What do you do when your husband snacks before dinner?

Dark Nova · 03-09-2012, 06:45 PM

Ladies, I feel like giving up.
I spent hours in the kitchen this afternoon preparing and cooking dinner for my husband. He was "too full" from a sandwich and ice cream he had when he got home to eat. This from a guy that can eat a whole large pizza and want dessert afterwards.
I wish he had waited half an hour for what I had made instead of snacking when he got home.

It may seem like a trivial matter to be bothered over, but I did spend hours and I was left with a huge amount of food to pack in the fridge. And I had to eat alone.

Pandakiss · 03-09-2012, 07:17 PM

same here...but we both are snackers, i would ask husband if he wanted pizza, or meatloaf, or whatever for dinner.

if he was non-commital, than i would make sauasges with chips, or cheese eggs with pancakes later in the evening, like around 8/9.

if i asked him, he said chicken stuffed with this and that, dressing...he didnt eat, already ate, i wouldnt make that again, and i also wouldnt cook anything real for a few weeks.

i would also just bring it up casually, that feeding loved ones means a lot to me, and it hurts my feelings when i get the impression that you dont care.

your husband does care, but guys are dumb, you just have to tell him in a calm voice how you feel, and come up with a compromise.

chillymorn · 03-09-2012, 07:27 PM

I used to be able to eat a snack 5 mins before dinner and still eat a 7 course meal. But as I got older that just dosn't work anymore.maybe he will come to this conclusion if you start making him peanutbutter and jelly for dinner. when he askes how come your making him p&j,s everyday you can say because i'm sick of cooking nice meals that I have to eat alone.

Hope1964 · 03-09-2012, 07:36 PM

My hubby is a grown man - if he wants to snack before dinner and not eat the GOOD stuff then I say more for me!

It used to really bug me that he didn't eat what I cooked. Now we plan meals and cook almost everything together and it isn't an issue any more.

I would just pack it in single serving sized portions and freeze it for another day

Chelle D · 03-09-2012, 09:30 PM

Did you see him getting the sandwich & icecream?

I would have told hubby when he got home, that a hard cooked dinner would be ready in about half hour.

j

Dark Nova · 03-10-2012, 12:56 PM

Chelle D, I did let him know dinner was going to be ready in half an hour. And he still chose to snack.
He told me was going to eat, but of course once I got the roast out and cut the ****ing thing up, he wasn't hungry anymore. This isn't the first time I have asked him to wait for dinner but he chooses something else instead.
He thinks he needs to lose weight and that snacking instead of dinner will help. I have tried to tell him he'd be better off eating a real meal instead of ice cream and frosted flakes, but I don't care anymore.
It seems like whatever I ask him to do/not do, he "forgets" and does his own thing anyway. Like how I tell him I'd like to spend some time with him, so we go out for date night, but with his ****ing friends. How romantic is that?

He is just incapable of understanding why this upsets me. I get accused of overreacting and being selfish. The whole dinner thing is just like the icing on the cake.

Chelle D · 03-10-2012, 01:27 PM

I would definitely be pissed too then. Don't blame you one bit. He is being very selfish.

j

Mavash. · 03-10-2012, 01:57 PM

Stop cooking for him and make plans that don't involve him. He does this because he can.

cherokee96red · 03-10-2012, 02:06 PM

That exact "pre-dinner feasting" is what led to the institution of "On Your Own Night" in my house.

Now that it's just me, there are many nights I don't even eat dinner, period.

LadyFrogFlyAway · 03-10-2012, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mavash.

Stop cooking for him and make plans that don't involve him. He does this because he can.

It sound like he's being inconsiderate. Cooking is a big PIB and if you're knocking yourself out to make a nice meal, he should show some effort to wait and eat with you.

If it's a regular occurence hang the pots high and let him fend. Hopefully he'll get the message.

chaos · 03-10-2012, 04:06 PM

Have you let your feelings be known to him?

deejov · 03-10-2012, 04:52 PM

Yeah, I would not cook large meals. Just enough for yourself, if you feel the desire. He seems to be able to sustain himself just fine. Whoo hoot extra time!!

Gratitude · 03-10-2012, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelle D

I would definitely be pissed too then. Don't blame you one bit. He is being very selfish.

Maybe this is when you do that 180 thing that they talk about? Ignore him completely. Do not make dinner for him. Make your own plans to go out on the weekend without him. (Even if you just go to a gym to workout.. or a movie alone...) make it seem like you had a good time. (But don't pretend it was with another man.. thats' a no-no).

I don't know if the 180 thing goes as far as washing your own laundry & not his. But it is doing things for YOURSELF.. without having to have "justification" of doing something to satisfy him, or to make his life easier...etc, etc.

I'd say, after about a week, if he hasn't confronted you about it all, or at least some of it, then write him a note. Tell him how he is disrespecting the time & energy you have made in the past to reach out to him & connect with him. Tell him how it hurts to make him a nice meal, just to have it rejected. Relate it to him in a way he can understand. Maybe tell him, it is like, if he thought about you all day at work, and was excited to come home and make love to you... and you told him, sorry, you just mastrabated a half hour ago and are now satisified and you don't want/need his love right then... He would feel completely rejected. Or if maybe you told him you were taking him to watch a football/basketball/whatever game... then you ended up taking him to your best friends house, so that you all watched it on the telly. Would it frustrate him to think he was going out someplace fun (his fun) with you for a change.. and then find out it is at your friend/ families house. Somehow, you've got to relate to him that you are being "ignored" emotionally from him and how frustrating it is for you. Hopefully after giving him a "cold shoulder" regarding his needs for a week & then a letter... it would get the point across.

Then ask to go to a counseling session together.

Woah - do the 180? Counselling? Really? This sounds a bit extreme!

My husband always snacks before dinner! It's like as soon as he knows it' coming he gets hungry and finds food in the cupboard. Sometimes he thinks it's funny and hides it. I take it off him and tell him to sit down and wait.

All you can do is ask your husband not to snack before dinner. Tell him you spend all this time making dinner and if he keeps doing it you'll stop cooking for him and wasting your time. And then just cook for yourself.

Chelle D · 03-10-2012, 08:41 PM

Gratitude...

It was her second reply that sparked that reaction from me. She was clearly more upset than just the snacking. He is not respecting her feelings. She even said that the dinner thing was just the icing on the cake.

My thoughts in that long reply were trying to get the the "cake" issue, and not the icing issue.

But it's good to have ppl disagree with me. My viewpoint is usually a bit odd.

Gratitude · 03-10-2012, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelle D

Gratitude...

It was her second reply that sparked that reaction from me. She was clearly more upset than just the snacking. He is not respecting her feelings. She even said that the dinner thing was just the icing on the cake.

My thoughts in that long reply were trying to get the the "cake" issue, and not the icing issue.

But it's good to have ppl disagree with me. My viewpoint is usually a bit odd.

Yes I can see from her second response she has other issues not just the snacking.

I was replying to her original question in the thread.