This might be kind of long, so bear with me and thanks for reading to the end if you get there..
I'm not sure how many of you ladies out there have the same issues I do about our husbands/significant others regarding the internet, but I'm tired of feeling like a piece of the furniture half the time.
I have the most wonderful fiance in the world. He's kind, faithful, understanding, a great provider, wonderful family man..and a great lover. That is, if I can get him off the internet!!
Mind you, he doesn't surf porn sites, doesn't gamble on sports sites, isn't interested in chatting with random females online, etc....he just plain surfs random sites on the net for HOURS upon HOURS!!
Not that he doesn't appreciate my company as I'll sit on the couch while he surfs the net and he'll have a partial conversation with me..yet not a complete one since half of him is listening to what I'm saying..and the other half is reading what he's seeing on the net!!
As many of you are probably nodding your heads in agreement right now, it's maddening!!
I've tried talking to him about this nicely helping him to understand that I don't mind if he surfs the net...just that when I'm sitting there trying to carry on a conversation with him..that he stop what he's doing and give me his undivided attention.
I've tried to explain nicely to him that although he's there in person..he's not there in mind while he claims to really really BE listening to what I have to say...but after about half an hour of rambling...trying to be upbeat and talk about positive things..I just end up frustrated...as the only thing I see is the side of his head..and his delayed responses as he continues to surf the web.
We had a bit of a blowup about it awhile back and he finally said, "Fine, I won't go on the net at all anymore!!" I told him that that was a cop out and all I wanted was for him to give up just a little bit of it....not ALL of it.
It has yet to change. He comes home from work and jumps on the net, eats in front of the net, and watches the movies we rent from a separate screen on his desk while he surfs the net..while the rest of us watch the same movie on the big screen and his back is to it as he sits at his desk...surfing the net. Before he leaves for work in the morning, he jumps on the net for an hour before he gets in the shower, eats his breakfast at his desk while surfing the net..and is on it right up until the time he has to leave.
His days off are the same. On the net until we decide to go do something. As soon as we get home, he's on it again. Eats breakfast and supper in front of the net, etc.
The kids each have their own computers but I monitor the time they spend on them since I want family time together. Me and the kids sit and eat at the kitchen table while Dad eats at his computer..surfing the net.
I myself don't have a personal computer as it's more important for me to spend time with our family rather than surf..but the times that I have wanted to be online..even for a short time..unless my fiance is sleeping..he'll stand there and hover over the computer desk..just waiting for me to complete my task so he can get back on the net again.
Annoying isn't the word for it!!!
It gets worse!! Once the kids are in bed, I try to have a conversation with him on the other side of his desk for a bit in order to meet him halfway. I'll finally get frustrated enough to go to our bedroom and just read a book while he'll say to me, "I'll be in in just a few minutes honey.." A few hours later he's STILL surfing the net and when he finally DOES come to bed..I'm either too tired to care about any personal time with him..or too angry.
In addition, it's not that I haven't tried to get his attention in other ways. I'm not a nag and we have the sort of relationship where a little joking makes a world of difference regarding how we solve our problems...we can talk about most anything and work out our issues..except for this one. I've tried to be seductive and after the kids are in bed..changed into something sexy. I've approached him seductively, etc., yet all I get is an, "Mmmmmmm honey...you smell good.." and he goes right back to surfing the net. Many times out of frustration, I've just gone into our bedroom and turned the light off, hoping he'd notice. Sometimes he does and calls out, "I'll be right in there honey.." and again..two hours later..nothing.
UGH!!!
Has anyone dealt with anything similar to this? What did you do besides flip the voltage switch to the room where the computer is and pretend there was some kind of power outage?????!!
Any help would surely be appreciated!!
I'm not sure how many of you ladies out there have the same issues I do about our husbands/significant others regarding the internet, but I'm tired of feeling like a piece of the furniture half the time.
I have the most wonderful fiance in the world. He's kind, faithful, understanding, a great provider, wonderful family man..and a great lover. That is, if I can get him off the internet!!
Mind you, he doesn't surf porn sites, doesn't gamble on sports sites, isn't interested in chatting with random females online, etc....he just plain surfs random sites on the net for HOURS upon HOURS!!
Not that he doesn't appreciate my company as I'll sit on the couch while he surfs the net and he'll have a partial conversation with me..yet not a complete one since half of him is listening to what I'm saying..and the other half is reading what he's seeing on the net!!
As many of you are probably nodding your heads in agreement right now, it's maddening!!
I've tried talking to him about this nicely helping him to understand that I don't mind if he surfs the net...just that when I'm sitting there trying to carry on a conversation with him..that he stop what he's doing and give me his undivided attention.
I've tried to explain nicely to him that although he's there in person..he's not there in mind while he claims to really really BE listening to what I have to say...but after about half an hour of rambling...trying to be upbeat and talk about positive things..I just end up frustrated...as the only thing I see is the side of his head..and his delayed responses as he continues to surf the web.
We had a bit of a blowup about it awhile back and he finally said, "Fine, I won't go on the net at all anymore!!" I told him that that was a cop out and all I wanted was for him to give up just a little bit of it....not ALL of it.
It has yet to change. He comes home from work and jumps on the net, eats in front of the net, and watches the movies we rent from a separate screen on his desk while he surfs the net..while the rest of us watch the same movie on the big screen and his back is to it as he sits at his desk...surfing the net. Before he leaves for work in the morning, he jumps on the net for an hour before he gets in the shower, eats his breakfast at his desk while surfing the net..and is on it right up until the time he has to leave.
His days off are the same. On the net until we decide to go do something. As soon as we get home, he's on it again. Eats breakfast and supper in front of the net, etc.
The kids each have their own computers but I monitor the time they spend on them since I want family time together. Me and the kids sit and eat at the kitchen table while Dad eats at his computer..surfing the net.
I myself don't have a personal computer as it's more important for me to spend time with our family rather than surf..but the times that I have wanted to be online..even for a short time..unless my fiance is sleeping..he'll stand there and hover over the computer desk..just waiting for me to complete my task so he can get back on the net again.
Annoying isn't the word for it!!!
It gets worse!! Once the kids are in bed, I try to have a conversation with him on the other side of his desk for a bit in order to meet him halfway. I'll finally get frustrated enough to go to our bedroom and just read a book while he'll say to me, "I'll be in in just a few minutes honey.." A few hours later he's STILL surfing the net and when he finally DOES come to bed..I'm either too tired to care about any personal time with him..or too angry.
In addition, it's not that I haven't tried to get his attention in other ways. I'm not a nag and we have the sort of relationship where a little joking makes a world of difference regarding how we solve our problems...we can talk about most anything and work out our issues..except for this one. I've tried to be seductive and after the kids are in bed..changed into something sexy. I've approached him seductively, etc., yet all I get is an, "Mmmmmmm honey...you smell good.." and he goes right back to surfing the net. Many times out of frustration, I've just gone into our bedroom and turned the light off, hoping he'd notice. Sometimes he does and calls out, "I'll be right in there honey.." and again..two hours later..nothing.
UGH!!!
Has anyone dealt with anything similar to this? What did you do besides flip the voltage switch to the room where the computer is and pretend there was some kind of power outage?????!!
Any help would surely be appreciated!!