Around 43 I began to feel bad. Bad pms, wicked mood swings, crying for no good reason, etc.
A month ago I started biodentical hormones (I'm 45) and I'm feeling so good that I'm kicking myself for not starting them sooner. Should mention I'd already gotten in shape, lost weight, was taking care of myself and have been in therapy doing some personal growth. But nothing was helping what turned out to be a hormonal problem. My progesterone was nonexistant, my testosterone gone, etc. No wonder I felt bad. LOL
I no longer think what I was feeling was some MLC it was simply perimenopause symptoms.
Is it possible we explain away women's midlife episodes sometimes as "Pre-menopause" or "peri-menopause" and that's why we don't recognize it as often? What do you guys think?
I sometimes think it's the reverse - we explain away the very real, yet sometimes difficult to pinpoint changes that perimenopause brings over a long period of time in a woman's life (almost a decade or more in some cases) as a MLC - when in fact there may very well be an underlying physical cause that is facilitating the upheaval.
Severe hormonal imbalance has the uncanny ability to unbalance many things in your life - not just the physical, but the emotional and mental as well. There's a reason why that time in a woman's life was called her going through "the change".
At least that is what I have noticed in my own personal journey with perimenopause over the last few years.
My wife started using progesterone cream recently as well. Helped her immensely. She also took up photography because she was feeling some "empty nest syndrome." Maybe that's another term we should add to the synonyms for a woman's mid life crisis?
I think that it's quite natural to go through periods of contemplation and re-evaluation in our lives as we go through major transitions.
In my own life I have noticed several transitions that were very difficult - the transition into parenthood, the transition in to mid-life physical changes - the transition into caring for elderly parents. I expect that the transition out of active parenthood (empty nest) will also be difficult.
I went through a particularly difficult time between ages 40 to 43. I had my youngest son only weeks away from having my 40th birthday, and it was a very bittersweet experience. While many of my friends were getting ready for their kids to enter high school and look at having a lot of freedom in the years ahead (which I had been looking forward to with my oldest son), I found myself starting over from ground zero with the newest.
It was particularly difficult to go through the same rounds of child care, working, starting school while no longer having anything in common with the other parents who had children the same age as our youngest - most of the other parents were at least 10-15 years younger. The daily physical grind of trying to keep all the balls in the air was much more difficult than it had been with our youngest years before. My husband, who is older than I, was even called our youngest son's grandpa.
I got shook out of my self-inflicted, selfish, myopic crisis when I started to have a lot of health issues - and it forced me to open my eyes and see the very positive things that each day could bring when I decided to let go of concentrating on everything that I didn't have or like.
It's really all a matter of perspective. Each change I now see may be potentially disruptive and cause turmoil, but I am determined to try and confront them with as much of a positive attitude and zest for life and living as I can. I have found that having these kinds of thoughts now seems to make everything a lot easier to handle.
Maybe our MLC is telling us that we really just need to grow up and enjoy the life that we have. As the saying goes - LIFE is for the living.
Wow... so some of the meds might REALLY help?? I mean, the moodswings... (well, I don't really concider them mood swings). I'll be going along just fine, and then wham... EVERY little tiny thing just irritates the h**l out of me. I go to move something in the fridge & just pissed as hell because a different Item got put "away wrong" and is in the way... (stoooopid little tiny stuff like that) -- and I go ballistic.
Afterwards I'm always sorry. Or, when I'm having a hot flash.
Gosh, this last one I handled myself a little better, but there I am shirt off fans blowing on me, wanting to put an ice pack between my breasts... And hubby leans in real close (trying to help), and starts blowing on my chest. AAArrrrggghh!!.. I'm thinking... get the F**K away...if you dare touch me, I'm gonna scream my head off!
Instead, I say calmly (ha ha ha, thru gritted teeth.) "It is NOT helping honey. Actually, the heat coming off your head overrides any tiny bit of that hot air you're blowing on me." ... Then I said "Sorry. God, I hope this doesn't last long". Then he backed off, & went & got me some cold water. (Bless him for trying).
If HRT will help that kind of stuff??? maybe? I'm just on so many meds already (diabetes) that I do not want & cannot afford any more!...
But, to me, these symptoms differ greatly , from wanting that feeling of young & happy & sweet, nice person, I was way way way back then. (that's what I am thinking is the MLC part).
•Hot flashes, night sweats, coldness
•Irregular periods that can be heavy, light, shorter or longer cycles
•Difficulty sleeping either getting to sleep or staying asleep
•Mood changes, anxiety, depression, irritability
•Heart palpitations (if you experience any heart disturbances, always consult a physician)
•Dry skin and/or hair loss
•Loss of or decreased sexual desire
•Incontinence -- the inability to hold your urine
It also says these things can occur 10 to 15 years before actual menopause occurs.
Well I don't know what is wrong with me.... but I am not complaining here.... I am 45, I had an "experience" 3 yrs ago, but it was none of this....in fact the total opposite, I felt like I was 18 again . I still feel on top of the world.
The most I can relate to on this list would be: My periods are always regular but I did notice they are getting a little shorter, maybe every 26 days, not 28 (which is a symptom)...no difference in flow at all.
Mood changes - I never noticed Pms before in my life but in my 40's... it is true...I am more SENSITIVE during that timeframe... about 3-4 days before the onset....then I can feel it lifting from my psyche. I wanted more of my husband's attention, not less....
Sleep patterns never changed at all. That 8 months I was on some hormonal high...I hardly needed any sleep at all & my sex drive was insatiable (like a 20 yr old male) ....I felt like I was walking on the clouds- not a pain in my body.... dryness... I needed some of that- badly!!!
After that passed...now I am exactly the same as I was for our entire marriage - never needed lube pretty much but yeah - I need some forplay again.
Wheels65 said: From what I've seen those that never truly sowed any single life wild oats always think they've missed something
I believe this to be VERY VERY true.. IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN YOUR MARRAIGE. I have not been single since I was 14 yrs old... I never really wanted anyone else... BUT I DID have an overwhelming desire to go back in time and relive what I felt WE missed . I wanted my husband to be my affair partner. It WAS a little difficult for me when he couldn't keep up- I wanted him to be that 20 yr old horny young man. But we worked with it !
We've always had a great marraige though, I have always been very happy.
I learned he was not as happy as me, unfortunetely , due to my taking him for granted & he always wanted more sex. My Mid life crisis is the best thing that ever happened to us. I know this is not the normal story by any means. I wish I would have had it when I was 30!
I'd be happy one minute then the next I'd want to punch my husband. And we are happily married so I KNEW it was me not him. He is the sweetest guy who I love dearly. The more I read about menopause the more I became convinced that was what my problem was. Hence why I sucked it up and sought help in the form of hormone replacement.
My estrogen is fine which explains why I'm not having hot flashes (yet). According to my labs I'm still ovulating so my problems are related to low T and low progesterone. Progesterone is the happy hormone. Get low on that and you become quite *****y.
Symptoms of low progesterone are sleep disturbances, mood swings, irritability, anxiety, depression, increased cravings for carbs/sweets, PMS and water retention.
Symptoms of low testosterone are related to sex drive, mood, fatigure and weight gain.
Symptoms of low estrogen are hot flashes, night sweats, lack of mental clarity, dry skin, painful intercourse, thinning hair, headaches and heart palpitations.
This is just my first month and I asked my husband if he could tell a difference in me. I got a resounding YES from him. LOL
Mid-life crises affects everyone. There is no discrimination whether you are male or female. The best way to get it out from this crises is to reflect on your own. Some of the questions you can ask for yourself are as follows:
What is my life about?
Who am I?
What do I want?
How Can I get there now?
What am I grateful for?
How can I move toward more joy in my life?
Mid-life crises affects everyone. There is no discrimination whether you are male or female.
My husband said he had one before mine ...he was so quiet about it -I didn't know he was dealing with anything.... it was very tame... it was all about the kids growing up.......just the reality of our life going too fast, it was a bit of a depressive phase... (which he was never the type to be down about anything)...I recall him making some comments like that -back then...but it was a little deeper than he let on to me.... Then he says it passed.
I made a big Hoopla about mine, it was not Tame at all -it was a force to be reckoned with... buckle up & hang on for the ride !!
It must be a "bad phase" in life. Sometimes, we are pushed to unknown area or turbulent times. We need to take this challenge and always of "possibility". Think of "how can I come out of this challenge successfully?" What are the opportunities available?
Shall I change the way I look at life?
We need to find a way ourselves and put effort to overcome these challenges.