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Old 04-03-2012, 04:01 PM   #46 (permalink)
Lon
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Default Re: Didn't love him when we got married

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Originally Posted by grenville View Post
Given the reception she got, I suspect not!
in which case there was nothing we could have written to help her anyway.
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Old 04-03-2012, 05:20 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: Didn't love him when we got married

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Originally Posted by Tall Average Guy View Post
Sorry, but this idea alone costs you a lot of credibility. The sacred aspect of marriage, the loyalty, feelings, etc. is in the heart of the participant? By your own statement his cheating does not matter, because she did not love him so there was no duty of loyalty. That is of course absurd. They both made a promise. That they did so under false pretenses does not excuse their decision to later break that promise.
I never said that, and that doesn't even make sense if you use logical deduction. Look exactly at what I wrote.
Someone called her marriage her most important, sacred relationship. It's not. Not by any stretch of the imagination. And it's not even a mystery as to why I would think that. It's a fact.
If they wanted to make it work, they would have.
Since they cheated, lied and abused - they obviously don't love each other. That's all I said.

I am saying that a relationship like that should end. I didn't say cheating in a relationship like that didn't count or was okay or anything like that.


What I am saying is she's an impostor and so is he. They are the reason divorce statistics are what they are.

Imagine hiring a civil engineer for your company. He builds a bridge, it collapses, and kills a bunch of people. You investigate. It turns out: He never went to a single class. His BS in Civil Engineering never existed.
Is your first thought to send him to a workshop to update his skills so he can fix the collapsed bridge? Do you think because he lied about being an engineer deep down there must be a true engineer in him? No, that's absurd.
You fire him and hire someone who actually went to university.
Nowhere in this scenario would it be legitimate for the guy to have lied about having been an engineer, but I can see how people are that false.
That's all I said.

And on a final note:
People who aren't committed to each other often cheat. I didn't come up with this, it's a brute fact. It exists independent of my behavior, of my knowledge and of anything I do.
That I say that out loud doesn't mean I condone it. You seriously cannot see the difference?

Last edited by AllThePrettyHorses; 04-03-2012 at 05:47 PM.
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Old 04-03-2012, 05:24 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Default Re: Didn't love him when we got married

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Originally Posted by Lon View Post
in which case there was nothing we could have written to help her anyway.
I rather meant the vehemence of some of the responses rather than the content specifically. This being the internet, not a carefully controlled group therapy session, she should have expected that of course.
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