Need some honest opinions here...
I have been married for over 10 years, my best friend has been married to her husband for over 16 years.
My best friends birthday is coming up and I wanted to get a bunch of girls together, have dinner, some drinks, go dancing and just hang out. We were planning to make it an overnighter and the next morning get up late, do the brunch thing and return to our lives. She is a mother of a teenager and rarely gets out of the house without her husband and son. She was all for this girls night out... until...
She told her husband we were going and he completely flipped out. He thinks it's inappropriate for her to go out without him because she'll be at a bar, club or a restaurant. He's given her the "its not that I dont trust you, I dont trust other men" speech. Now my husband has started in on the same thing, suggesting the only reason we want to go out is to act like we're single.
I can safely and totally honestly say that this is not a frequent occurance, maybe once a year, and that we really dont pick up men or behave inappropriately, we're pretty boring. The other women going with us are married as well.
I can also say that our husbands go out of town for guys retreats for sports for full weekends at a time and she and I both support them having an outlet.
The reason we never go out... because the guys throw a fit EVERY time. My questions are this...
Why are men so threatened with a girls night out?
Whats with the double standard?
Is this something everyone runs into or is it just us?
I don't believe anyone has an issue with this.
It sounds like a lot of fun to me, not a bunch of "cougars" prowling around looking for a pick up.
Why does everyone assume that you will be looking to pick up men or that you will LET men pick you up? You aren't capable, mature, adult women who can easily take care of yourselves? You are THAT tempted to stray? What are you? A bunch of helpless clueless babes in the woods? What's up with that attitude?
After over a decade of marriage these husbands don't feel you are capable of taking care of yourselves? Of being faithful? Of having the maturity and capability of going out on your own?
And how does SHE know that when her husband goes out on one of HIS expeditions that instead of hunting deer he's looking to bag hot babes at a bar? Hmmm..???
...Isn't there some sort of modicum of trust that needs to be in every successful relationship? Why the assumption that a bunch of women are looking to "get it on" if they go out for dinner and some drinks and sleep in late?
Why does everyone assume that you will be causing trouble or that trouble will find you? I'm just not getting this...
I wouldn't put with my husband giving me a hard time about this and I certainly wouldn't give him a hard time about going out with his buddies. If something is going to happen, then it's going to happen REGARDLESS.
Plenty of people get into more trouble on Facebook or in chat rooms right in the "safety" of their living rooms then the do in a bar or restaurant. Talk about ridiculous misconceptions and stereotypes...
Maybe it's just that I'm not paranoid about a bunch of women heading out for a good time to celebrate a birthday but I don't see any cause for concern, except that you and your girlfriend have paranoid, sexist husbands with ancient ideas and values and THIS is the situation that needs to be addressed most of all.
One reasons these guys do this is because you LET them. Don't you think you should take a stand at some point and demand to be treated as mature adults, rather than as children and possessions?