michelle2012

I am new to this forum and not sure where my post fits in here.

I have been married for a little less than a year. I knew my husband for about a year before we got married. Our courtship period was amazing!! I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. And he IS an incredible guy. Everyone loves him and he is very helpful and caring towards almost everyone. He is good looking and extremely witty and humorous. But only some nine months into the marriage, we have started fighting so much. The frequency and growing intensity of our fights has started to scare me.

Now let me get to the point. I understand that men surf porn. And I am absolutely fine with my husband doing it. But I need to know whether it is acceptable for a married man to add ****ty chicks on a social networking site where everything is happening real time. I mean these are actual girls who are uploading obscene pictures of themselves and not some model on a porn site. My husband has gone ahead and 'liked' her photos on Facebook. Now our cousins and other family members are also on Facebook. They can see that what he views and the fact that he has liked it goes to say that is is not some virus or this has definitely not happened by mistake. What is also bothering me is that he still indulges in stuff like this. When I confronted him, he apologized and said that those girls are on his list since before marriage and that he has even forgotten about them. He happened to come across some photograph and just clicked the 'like' button. He also swore that he has never chatted with girls online.

In another incident sometime back, his mails were open and I happened to see that he has subscribed to some forum which was some kind of an adult site. It was the kind of site which has girls' explicit profiles. I am not sure whether it was an adult dating site or just another porn website.

I am just so confused. I know he is not cheating on me, in that he is not having sex with another woman. But isn't this some form of infidelity as well? And he is very romantic with me. Its not like he doesn't get love at home hence he has to resort to such things. That is not the case.

I just need a third person's opinion, perhaps a guy's opinion whether this is normal behavior? Is this something that even loyal husbands do just to catch a break?? Help!!!

EleGirl

No most men do not do these things. Your husband is being very disrespectful to you.

If I were you I'd do some snooping to find out all that he's up to. It could be a lot more than it looks on the surface.

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Stonewall

No its not Ok!

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Not normal at all! I agree with the poster above, dig a little deeper and make sure he is not cheating on you.

My husband never looks at porn. I've looked through his history and nothing. He never deletes his history either. I'm really sorry. I'd be ticked off if my husband was liking other girls on FB.
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Mavash.

No most men don't do that.

memyselfandi

First of all, you can't treat your husband like a child with all these time outs.

Porn is porn. Most of it's pretty nasty..none of it's pretty in the long run but if it's all your hubby is looking at...let him look. You are the name of his game..use it to your advantage girlfriend...you're the one he loves...you go girl!!!

Dr. Rockstar

Does this bear some further looking into? Probably.

But before you go sneaking off to see if he's sneaking around, ask him in as open way you can, to come clean with everything with the promise that you won't judge him. A lot of guys, myself included, had a really hard time dealing with our porn habits after marriage. We realize porn's got a greater hold on our life than we ever thought, and we're ashamed to go to our wives for help because we downplayed so much before.

Just give him the opportunity to put it all out there on the table so it can be addressed: The porn, the toys, that "boys' weekend" in Miami... all of it. If you give him the opportunity to come clean with everything with complete amnesty, he'll probably be relieved to have someone to share it with.

southbound

I must be from another planet because i just don't get the marriage/porn thing that I see here so often. I consider this behavior strange, but then again, I am a guy who didn't surf porn when I was married; I would have thought it very tacky and didn't have any desire.

Are some women actually ok with their guy watching some porn alone? My x-wife would have freaked out. She didn't like it if she thought I was looking too happy during the Miss America Pageant. I can't imagine her reaction if she thought I was looking at porn.

Stryker

If one has a Stunning Wife, Its uncanny that , one can resort to old or new ways of addendum of such kind,and go for some excuse on WT.....!

TwoDogs

I am. Just as I expect him to be okay with the fact that I still enjoy masturbation in addition to partnered sexual activity. The difference seems to be that I can successfully get myself off using mental imagery whereas he prefers visual stimulation.

I'd have a very different opinion if he was actually engaging in personal contact with his visual images, however. That crosses a line IMHO.

Lionelhutz

I think there is a HUGE difference between viewing porn and direct interaction/communication with other women.

I think it is way off side.

Jennifer_DIN

Erm, I'm on the fence about communicating with internet girls, but I would venture that it's not OK to 'Like' explicit photos on facebook on your public profile where your family can see?

SimplyAmorous

I wouldn't be OK with the type of porn this wife is talking about....and if he was materbating to it, terribly NOT ok. If he wasn't saving it for me, he'd get whacked!

In our younger marriage, I would get upset over him looking at Playboy bunnies online, I would catch him, sometimes find it on his computer, he never tried to hide it though...I'd go in there start deleting, he would try not to look for periods of time, but fall back into it, I remember crying once, taping scriptures to the computer after he left for work. He was feeling lonely- I always had a baby in bed with us & wasn't showing much interest in his body- so shame on me, he never denied me, I was more the problem... I can't blame him for this at all.

..... Now I have done a complete 180 on this issue....I like it too, I also learned he never masterbated to it - and yes, I believe him 100% (story behind that) .... How he restrained himself is beyond me..I would not have been able too had I been in his shoes.

Now we enjoy it together & he has the freedom to download all he wants - with my blessing...he still only likes those still images, I think he gets off more by the downloading /collecting --than even taking the time to look at them. No matter what eroticness we view/ look upon....together or separate... we always "wait" for each other... neither of us likes to masterbate, we find it hollow in comparison to being with each other.

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Stryker

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Jennifer_DIN

Of course!? What on earth is wrong with it? I watch porn along all the time. Not a big deal...