if your hormones are imbalanced (and many new moms struggle with this). What about joining a gym with quality childcare? I did this after we had our second and it was one of the best years of my life. I made friendships with other moms, my older child was able to play with the other preschoolers, and my infant was on premises so I could nurse him as needed. The facility was immaculate and they had a sauna and steam. It was a wonderful time and I felt very fortunate every day to be able to go for an hour and a half and spend the rest of the day playing with and caring for my children. It got us out too, so we often would pack a lunch and hit the nearby park afterwards.
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-20-2017, 11:13 AM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

If you find yourself constantly making poor choices on all these online social media sites, I do believe it's time for you to unplug yourself from the online world and plug yourself into your Husband, child and the real world.



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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 03:51 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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I don't think he does... I'd never go and have and actually have an affair though. I really do love my husband.
So how do you like all the time he spends flirting with women online? Does it make you feel good? Special? Wanting to please him?

What? You mean he doesn't flirt with other women? Why do you think that is?
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 03:57 PM
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Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions

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Originally Posted by Hendrix View Post
1. You're a **** who can't read. The reason was boredom, like I said.
Boredom is a fair reason to talk to other men online? Are you trying to say that because the man is online and not your nextdoor neighbor, it's ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hendrix View Post
Also, I didn't ask for the **** pic, the guy sent it to me without permission just like any other online *********. Any other woman can vouch that they've gotten some type of unwanted photo or message.
He did that RIGHT AFTER you said you'd do illegal stuff for money. Surely you aren't naive enough to think this wasn't your fault?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hendrix View Post
2. There's nothing wrong with signing up for kinky **** if that's what you're into.
So...it's cool for you to sign up for kinky sh*t BY YOURSELF? Without him? Please clarify.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hendrix View Post
3. I never "badmouthed his weight and sexual performance" just cause I said I went to a website.
So you went to that website and said how great it was that your husband was overweight? Please be honest with us.
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