Hello,
I'm 29 yo and have been married almost 6 years. We fell in love so much and inseparable for 8 months, then I got pregnant and we decided to marry. That was where it all began. My husband did drugs alcohol and all, we fought so much yet always I find a way to forgive. He said he wanted to change for our family and he did for 2 years, or so I thought. And then I found out he's been lying to me. He relapsed on the drugs since a year already. he apologized and we started over again. Then i found out he sex chat with lots of women and ask some girls out in FB which he said he never met them just chat. I didn't believe him so we separated for 3 months until he practically begged me again, so for the sake of our child I forgive him again. Since then I got tired of fighting and just accepted everything. He still lies but I looked the other way and focus on my child and work more.
Until I meet another man. Well my husband and I meet this guy together and they became friends. In total I only see this guy 3 times, that is because my husband have a hunch that I really like this guy. And he's right, too. So he cleverly find a way not to include me whenever they hang out. But those 3 meetings are enough to make me think about this guy all the time! For visual this guy is spanish-french, tall and tan and young and ridiculously handsome, super humble and very very succesful. I tried so hard to distract myself so I don't say text him or anything. Then one day I got into a big fight with my husband (because he lied, again), and he was so mean to me, told me I'm not tolerant (is he crazy!!) and that's why he lied all the time. So I burst out and said "It's so hard not to have feelings to another man when you hurt all the time". He got ao angry and asked whether i cheated or not and I told him I didn't act on it. He even told me that me having feelings for another man is worse than what he did (sex chat, making appointments with girls which only God and him know whether they met or not), and told me that was all boys' thing.
I'm so confused, is there any benefit of trying so hard not to cheat? I'm on the verge of letting go of loyalty and just go wild here. I love my child so much and wouldn't want to hurt her by divorcing my husband. But I just have so much anger and bitterness for him and so much butterflies and excitement for the other guy. Sorry for the long post! Please help anybody!
I'm 29 yo and have been married almost 6 years. We fell in love so much and inseparable for 8 months, then I got pregnant and we decided to marry. That was where it all began. My husband did drugs alcohol and all, we fought so much yet always I find a way to forgive. He said he wanted to change for our family and he did for 2 years, or so I thought. And then I found out he's been lying to me. He relapsed on the drugs since a year already. he apologized and we started over again. Then i found out he sex chat with lots of women and ask some girls out in FB which he said he never met them just chat. I didn't believe him so we separated for 3 months until he practically begged me again, so for the sake of our child I forgive him again. Since then I got tired of fighting and just accepted everything. He still lies but I looked the other way and focus on my child and work more.
Until I meet another man. Well my husband and I meet this guy together and they became friends. In total I only see this guy 3 times, that is because my husband have a hunch that I really like this guy. And he's right, too. So he cleverly find a way not to include me whenever they hang out. But those 3 meetings are enough to make me think about this guy all the time! For visual this guy is spanish-french, tall and tan and young and ridiculously handsome, super humble and very very succesful. I tried so hard to distract myself so I don't say text him or anything. Then one day I got into a big fight with my husband (because he lied, again), and he was so mean to me, told me I'm not tolerant (is he crazy!!) and that's why he lied all the time. So I burst out and said "It's so hard not to have feelings to another man when you hurt all the time". He got ao angry and asked whether i cheated or not and I told him I didn't act on it. He even told me that me having feelings for another man is worse than what he did (sex chat, making appointments with girls which only God and him know whether they met or not), and told me that was all boys' thing.
I'm so confused, is there any benefit of trying so hard not to cheat? I'm on the verge of letting go of loyalty and just go wild here. I love my child so much and wouldn't want to hurt her by divorcing my husband. But I just have so much anger and bitterness for him and so much butterflies and excitement for the other guy. Sorry for the long post! Please help anybody!