I enjoy sports bars. That is where I prefer to go.
Many of my colleagues will come to my town and want to go to a Gentlemen's club. They are on a trip and want to let loose. They drop like $500 each there in the VIP room.
I do enjoy veiwing good looking women dance semi-nude. I do not like to interact with these particular women. I don't enjoy being hustled. My boundary is look but don't touch. The ladies will come by and try to cuddle up with the guys. Wiggle around a bit and try to talk them in the VIP room where the real money is made.
One guy was telling me the other day that he was ready to "settle up". He had $200 on him and she told him he owed her $450. He had to visit the ATM. I did not ask what was on his tab.
If a husband and wife are ok with it then cool. But I am not so sure ALL of the guys going tell their wives.
I enjoyed strip clubs before I was married as a young sailor. Of curse I commonly stood shore patrol duty in the hooker bars. I think I lost all allure of the "sex industry" back then. Now I pretty much hate them.
In many ways the strip clubs are safer than other places. Strip clubs are contrived for the male patrons. Male strippers are much more interactive with the female audience.
Private strip shows are often shows with prostituion services whether they are female or male. The clubs are very tame as compared to "private partys".
Explain to me then how far male fidelity and honesty go in a marriage. As far as the nearest strip club, I suppose.
I would love to be wrong in this, but like I said earlier, the sudden silence is deafening.
So at what point does titillation become more than just titillation? We could argue that all day, but we're never going to agree. A woman grinding on my husband after he's paid her to do so is NOT ok with me. Him reading erotica to me or watching porn on TV while he screws me is.
Strip clubs are worse to me than non internet porn because they're live. Thankfully my hubby agrees with me so it isn't an issue for us. If you as a guy think strip clubs are OK then find a wife who agrees. If you as a woman think they aren't ok then find a hubby like mine who agrees. The sides are just too far apart here to ever meet, as all the strip club threads on here can attest to.
I think I will copy this post somewhere so I don't have to type it all out again the next time this comes up.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
I suppose all the men on here who assure they're faithful don't even think that getting the occasional BJ at a strip club is infidelity, then. How sad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses
Explain to me then how far male fidelity and honesty goes in a marriage. As far as the strip club, I suppose.
I would love to be wrong in this, but like I said earlier, the sudden silence is deafening.
Yes you are wrong.
You take a position that all men here are unfaithful, dishonest, and don't believe a blowjob is cheating.
I could explain to you what faithful means to me.
I could explain to you what my marriage vows mean to me.
I could explain to you what honesty and openness in my marriage means to me.
But you won't believe it. You would rather hurl the insults than try and understand.
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
You take a position that all men here are unfaithful, dishonest, and don't believe a blowjob is cheating.
I could explain to you what faithful means to me.
I could explain to you what my marriage vows mean to me.
I could explain to you what honesty and openness in my marriage means to me.
But you won't believe it. You would rather hurl the insults than try and understand.
No, I don't. I am glad you came to say what you said, because it made me a bit less hopeless.
You're wrong, I do not want to believe that everybody is unfaithful. It's just something I am terrified off. And if I hurled insults, I take it back. I don't see where I did it, but I am sorry if I did.
Thanks for replying. I am glad you wrote.
I haven't been in a strip club in over a decade. But when I went, it was usually because I was horribly lonely. I went because at the time I felt it was the only way I could get a mostly naked woman to pay attention to me. I'm sure most cases weren't as extreme as mine was, but I believe that that feeling of desirability by an attractive woman is an element of why most men go to strip clubs. It can be a huge ego boost. In the ones I went to, if a dancer thought she could get an extra $20 or just wanted to take a break, she would sit with me for 20 minutes, just chatting. Having a pretty girl talk to me was a big enough thrill. But to have her naked... Yeah, that was worth an extra $20. Posted via Mobile Device
Explain to me then how far male fidelity and honesty goes in a marriage. As far as the strip club, I suppose.
I would love to be wrong in this, but like I said earlier, the sudden silence is deafening.
I can speak for myself. I do not like strip clubs.
A couple of years back I was talking to my wife about some possible plans for my trip. I explained to her what might go down. Which was that it was possible one evening that the group would be headed for a Gentlemen's club after dinner and drinks. I matter of factly told her, I dd not feel comfortable going and that I would bow out the best I could. Take a taxi back to the hotel. In no way was I even going to suggest to her that I wanted to go. But she surpised me.
She told me that it was not right for me to bow out but that she trusted me to go and not cross any boundaries. That made me feel profoundly good. Not to go but that my wife trusted me in that situation. She is not ok with lap dances. Even if she was my personal boundaries do not allow for it.
In my case it is less about peer pressure and more about hardball business politics. I do not want to sacrifice integrity for a promotion. So this calls for very firm boundaries.
All in all I bow out when it is reasonable to do so. So I guess I could make a show of it and wait in the car all night or go in, have some drinks, watch the dancers and feel awkward.
Keep in mind I view women clubbing with other men a lot more dangerous and unfaithful than a strip club.
Tell me a bachelorette party is less wild than a bachelor party ... these days.
So if I were as cynical I guess female fidelity goes as far as the nearest dance club or bar. I do not in anyway think in those terms. That is very jaded to me.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 03-28-2012 at 06:19 PM.
I don't get how paying someone to pretend to like you is an ego boost? It's not like they give a crap about who they talk to as long as there's money involved. So weird. Posted via Mobile Device
I understand horses and hope your aversion to strip clubs...and thats alright, to each their own.
but your making a lot of genreralizations about men and the why they go there and for what and what goes on.
ive been to many, for bachlor parties or guys night out. and each time NOT ONCE have i ever thought of doing anything with a stripper. NOT ONCE. not even when i was a horny 19 year old with money to burn.
but then again i understand why im their and why they are there.
as a matter of fact ive a had a few friends work as strippers, one at the famous lusty lady in san fran.
and she told me that being a stipper is no different than being a waitress, its just the goods that are different. thats where i got my point of view. and i used to wait tables so the analogy is quite close.
doind what they do for tips is not prostitiution no more than serving you an ice T for a few bucks. its provididng a service. one is food, the other is visual stimulation. yes you could get similar to porn or a magazine, but wheres the fun in that.
and why go there as opposed to a sports bar? because boobs are awesome!!!!
seriously, they are. id rather watch a nice booty than a ball game anyday of the week.
that may make me a perv, and thats fine. why should i hide what i like, just like why should you hide what you dont like.
and dont kid yourself.
a person can cheat at a strip club just as esily as he can at work or his local starbucks.
ITS WITHIN THE MAN TO BREAK BOUNDRIES TO CHEAT, NOT THE LOCATION WHERE HES AT.
read that again.
if hes going to cheat, hes going to cheat no matter what.
i am lucky that my wife trusts me, and shes been with me in that scenario and knows how harmless they are and that she has no fear of me doing anything.
forget the fact that she cheated on me with a coworker...not a stripper in sight, but she cheated.
if yo dont like them, thats cool. if you dont wnat your man going there, thats cool too. its not for everyone. explain why. and let him make his own decision. because if you deny him, he'll want to go more than you can imagine.
but seriously. the better strip clubs are harmless. except for the big guy at the door. you dont want him in your face.
If strip clubs are the innocent attractions most men say they are, then why do guys go to them instead of a sports bar with their buddies? Why do they exist? To titillate men is why they exist. And women I suppose. Same as porn.
You know its interesting. I have been to strip clubs and often ask myself the same question. I really do not find it interesting at all. When I was younger and hadn't seen as much of the world maybe it was interesting to see women live and naked. But after I grew up I realized okay they are naked. So?
I really think that most men who frequent strip clubs are the ones that aren't in relationships and need a little live stimulation. I suppose its also a place for bachelor parties and the like. I honestly don't think that married men tend grace strip clubs very often. Frankly, I'd rather go to a sporting event.
You know its interesting. I have been to strip clubs and often ask myself the same question. I really do not find it interesting at all. When I was younger and hadn't seen as much of the world maybe it was interesting to see women live and naked. But after I grew up I realized okay they are naked. So?
I really think that most men who frequent strip clubs are the ones that aren't in relationships and need a little live stimulation. I suppose its also a place for bachelor parties and the like. I honestly don't think that married men tend grace strip clubs very often. Frankly, I'd rather go to a sporting event.
I don't get how paying someone to pretend to like you is an ego boost? It's not like they give a crap about who they talk to as long as there's money involved. So weird. Posted via Mobile Device
Yeah, I don't understand the ego boost thing but I have heard that. I suppose its where you are in your life. I really feel for people who are so desperate that they have to go to that extreme for human companionship. I wish there was more outreach for our lonely and depressed brothers and sisters. Yes I went there.
Am I being hostile? I didn't think so, and like I said, I am truly sorry if I was. I certainly didn't mean to put anyone down.
Your posts just seemed very angry. You seemed to be hurting. If so, I am sorry and send you positive thoughts. Heck, I send you positive thoughts anyway.
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs?? 
