My wife is more comfortable with flannel pajamas. They do nothing for me at all and are really a negative. I've suggested buying her more sexy pajamas or lingerie. But, she apparently doesn't go for it. It could be a body image thing. She has gained weight and is now working out to get back in shape.
Ideally, I'd like to get her to switch from flannel pajamas to sexier lingerie. Maybe there are intermediate steps to get there?
I think that her flannels are more indicative of what seems to be her current mindset right now - one of convenience and coverage over playfulness and exposure. After all, even the most mundane flannel pajamas can become sexy if you exhibit the right attitude with them - wearing only the top, for instance, with only one 'strategic' button done up.
I know you want your wife to just 'let loose', but it will take a whole series of baby steps and patience to get there. Instead of going right for the sexy lingerie, study what she is currently wearing - and see if you can duplicate it in a different fabric. For instance, if she is wearing flannel tops and bottoms, then you can get tops and bottoms in satin or silk, or you can even find flannel tops and bottoms that are in sexier prints (leopard print, hearts, lips, etc).
A lot of times, when women are not confident and comfortable with themselves or with their sexuality, they will hide behind their pajamas. And while a man wants to have that super sexy lingerie and is tempted to just get right to wearing that, you really need to find something that SHE will feel confident, comfortable, and sexy in.
When I am feeling fat I like my flannels. Not so much to bed, I like to sleep nekkid, but around the house. They're warm and loose and baggy and just very comfy. Hubby does not like them though, so one compromise we have made is that I wear flannel PJ pants from our favorite football teams. They're just PJ pants the same as my others, but he likes them way more.
One thing you might try is to help her feel more sexy. I know if I feel sexy I am much more likely to wear lingerie. You know her - what would help her feel sexier?
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Re: Change from flannel to sexy lingerie?
It could be a matter of being practical. Where we live is pretty chilly, so right now, my wife wears flannel-like material and her pajamas are two-piece. I've found it to be conventient though since she likes for me to touch her as we go to sleep. She rolls on her side facing away from me, and this is an invitation for me to snuggle behind her and hug her. To complete this, she wants my hand under her pajamas shirt and cupping her breast ... it's a gentle, intimate and comfortable embrace for falling asleep. If she sleeps on her back, she always wants my hand to fall down to her pubic hair - or however far it will reach in that position. Again, gentle, reassuring, intimate, and comfortable for falling asleep. Rolling onto her side but too far for me to snuggle up to her, then that's a signal she likes me to touch her butt ... same thing. Not every night is a wild passionate night, and the two piece pajamas make all the intimate, skin-skin touching of gentle nights together seeking sleep much more convenient. I don't wear any pajamas specifically so I will be a little colder and need to snuggle up against her because I know she likes this when we sleep.
On nights when we have other things on our mind ... well if it started out as planned, then the attire might change, but if it was spontaneous, then I'm pretty much an expert at removing those two piece pajamas .
I think there are levels of lingerie.... from pretty tame to WAY sexy!
So two ideas here....
1. Find lingerie made of flannel.... Kind of to break the ice....
2. Find something like a sexy nightie that covers from the chest to the butt.... it'll still be silky and sexy, and still modest for her.... work up to the wild stuff later!
One more idea....a gift card to Victoria's Secret!
Another idea, you and she should share what your ideas of sexy lingerie are. They might be WAY far apart on the scale, or maybe you both presume the other person is thinking of something else..... Talk about it.
My wife would sleep in a fur coat if she could. never nude, but she slowly went from frumpy to sexy. it started with long nightgowns and sexier pants sets. Now, it's shorter, sexier gowns, or if it's cold, she will lounge around in flannel, but the pants are not allowed in the bed. We compromised. I want her naked, she is just too cold natured.
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Change from flannel to sexy lingerie? 
