My other half is a very manly man - he's big and muscly, he lifts weights, he's hairy, he likes war films and taking about guns, all that jazz. It also means that when we have a row he gets really scary.
I mean, arguing is normal. I think a certain amount of arguing is healthy - it's not like we fight every night or anything, we just have the odd row like any couple.
But when we do I hate it as he's really scary. I mean he'd never hit me or anything but his manner and physical presence and loud, deep shouty voice that are all part and parcel of his big stature (exaggerated yet further by me being tiny - I am 5'1 and pretty petite) and he just can't possibly realise how horribly threatening it is. What's more any arguments we do have are just so physically unfair - if I wanted to storm off and he didn't want me to he could perfectly easily just pick me up and stop me going anywhere.
Suggesting anything like this to him would probably offend him so much it would CAUSE an argument and he'd accuse me of accusing him of non-existent violence that he is obviously not guilty of. It's just if his behaviour was in a scene in a film it would totally look like his character was about to hit his girlfriend. Just because he doesn't actually do that and I know he never would doesn't mean the overpowering shoutiness isn't horrible and scary.
I just wish there was a quick way to make him calm down during a fight with me and make him not be so physically imposing.
Any ideas / anyone had this issue?
I mean, arguing is normal. I think a certain amount of arguing is healthy - it's not like we fight every night or anything, we just have the odd row like any couple.
But when we do I hate it as he's really scary. I mean he'd never hit me or anything but his manner and physical presence and loud, deep shouty voice that are all part and parcel of his big stature (exaggerated yet further by me being tiny - I am 5'1 and pretty petite) and he just can't possibly realise how horribly threatening it is. What's more any arguments we do have are just so physically unfair - if I wanted to storm off and he didn't want me to he could perfectly easily just pick me up and stop me going anywhere.
Suggesting anything like this to him would probably offend him so much it would CAUSE an argument and he'd accuse me of accusing him of non-existent violence that he is obviously not guilty of. It's just if his behaviour was in a scene in a film it would totally look like his character was about to hit his girlfriend. Just because he doesn't actually do that and I know he never would doesn't mean the overpowering shoutiness isn't horrible and scary.
I just wish there was a quick way to make him calm down during a fight with me and make him not be so physically imposing.
Any ideas / anyone had this issue?