What do you do when your husband snacks before dinner?

HopeFloats59 · 03-11-2012, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Nova

Chelle D, I did let him know dinner was going to be ready in half an hour. And he still chose to snack.
He told me was going to eat, but of course once I got the roast out and cut the ****ing thing up, he wasn't hungry anymore. This isn't the first time I have asked him to wait for dinner but he chooses something else instead.
He thinks he needs to lose weight and that snacking instead of dinner will help. I have tried to tell him he'd be better off eating a real meal instead of ice cream and frosted flakes, but I don't care anymore.
It seems like whatever I ask him to do/not do, he "forgets" and does his own thing anyway. Like how I tell him I'd like to spend some time with him, so we go out for date night, but with his ****ing friends. How romantic is that?

He is just incapable of understanding why this upsets me. I get accused of overreacting and being selfish. The whole dinner thing is just like the icing on the cake.

This would irritate me, too. You're trying to be a good wife, looking out for his health and preparing a loving meal for him. I cook full breakfasts/pack lunch and snacks/make dinner/bake for mine every day, and I would really be irritated if he wasn't appreciative or didn't at least have the courtesy to tell me he wasn't going to eat my food. It does seem like he's being self-centered and insensitive. What argument does he use to say you're being selfish?

Dark Nova · 03-11-2012, 11:26 PM

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

I didn't make dinner the last two nights and guess what?
HE cooked for us.
But that doesn't make things even. We have been married for about 6 months and I guess we have some things to adjust to. Like him adjusting to eating what I make and absolutely loving it.

I do need to communicate better though. Usually I get so mad I blow up on him and then we are both sad and sorry.

darksideofthemoon · 03-12-2012, 11:29 AM

Good for you! I was going to say "stop cooking" and I see that's what you did.

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby · 03-12-2012, 11:47 AM

I have dinner made the minute he walks in the door. I'm usually hurrying him up, so his dinner does not get cold.

Cereal is the extent of his snacking and it's only once in a great while. Then I'll hold dinner for 1/2 hour to an hour after that bowl of cereal.

However, I don't think it would bother me much. I don't eat 1/2 the foods I cook due to the calorie content. I try to cook as healthy as possible. If I don't eat the dinner I prepared, I'll eat a bowl of cereal myself for dinner. I cook most our foods homemade from scratch as well.

Gardendream · 03-13-2012, 07:36 AM

Its so funny how I thought I was alone in this.

I figured out that if his dinner is ready at his hungry time (husband belly has a very punctual clock) then he will not hunt for snack or grump around due to hunger.

I still remember the last time I found him on the sofa looking guilty, with empty packet of palmiers and lots of crumbs around him. I was annoyed and amused at the same time. Whenever I caught him snacking I just ask him what time he wants dinner and wont bother cooking anything complicated

Dark Nova · 03-13-2012, 07:50 PM

I usually try to have dinner ready for him when he gets home, but lately he has been coming home at different times and I never know when to have it done by. After the first few times I tried calling him to find out when to expect him, but he never answers his cell. Says he can't hear it at work. Part of me is convinced if it was one of his friends he'd hear it perfectly fine.

Speaking of, its his birthday and I'm in bed alone while he hangs out with a friend downstairs. I'm so lonely sometimes.

desert-rose · 03-14-2012, 11:22 PM

Are you really upset about the snacking issue, or is it that you don't feel like you guys have a routine that matters to you like dinners together?

Don't get passive aggressive or angry. Think about why this bothers you and what you would expect of your husband and then talk to him about it.

If he works all day and you look forward to dinners together and he is spoiling that by eating before coming home or something, then you could let him know that you feel disappointed or sad because you were looking forward to a dinner date and he wasn't there with you. Maybe he doesn't even realize that he is being inconsiderate. It sounds like he is wrapped up in his own routine while your routine is currently dependent on his and so you might feel the slights as having a bit more weight than you would if you were not relying on him for companionship or connection. Just a conjecture...

dyen12 · 03-15-2012, 12:30 AM

If he chooses to eat like a child, treat him like a child ... next time stick his whole dinner in the blender and spoon feed him.

EleGirl · 03-15-2012, 12:43 AM

What time does he get home and what time is dinner ready?

If you know that he is hungry when he walks in the door, could you have dinner ready at that time?

Halien · 03-15-2012, 07:21 AM

Sorry, but I just couldn't help seeing the title of this and drawing an instant mental image. If he snacks before dinner, maybe you can smack his nose with a newspaper just like you do when he makes a puddle on the kitchen floor after you forget to let him out to do his business.

But seriously - most men are very honored when their wife cooks like you do. I wouldn't cook for him if he has so little appreciation of your hard work. Before I dated my wife, she brought me homemade cookies when I was in the hospital with a crushed ankle. I dropped them just after she left and was so afraid that the nurse would come in and throw them away that I unhooked my traction, disconnected the IVs, and slid out of the bed to retrieve them. Blood was everywhere, but I got those home made cookies.

desert-rose · 03-16-2012, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyen12

If he chooses to eat like a child, treat him like a child ... next time stick his whole dinner in the blender and spoon feed him.

Isn't that just a bit over the top? How would you like to be treated that way? Maybe you were just joking; I hope so, but if not...Instead of just making it into a huge deal, why not see it as something simpler and more fixable rather than antagonize it. Not worth getting up in arms over this. It's not that he's behaving like a child, it's that he's being inconsiderate about something that matters to his wife, probably because he doesn't understand that this is significant to her. The first step shouldn't be punishment, it should be raising the concern that something she is working hard on is going unappreciated by him and she is upset that he isn't giving her something she needs and wants to know if it is possible to change that. Talk first, get vindictive later (if at all).