Been looking around on here lately and it appears my wife and I are at a crossroads yet again. We love each other and have two small children. Yet it alway seems we have a conflict either a big one or something so small I do not know what it is. My wife is always wanting to "fix" our problem for good which she sees as communication.
I don't think it is communication at all she just does not like some of my answers. Seriously when we have a serious talk she almost starts to cross examine my responses and almost get me to answer a certain way. The big problem we have is really just the classic one: I want and need more sex. She wants more communication and closeness. But here is the kicker I can give her all the closeness and communication to the moon and back but yet the sex life stays as a total back burner for her.
We tried marriage counseling but in the end it seemed to make things worse. It was like she tested me in between each session. Now before anyone says well I need to help her more around the house etc. trust me I more than pull my share. On the flip side if you say I need to Man-up etc. I have tried that too. Once in counseling she even admitted that she does not know what gets her in the mood I even joked it is like Green Eggs and Ham. We all had a laugh and she agreed.
Lately I have just kind of given up cause tired of being the one that in charge of getting her in the mood only to be shot down 90% of the time. She says she is still in love with me and finds me attractive but never ever says anything sexy to me. Never really compliments me much at -- I did not even notice this for like the first 10 years cause not that big of deal to me but now it makes me resentful to tell her how beautiful she is etc. when I never hear anything back. So anyway we are in a three week no sex slump and I have not said a word about sex nor flirted or anything. After kids go to bed she is happy to look at FB, Pinterest or watch TV. Feel like I have another sister.
Not sure what I should do - she thinks we need to go back to counseling and work on communicating more as if she could just change me into the perfect clone of what she wants then life would be fine. For now I am just going to be that clone I guess but will not cannot show her any real husband type affection cause then I feel used.
Any ideas?
I don't think it is communication at all she just does not like some of my answers. Seriously when we have a serious talk she almost starts to cross examine my responses and almost get me to answer a certain way. The big problem we have is really just the classic one: I want and need more sex. She wants more communication and closeness. But here is the kicker I can give her all the closeness and communication to the moon and back but yet the sex life stays as a total back burner for her.
We tried marriage counseling but in the end it seemed to make things worse. It was like she tested me in between each session. Now before anyone says well I need to help her more around the house etc. trust me I more than pull my share. On the flip side if you say I need to Man-up etc. I have tried that too. Once in counseling she even admitted that she does not know what gets her in the mood I even joked it is like Green Eggs and Ham. We all had a laugh and she agreed.
Lately I have just kind of given up cause tired of being the one that in charge of getting her in the mood only to be shot down 90% of the time. She says she is still in love with me and finds me attractive but never ever says anything sexy to me. Never really compliments me much at -- I did not even notice this for like the first 10 years cause not that big of deal to me but now it makes me resentful to tell her how beautiful she is etc. when I never hear anything back. So anyway we are in a three week no sex slump and I have not said a word about sex nor flirted or anything. After kids go to bed she is happy to look at FB, Pinterest or watch TV. Feel like I have another sister.
Not sure what I should do - she thinks we need to go back to counseling and work on communicating more as if she could just change me into the perfect clone of what she wants then life would be fine. For now I am just going to be that clone I guess but will not cannot show her any real husband type affection cause then I feel used.
Any ideas?