Giving my wife nude pictures of me.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

Many years ago I noticed that our marriage was boring and it was stressing me out. We did not have sex hardly at all. We were in our late 20's.

So I decided to be daring. I wrote my wife a note explaining that hey, I feel like we are being old farts, lets live and have some fun. Enclosed in the letter were some nude pics of me that I took with a camera with a self timer on a tripod.

I know this is going to come up in our marriage counseling session sooner or later.

She still brings this up time to time and how I am a disgusting perv.

Ladies how would have reacted to this?

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Old 01-18-2012, 10:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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Many years ago I noticed that our marriage was boring and it was stressing me out. We did not have sex hardly at all. We were in our late 20's.

So I decided to be daring. I wrote my wife a note explaining that hey, I feel like we are being old farts, lets live and have some fun. Enclosed in the letter were some nude pics of me that I took with a camera with a self timer on a tripod.

I know this is going to come up in our marriage counseling session sooner or later.

She still brings this up time to time and how I am a disgusting perv.

Ladies how would have reacted to this?
Well, I absolutely love it when my husband is being a disgusting perv so I would have smiled and enjoyed every picture.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:08 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

Dude,

The female body is a work of art.

The male body is just utilitarian, something you use to get around, like a jeep.

So. . .

Don't pass pics to your wife. . .read Nancy Friday's books (they are pop psychology all based on sexual fantasies and a lot of male sexual fantasies are based on the fact our moms/wives tell us to put "that thing" away, that it's ugly. ..thus enter exhibitionism, female domination, etc. . .).

You married mom.

See? You can skip the analysis on that part and just come to ol' Scannerguard.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

I would like it if my husband gave me pics. I hint and straight out ask for them but sadly it takes months before I get just one.
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

Another thing is. She told me that she was so disgusted by the letter that she could not even read it. She could not get past the pictures. She told me that I needed to see a psychologist. But....

She hid that letter and pics for years in one of her clothes drawer even though she said that she threw it out. If she found it so disgusting why would she save it for so long?
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

Well, nudey pics wouldn't do much for me personally. But, I openly admit that I am not much of a visually titillated person - and luckily my H has that one figured out now.

If he had done this to me, I would likely have just smiled at him and said "you KNOW pics don't do it for me, but if you kiss my feet, it will". And I mean literally kissing my feet - I think I have a fetish for someone having a fetish for my feet - if that makes any sense.

I guess that's what it comes down to, though -getting to know your spouse and what they like/dislike. Maybe some chocolates or flowers or an unexpected night out would have lit your wife's fire more.

Although, crazyguy, it sounds like maybe your wife has some inhibitions/repressions (showing disgust at the pics), but maybe she doesn't want to (keeping them). I think there are likely a fair number of women who are in that kind of boat. Their chains of repression are very strong.

Best wishes.
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Old 01-18-2012, 01:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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Another thing is. She told me that she was so disgusted by the letter that she could not even read it. She could not get past the pictures. She told me that I needed to see a psychologist. But....

She hid that letter and pics for years in one of her clothes drawer even though she said that she threw it out. If she found it so disgusting why would she save it for so long?
I can only think of two reasons why she'd keep the letter and photos after telling you she threw them away. The first would be that she actually did like the photos but was too embarrassed to admit it. The second would be as ammo in future arguments or divorce. Only you know your wife well enough to determine which of those it could be.
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Old 01-18-2012, 03:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

I would only want pics of my hubby naked if he looked like a Greek god in them (that would take some photomanipulation!!) and then I would want 12 of them so I could do myself up a calendar and hang it up at work . Or maybe one that was good enough to hang up and frame in our bedroom.

But if he did do something like that it certainly wouldn't disgust me.

Years ago when I was hot I did my hubby a key chain of me in a sexy pose. He loved it and used it for years till it broke. He still even has it. They way I look now I wouldn't do anything like that tho. I'm too fat.
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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I can only think of two reasons why she'd keep the letter and photos after telling you she threw them away. The first would be that she actually did like the photos but was too embarrassed to admit it. The second would be as ammo in future arguments or divorce. Only you know your wife well enough to determine which of those it could be.
I can think of a third reason but none of them make sense.

1) She liked it..... If she did it got me nowhere.

2) She was disgusted and ammo for arguments and divorce..... Nothing really bad about it in my book. Although she has brought it up in arguments she never admitted keeping it. I know it is no longer in that drawer, I do not know if she threw it out or started to hide it in another place.

3) She was really disgusted and so offended that she made attempts to read it later when she felt better and could accept it..... Never had a serious discussion about it other then that I need help I am a perv. So it was basically ignored.

The pictures were taken at a time when I was working my butt off when she was a stay at home mom. I lost 40lb because of all that stress and work and looked better then I had In a long time.

Funny thing is she always thought she was fat when she looked great. She always wanted to loose just a few pounds. She wanted to make a pin up poster of herself that I could hang up at work. She was so much more fun and open before we got married. Of course that poster never did happen. She only gained weight.

Anyways, apparently after 20 years I am still not good with the female mind. So ladies any incite if this is a turn on,off or whatever else?
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

I feel confident about how I look, and my woman calls me her sexy man.

But I would never take naked pics of myself to give her. I would never think to do that. That just seems weird.

Having said that, her reaction to call you a "disgusting perv" was uncalled for and pretty mean if you ask me.

It's shaming language which is not cool.


If the genders were reversed here, most women would be very hurt if they got a negative reaction for taking naked pics for their husband.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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Anyways, apparently after 20 years I am still not good with the female mind. So ladies any incite if this is a turn on,off or whatever else?
I need an emoticon that says "Enchantment Nailed It."

You need to know what 'speaks' to your wife. Only she can really tell you why she found it offensive. To speculate, maybe that isn't her style at ALL and the timing and who knows what, struck her the wrong way. Only she can answer this for you, including why she kept them.

It does sound hurtful that she called you a perv for this. Based on how you described it, with the LETTER, which would be key for me, I'd receive this with good humor. As much as I admire my husband's body, receiving a photo wouldn't turn me on. BUT the letter and unexpected nature of this would be the intriguing factor! Everyone is different though.

I think context is key, including perhaps where your relationship was at at the time. I'm not saying this justifies her reaction though. I'm sorry to hear that.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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If the genders were reversed here, most women would be very hurt if they got a negative reaction for taking naked pics for their husband.
Completely agree.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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The pictures were taken at a time when I was working my butt off when she was a stay at home mom. I lost 40lb because of all that stress and work and looked better then I had In a long time.

Anyways, apparently after 20 years I am still not good with the female mind. So ladies any incite if this is a turn on,off or whatever else?
You're right, that 3rd reason did make some sense also. Any of those could be why she kept it when she said she didn't.

As for your last question, I personally would have found the photos to be a turn on, especially if as you said you were in better shape than you had been in a long time. But I tend to think a little more like a man than a woman in the sense of being very visual. Even if I hadn't found them to be a turn on though, I'd never call my husband things like disgusting or a perv. That's where I think your wife was way out of line. There are ways to express that we don't like something our spouse has done without calling names like bratty children.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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You're right, that 3rd reason did make some sense also. Any of those could be why she kept it when she said she didn't.

As for your last question, I personally would have found the photos to be a turn on, especially if as you said you were in better shape than you had been in a long time. But I tend to think a little more like a man than a woman in the sense of being very visual. Even if I hadn't found them to be a turn on though, I'd never call my husband things like disgusting or a perv. That's where I think your wife was way out of line. There are ways to express that we don't like something our spouse has done without calling names like bratty children.
Truth be known, I do know her very well. I was hoping though that I was wrong. The letter and pictures was one of many desperate and failed attempts to fix this marriage. I was looking for other perceptions though.

All the head games it dose goes down to "bratty children." Man that hits home. Just the other day we were discussing our problems. That discussion ended in her telling me "I hope you choke on your breakfast." Later on she brought that up again and laughed about it. I try not criticize her, she is my wife. But she takes every opportunity to cut me down in some stupid power struggle. The only thing she does not get is that I am not playing games.

I am going to go through a few more counseling sessions. If no change after that then I am done. The only way I can make her grow up is to make her live alone. I wasted 20 years on a child playing games.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Giving my wife nude pictures of me.

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I am going to go through a few more counseling sessions. If no change after that then I am done. The only way I can make her grow up is to make her live alone. I wasted 20 years on a child playing games.


maybe you should take those photos back or destroy them, if you're heading for that path and she handles things in a bratty manner.
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