Mavash.

Thanks. My parents disowned me 13 years ago but I hear more than I care to about them from my sister. My mom is your classic enabler to my narcissistic dad. I was his narcissistic supply and therefore my mother loathed me for it. Yeah like that was my fault.

I feel pity for both of them now. I 'think' they committed my dad. He became a raging drunk who was threatening everyone including my mother and yet she stayed. I have no sympathy for her. She made that bed and now she must lie in it.

My sister is still caught in the middle and I have to keep reminding her I'm OUT of this family so stop telling me details. I seriously don't care anymore what happens to them.

Mavash.

SA the one thing I know about you is that you are extroverted. You were likely surrounded by some kind of support that did aid your recovery. I'm impressed that you overcame by just reading books.

I was a shy, introvert who had no one to vent to. I have been on my own since the age of 10. Until therapy I didn't even know books like that even existed. Now of course I've read 100's of them.

SimplyAmorous

On your own since the age of 10 !@#$%^.... how did that work ? I am not familiar with your story, who did you live with? Or maybe you meant alone.... emotionally.

True for me, I had a best best friend, her family, some other friends ..... then I met my husband at age 15.... My relationship with my best best friend was slowly going downhill, she was getting on with a wilder crowd, smoking pot, the partier type & this was not really my thing -plus my step mom would have killed me...

So the boyfriend kinda took her place... I couldn't ask for any better support than him - he's never let me down....... he was the shy introvert --but he came from a loving family, no issues. We were both very very good for each other.

When I hear so many say.... OH don't get into a relationshiop until all your baggage is gone, you know who you are ... . I just think to myself.. this is not always true, sometimes another can help you get on your feet and help you love yourself , find yourself even. That is what he did for me. And at the same time...I know I boosted his confidence as well. We built each other up.

Everybody needs somebody. Most of us have some dysfunction, that is pretty normal accually. Even once we find ourselves ... still some dysfunction remains. We're human afterall.

__________________
"Love Good Blog"

cherrypie18

You need to make time for yourself (away from kids and hubs) and do things that will make you feel good. Join the gym, take up a hobby, take courses, get a job...do something you will enjoy.
I used to think I was not good at anything or had no talent. Still haven't really figured out what my talent is (maybe I'm too critical) but I've found my passion in life and I'm building my skills. Next step will be getting a job in that field.
I wanted to be more than a mother and I'm working on getting there and I'm sure you will too. It took me a while to figure it out but you know "when where's a will there's a way".
Do not let anyone stop you from your dreams and for that you need to have self confidence. At this point I get the feeling you don't feel very good about yourself and you're too hard on yourself. Start doing yoga, if you can afford it get a private instructor who will come to your home. You will be amazed on how it works physically and mentally.

6kids&donecounting

I had my first session today and alot of things were made obvious to me and now I'll be looking into my childhood alot harder because that was the main thing we talked about today. This will not be a short road but I will get there. I feel alot better about myself now knowing the i'm not just "broken".

6kids&donecounting

Yes he is. He's actually been suggesting it for some time I just couldn't bring myself to go I didn't think I needed it.

6kids&donecounting

thanks . I know that broken feeling all too well and its not pleasant. I hope you'll find the support you'll need to get where you want to be.