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Is this what guys/ husbands do?

8K views 17 replies 16 participants last post by  FirstYearDown 
#1 ·
I am new to this forum and not sure where my post fits in here.

I have been married for a little less than a year. I knew my husband for about a year before we got married. Our courtship period was amazing!! I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. And he IS an incredible guy. Everyone loves him and he is very helpful and caring towards almost everyone. He is good looking and extremely witty and humorous. But only some nine months into the marriage, we have started fighting so much. The frequency and growing intensity of our fights has started to scare me.

Now let me get to the point. I understand that men surf porn. And I am absolutely fine with my husband doing it. But I need to know whether it is acceptable for a married man to add ****ty chicks on a social networking site where everything is happening real time. I mean these are actual girls who are uploading obscene pictures of themselves and not some model on a porn site. My husband has gone ahead and 'liked' her photos on Facebook. Now our cousins and other family members are also on Facebook. They can see that what he views and the fact that he has liked it goes to say that is is not some virus or this has definitely not happened by mistake. What is also bothering me is that he still indulges in stuff like this. When I confronted him, he apologized and said that those girls are on his list since before marriage and that he has even forgotten about them. He happened to come across some photograph and just clicked the 'like' button. He also swore that he has never chatted with girls online.

In another incident sometime back, his mails were open and I happened to see that he has subscribed to some forum which was some kind of an adult site. It was the kind of site which has girls' explicit profiles. I am not sure whether it was an adult dating site or just another porn website.

I am just so confused. I know he is not cheating on me, in that he is not having sex with another woman. But isn't this some form of infidelity as well? And he is very romantic with me. Its not like he doesn't get love at home hence he has to resort to such things. That is not the case.

I just need a third person's opinion, perhaps a guy's opinion whether this is normal behavior? Is this something that even loyal husbands do just to catch a break?? Help!!!
 
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#2 ·
No most men do not do these things. Your husband is being very disrespectful to you.

If I were you I'd do some snooping to find out all that he's up to. It could be a lot more than it looks on the surface.
 
#4 ·
Not normal at all! I agree with the poster above, dig a little deeper and make sure he is not cheating on you.

My husband never looks at porn. I've looked through his history and nothing. He never deletes his history either. I'm really sorry. I'd be ticked off if my husband was liking other girls on FB.
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#6 ·
First of all, you can't treat your husband like a child with all these time outs.

Porn is porn. Most of it's pretty nasty..none of it's pretty in the long run but if it's all your hubby is looking at...let him look. You are the name of his game..use it to your advantage girlfriend...you're the one he loves...you go girl!!!
 
#7 ·
Does this bear some further looking into? Probably.

But before you go sneaking off to see if he's sneaking around, ask him in as open way you can, to come clean with everything with the promise that you won't judge him. A lot of guys, myself included, had a really hard time dealing with our porn habits after marriage. We realize porn's got a greater hold on our life than we ever thought, and we're ashamed to go to our wives for help because we downplayed so much before.

Just give him the opportunity to put it all out there on the table so it can be addressed: The porn, the toys, that "boys' weekend" in Miami... all of it. If you give him the opportunity to come clean with everything with complete amnesty, he'll probably be relieved to have someone to share it with.
 
#8 ·
I must be from another planet because i just don't get the marriage/porn thing that I see here so often. I consider this behavior strange, but then again, I am a guy who didn't surf porn when I was married; I would have thought it very tacky and didn't have any desire.

Are some women actually ok with their guy watching some porn alone? My x-wife would have freaked out. She didn't like it if she thought I was looking too happy during the Miss America Pageant. I can't imagine her reaction if she thought I was looking at porn.
 
#10 ·
Are some women actually ok with their guy watching some porn alone?
I am. Just as I expect him to be okay with the fact that I still enjoy masturbation in addition to partnered sexual activity. The difference seems to be that I can successfully get myself off using mental imagery whereas he prefers visual stimulation.

I'd have a very different opinion if he was actually engaging in personal contact with his visual images, however. That crosses a line IMHO.
 
#17 ·
A lot of married men look at porn, but your husband's behavior of 'liking' suggestive photos of women on FB is not good at all. The women posting those photos are looking for attention, obviously, and your husband is one of many giving them what they want.

Beyond that, it's very disrespectful to you (and your family members also on Facebook) for him to be doing it at all, especially when you've confronted him about it. I don't understand how he continues to do these things when so many people can see what he's doing. There is no such thing as accidentally 'liking' something on FB. He needs to stop this behavior asap and spend less time on the computer.
 
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