Yes, I lack the ability to say I'm married, no thanks, f@ck off. I also smell cologne and toss my underwear aside to get ravished in the men's stall......don't you know. I am weak and powerless and any Barracuda man will take away my core beliefs, my values and my soul for a night of screwing over a toilet. Yup, you caught me.
I have to wonder if (some) married men here are projecting. Would they do that if a woman was coming on to them? My guess is yes and thus they assume any woman who goes out dancing with friends would do the same. Hmmmm.
Bright Eyes, you said you don't dance with the men. Has that changed?
Not sure where you live but here in Houston, a sports bar will not survive unless the women are young, gorgeous and "working their assets" shall we say and yes, I would consider it the same. I was (besides the servers) one of only a handful of women (there with hubby btw) at various bars. All the patrons were men and openly gawking/picking up/doing everything possible to get with these women. Men with rings on their fingers. Entropy has repeatedly said that sports bars aren't the same and I disagree. Bottom line, why do married men object to women going out dancing when they go to sports bars to check out/pick up young women? If watching the game is important, any television will do. I stand by my point that many men project their own behavior on to their wives.
I am not grinding on the women at the sports bar. I agree that bars in general have their own risks. It is not equivalent to actually dancing hot and close with another person. Making out may happen at the sports bar. I have never noticed. Less so than at the club.
My wife usually does touch me at the sports bar. I have been know to kiss her a time or two as well. But we are out together as a couple.
I often go to sports bars when I am on a trip. We hang out after work and drink beer.
So again you totally missed the point of anythting I have said. No doubt my fault again.
The problem is the putting of oneself into those environments. You use the word forbid. Not I dear lady. You know me better than that. I expect resepct from my wife. I do not forbid her anything. I do however have my own boundaries as to what I will accept in my marriage. I will not accept disrespect. I don't have to. These places are for single people or for folks in open relationships. How open depends on the couple.
I would not want my wife to have a male personal trainer. I would not have a female personal trainer. I just throw that out there. As usual though you wish to change the venue. But if that gym is an overnight stay at a hotel, drinking alcohol, and involves my wife being groped by the guys at the gym then yeah I have a problem with that. I spend a lot of time at the gym. Guys do their best to hit on the women. Me I in the f'ing squat rack and pretty much the more plates I put on the farther folks back away which suits me fine. I go to the gym to lift. Many women go to the gym to be hit on and wear skimpy clothes for the attention. I could care less whether they are married or not. I do not interact with them. But is it not equivalent to a meat market GNO. If I was giving them nassages and grinding into them then that would be more equivalent, but lets lower the lights and get stinking drunk first and wear some easy access clothing.
The topic is about meat markets, staying out all night all night, drinking heavily and dancing up close and personal with strange men. You do not want to defend that because you know it is undefenseable so you try to make it about something else. To me if the husband is ok with it then not harm no fool, maybe just a tad naive.
Hooters? Really Hooters? I have not been to a Hooters in a while. Can I grind on drunk babes there? If so maybe you are right. Hooters? The people I know who like Hooters actually like the hot wings. So the wives can go out all night, get drunk, dance with strange men and the husbands alternative is to go to Hooters? Kids go to Hooters.
Are you equating something legal to something that has anything to do with marriage? Meaning as long as it is within the law it is something guys need to accept from their wives? Same for husbands.
Did anything I write indicate I thought it was ok for husbands to go to these clubs, dance with women and nail them? Does anyone think this is ok?
Church was mentioned. I would have a problem with a church where my wife stayed overnight, had much to drink and was being groped by other men.
Meet the teacher night at school. I would be against my wife going to an all night teacher meeting where there was heavy drinking and men were feeling her up for entertainment.
Meat markets are designed for this activity. If your hubby is ok with any of this then great have a good time. But if he is not you are showing your priorities.
You make the UNBELIEVABLE assumption that us women who go out once in a blue moon are grinding on some dude and that is our sole purpose for being there. Let me clue you in on what GNO is about....at least in my camp. GETTING AWAY FROM MEN. We want to go out, have fun and dance. It isn't about men, honey. Far from it.
I wish the OP would come back and clear some things up.
It sounds like anything these ladies do, their husbands have issues with. That they throw a fit every time, so they never get to go out. That wouldn't fly with me, especially since the guys go away for the weekend...a sports weekend away? Really? They can't hang in the basement?
Seems a little odd that the guys can go away an entire weekend, but the wives can't go out for an evening. She even said the location can change if it's a problem, and they'd be willing to have the guys go dancing with them. But it still seems like it's an issue.
They were asked to elaborate but did not. It actually would have been a more interesting discussion if we had a chance to look at what those wankers were up to.
It seems plenty of guys here have a mighty low opinion of women, and that's at the heart of the opposition to them going out dancing with friends. The argument appears to be that women are too weak-minded to resist the wily charms of a man on the prowl. They're too primordially driven to turn down a man who asks them to dance. They lack the willpower to withstand temptation.
It's not that we men want to keep them from going out and having fun, but - for their own sake - we must keep them from temptation. Posted via Mobile Device
I confess I have a low opinion of women that do these things against their hubbys wishes.
We are really talking about what the women admit to actually doing and less about a weakness.
For it to be a double standard, it has to be similar events that are being treated differently. But you are comparing different things. The wives are not asking to go to the wine bar with the two hot studly bar tenders to serve them. They want to go to a dance club where there are men who want to dance with them while buying them alcohol and hoping to pick them up. Think of it as passive versus active.
I agree with yopu here. If a group of women go to a dance club - particularly an attractive group - almost certainly some guys will want to dance with them. Some may even try to pick them up.
I guess my next question is ... so what? Do we fear our wives cannot resist these handsome strangers? Do we believe our wives can't say 'thanks, but no thanks'? Are our wives really so easy?
Look, I can understand a guy putting his foot down when his wife is out clubbing regularly. That displays a less-than-wifely mindset.
But as a once-a-year thing? I think a woman who doesn't want to cheat can somehow manage not to. Posted via Mobile Device
You make the UNBELIEVABLE assumption that us women who go out once in a blue moon are grinding on some dude and that is our sole purpose for being there. Let me clue you in on what GNO is about....at least in my camp. GETTING AWAY FROM MEN. We want to go out, have fun and dance. It isn't about men, honey. Far from it.
I get that, but I don't get the meat rack club angle that as mentioned. If women want to get away from men, how does going to a pick up joint accomplish that?
BTW, my comment is not a defense of a supposed sport weekend away that really is something else.
No, the aim of those establishments are to please men. Why else would they wear what they wear, comfort? Alcohol is freely served at sports bars as well. So should a married man be barred from going to that?
Hooters babes are too skanky for me. You are I guess trying to use something pretty mainstream.
What is closer to equivalent is guys getting lap dances at a place where extras happen. That is closer to the same thing. That said I still place a greater danger on the club because the club is with guys who want sex where as the strippers / prostitutes want money. The guys at the club will be interested in establishing a connection where there may be an EA / PA. Strippers .... not so much.
But i will trhow you a bone. I would not want my wife to be a Hooters waitress. Less about the patrons and more about how she may be treated by "management".
TRBE, if a W is going to the gym or sporting event because there are hot guys there (or even just to get attention from not-so-ot guys) it is inappropriate. Just as inappropriate as a married man going to hooters to gawk at the waitresses is inappropriate. As to the gym, where there is proper equipment and professional trainers, sporting events, where people go to enjoy being a spectator, or a sports bar where guys go to drink and eat pub food while spectating sports, what exactly is a married woman's reason for going to a night club? What does she get there that is exclusive to that kind of place, besides looking sexy for the guys? And to be clear, 99.9% of straight men are not there to dance (though they will spend time on the dance floor because thats what it takes for them to get what they ARE there for).
Entropy nailed it earlier when he wrote that people go to bars to bathe in that atmosphere.
Guys go to a sports bar to drink and eat? Please, just spare me. If that were true, a burly ugly man would be serving food and fist pumping the air when "the team" scored. Instead you get "Crystal" who is 20 and shoves her tits in your face when giving you wings and doesn't know a darn thing about "the team".
I don't give a crap what men do at a club. I don't care why they are there either. I care why I am there. To have fun with my married friends and dance, period. Again, why the projection??
Hooters, strip clubs, meat market clubs, sports bars - whatever, the venue isn't the point.
The point is: IF your spouse has an issue with you going there, having the attitude that "I am just going to do whatever I want and to hell with him/her" is disrespectful and detrimental to your relationship. So is the attitude that you are FORBIDDING your spouse from going to said venue. The whole point is that RESPECTFUL spouses discuss these things and come to an agreement on what is comfortable FOR THEM.
I would never forbid my hubby from going to a strip club. But he knows what I think about them and, if he went, would be doing so knowing full well there's going to be an issue involved. So he doesn't go. Thankfully he's not the type to even WANT to go, which is an important value FOR ME in OUR relationship. Obviously it isn't in others relationships. And that's fine.
I do not understand why any woman would go on a GNO knowing full well her husband doesn't approve. For WHATEVER reason. But that's just me.
I get that, but I don't get the meat rack club angle that as mentioned. If women want to get away from men, how does going to a pick up joint accomplish that?
BTW, my comment is not a defense of a supposed sport weekend away that really is something else.
If there was a place that women could go to dance without men, I'd be there and NOT a lesbian bar. Hmmmm, perhaps a business venture I should explore.
If you want to bar GNOs on the basis of their being "way too many posts" on TAM about them leading to trouble, might I also suggest we ban:
- Facebook
- having an ex
- women in the workplace
- having neighbors
- online gaming
- chat rooms
- message boards (bad news for TAM)
- going back to school
- socializing with other adults
A GNO is just one of many situations where temptation could exist. And one that is far less treacherous than several of the
above. Can't get rid of them all. Posted via Mobile Device
I totally agree with this. I donlt think it is about getting rid of any of these things. They are not inherently ... EVIL. They have their good use and their not so good use.
One would hope that the couples boundaries cover much of these. That said I do think technology has left most of us playing catch up in our relationships.
Yes, I lack the ability to say I'm married, no thanks, f@ck off. I also smell cologne and toss my underwear aside to get ravished in the men's stall......don't you know. I am weak and powerless and any Barracuda man will take away my core beliefs, my values and my soul for a night of screwing over a toilet. Yup, you caught me.
I have to wonder if (some) married men here are projecting. Would they do that if a woman was coming on to them? My guess is yes and thus they assume any woman who goes out dancing with friends would do the same. Hmmmm.
I would be thinking below the waste for sure if I had been drinking a lot and dancing with a very attractive woman who was hell bent on geting me in the sack. I know I cannot play that game. I would not put myself in that situation and am not all gungho with my wife doing that either. Her wanting to do that would be the real issue.
So why am I there again? Why am I dancing with these women? Oh I would just dance with other guys ... right?
If you want to bar GNOs on the basis of their being "way too many posts" on TAM about them leading to trouble, might I also suggest we ban:
- Facebook
- having an ex
- women in the workplace
- having neighbors
- online gaming
- chat rooms
- message boards (bad news for TAM)
- going back to school
- socializing with other adults
A GNO is just one of many situations where temptation could exist. And one that is far less treacherous than several of the
above. Can't get rid of them all. Posted via Mobile Device
I absolutely agree with this.
I never suggested banning GNO, I think you may be confusing me with someone else. I do firmly believe that concerns about GNO should be taken with equal weight as any other issue a spouse might have in a marriage.
296Likes
Re: The girls night out debacle... 
Baffled.
