How To Encourage More Communication... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 02:17 PM Thread Starter
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How To Encourage More Communication...

...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.

I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.

She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 02:35 PM
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Re: How To Encourage More Communication...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.

I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.

She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?
Ok I'm not a lady but can I make one suggestion.
RING HER!
Why does everyone think a text is a way of communication suitable for romancing a would be partner.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 02:59 PM
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Re: How To Encourage More Communication...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
...but without sounding too desperate or needy? I'm asking for a ladies perspective on this as a vast majority of online advice seems to focus on the man not communicating.

I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week. Hence a lot of our communication is done via text or mail but getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.

She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first. I keep things light, humorous and brief during working hours and a little sentimental in the evenings but even then her responses are hardly engaging. I get that some people aren't good at written communication. Personally I love it but perhaps I'm the one who needs to be more interesting so ladies of TAM: what do you suggest some actions I take?
Some people aren't texters. Some would prefer a phone call.

Seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week should be plenty for a new relationship, even maybe too much.

It is impossible to gauge if she is as into you as you are into her from what you've shared.

In my experience, a man needs to pursue me pretty hard to get closer to me. Texting me wouldn't necessarily count as pursuit in my book.

I'm not saying you should pursue more necessarily, I'm just saying that's what it would take for me to become more and more interested. At the same time, if there's too much pursuit or seeing each other too much in the very beginning I may end up pulling back a little. Things need to be paced nicely.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 02:59 PM
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Re: How To Encourage More Communication...

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I'm pretty sure we're exclusive[...]
Youre pretty sure? You don't know? Have you made it clear to each other that you're exclusive? Because if you haven't, then you're not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
[...] getting anything more than the bare basics out of her is like getting blood from a stone.

She doesn't ask questions to encourage a conversation (though she will respond to mine) nor does she initiate unless I write to her first.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but IMO she's just not that into you. When I dated men that I was just getting to know, if they were too busy and I could only communicate through text, I just couldn't build a good rapport. I knew it wasn't going to work. If I could see them often enough, then I'd have no problem striking up a text conversation or calling them and they'd do the same.

When someone doesn't ask as many questions as you ask, it means they aren't all that interested in learning about you.

Communicating when dating is a two-way street. Not all your job. If she sucks at communicating, think about the future, knock on effects that may have.

Sorry if this seems all negative, it's JMO.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-18-2017, 07:16 PM
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Re: How To Encourage More Communication...

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Youre pretty sure? You don't know? Have you made it clear to each other that you're exclusive? Because if you haven't, then you're not.



Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but IMO she's just not that into you. When I dated men that I was just getting to know, if they were too busy and I could only communicate through text, I just couldn't build a good rapport. I knew it wasn't going to work. If I could see them often enough, then I'd have no problem striking up a text conversation or calling them and they'd do the same.

When someone doesn't ask as many questions as you ask, it means they aren't all that interested in learning about you.

Communicating when dating is a two-way street. Not all your job. If she sucks at communicating, think about the future, knock on effects that may have.

Sorry if this seems all negative, it's JMO.
This!
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-19-2017, 08:56 PM
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Re: How To Encourage More Communication...

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Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
...but without sounding too desperate or needy?

I've been seeing a really nice woman for the past couple of weeks and when we're together the spark is definitely there so to speak. We've told each other how much we like each other and I'm pretty sure we're exclusive but due to work commitments we don't always get to see each other for more than two or three times a week.
Ok, I stopped here. You've only been dating for TWO weeks, you already want to be EXCLUSIVE, and you're already seeing each other two or three times a WEEK? And you don't want to sound needy?
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