friend tug of war
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Old 02-18-2012, 01:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default friend tug of war

First some back story. I had known Stefanie since she worked at JC Nickle with me. My H worked there too. She was my friend and I talked with her frequently. We unfortunatly lost touch, and I had no way of finding her.
So my H and I are on our way home today and he says, "my friend Stefanie called". Without thinking I said, since when do you have a friend named Stefanie.?" Then it hit me, Ohhhh Stefanie!!
how is she??
Come to find out, he spent an hour on the phone with her talking.
I became upset. I said she called to talk to me, not you. You could have asked her to call back when I would be home. You got to hear everything thats been going on in her life, not me. Keep your cotton picking hands off MY friends!! Find your own dammit!
I have posted in the threads about my friendships up and downs, and the hurt I have endured.
I know this seems really silly, but I have up to this point only a couple of friends, and I guess im being territorial.
Its not because he was talking to a female. I really don't care who he talks to gender wise.
I guess I saw it as "poaching" one of the few friends I have.
What do you guys think? Thanks

PS Stefanie lives in Austin Texas now.
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Old 02-18-2012, 03:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

I think you're being selfish and silly.
Stefanie can be friends with both of you and should be. Neither you or your husband should have friends alone.
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Old 02-18-2012, 04:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

I think you over reacted. Sorry. She rang to speak to you, but your H took the call instead and they had a conversation. No big deal, unless of course you think there I'd more to it! Give her a ring and catch up with her. I'm sure she will be glad the hear from you!
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Old 02-18-2012, 04:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

I completely agree with the others.

I would also apologize to your hubby for doing nothing wrong.
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Old 02-18-2012, 11:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

Thanks guys, you're right. I did over react. I will apologize to the hubby.
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Old 02-18-2012, 11:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

Are you fairly newly married?

The reason I ask is that I was more jealous of other women looking or hitting on my husband. I was jealous of other women just in general. That faded over time. I know my husband is in love with me and really focuses on me being happy. My husband talks to a couple of my friends before he hands the phone over or if I'm not home. He's just being nice. I would worry if he went out of his way to contact them without me knowing. I know my husband and he would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. We are each others best friend and we tell each other everything!
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Old 02-18-2012, 12:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: friend tug of war

This would not have bothered me in the least...

Your husband worked with her in the past, he was her friend too... the way I look at marraige is .... me and my husband are ONE..... any of our friends can talk to either one of us when the other is not around... (many may not agree with us, but that is how we are )....both of us consider them all "our friends" and we always tell each other about the conversation later anyway -just cause we want too.... and you still could have called her later that night - surely he got her number.

We all make mistakes, sounds like you probably apologized to your husband for the over-reaction, this is good. Time to call Stefanie!
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