Re: Making the Same Lame Decisions
OP, you and your husband need to sit down together and talk about what each of you thinks are rational boundaries for your marriage. That should have happened before the two of you tied the knot, but as it apparently didn't, then you need to have that conversation now. Find out what he wants his marriage to look like. Let him know what you'd like your marriage to look like. See if you two can agree on a common vision.
What is cheating? Is anything but actual PIV intercourse okay, or would something like oral sex be off-limits? How about making out - kissing, groping, etc.? Is sending out sexually explicit pictures of yourself okay? Would interacting online in a sexual way via web-cam or even just chat, with a member of the opposite sex, be cheating? Is having opposite sex friends that you spend time alone with acceptable? Is talking about your marital relationship and/or sex life with opposite sex friends okay? Is sharing the intimate and explicit details of your sexual relationship with others acceptable? Do either you believe that emotional affairs are actually cheating, and if so then what constitutes an emotional affair?
There's a lot to be considered when two people try to enter into a long-term relationship. You and your husband need to get on the same page regarding the nature of your marriage. Or, if you two find that you cannot agree on a set of boundaries that's acceptable to you both, you may find it simply better to go ahead and cut your losses sooner rather than later. There's no real future in a marriage where fundamental beliefs regarding what constitutes monogamy, and infidelity, are incompatible.
You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly upon our own point of view. - Obi Wan Kenobi