ive been to many, for bachlor parties or guys night out. and each time NOT ONCE have i ever thought of doing anything with a stripper. NOT ONCE. not even when i was a horny 19 year old with money to burn.
but then again i understand why im their and why they are there.
My husband is also like this, I doubt many would believe it -because so many are convinced it is not possible....I asked him a few times if he has EVER thought of his favorite stripper , having sex with her, or while he was making love to me.
He knows he can tell me ANYTHING, and I do mean ANYTHING
....I personally don't have a problem with a little fantasy...and he swears NEVER, on the life of our children even....it is only about me. I told him I was not "that good". So he has no reason to lie ...to save face.
Everyone talks about going to a Sports Bar, we don't even know what that is, my husband hates sports, so do I. I've never had a beer, neither of us has ever walked into a bar and got drunk in our entire lives. He likes women dancing.... is it such a crime to get a little thrill ? Obviously to many.
Personally I am overjoyed my husband prefers some erotica over sports.... You couldn't even pay us to go to a Football game or Hockey or anything, we would be bored out of our minds. He hates to even be around a bunch of men going on about that stuff, he has nothing to contribute to the conversation.
I want to say something here..... We all speak out of our own experiences ....believe me, I am very capable of being a "jealous" woman... if I even thought for a minute my husband was crossing some line IN HIS HEART
for another...that he was getting addicted, that he needed this type of stimulation to be with me....do you think I would be fool enough to allow us to keep going there ?? I may be many things, but when it comes to love, I am pretty demanding of being treated right.
The 2nd time we went (always with a little group of friends)... we did have a little talk the next day...... I felt a little "slighted"... one thing we do is talk...even the littlest thing.... we sat on our swing outside & explored every thought of how this could be bad, unhealthy, how does he feel...how did I feel...we dug deep.... I was being sensitive the night before...he felt we'd likely never go back & he was "taking it all in" (his words)...he never lied to me about his enjoying the scenery and I wouldn't have wanted him too.
I just wanted him to sit a little closer to me, touch my arm, talk a little more (he is not the biggest talker around), we had our friends there too... He was very willing to never go back again...saying he didn't want to do ANYTHING to hurt me...It was me who wanted to go again, so he could make it up to me.... I enjoy seeing him enjoy himself, he deserves it -he is the best of men. We sat closer, he talked to me a little more , like I was on his arm.. It was all good. The strippers would comment how they liked to see married couples come in.
My husand has never been to a Bachelor party in his life, 90% of our friends are too conservative, he never got to experience any of these things in his youth like most younger men.... I was rather prudish back then & would have likely taken his balls off. I even equated Strippers as near Prositutes.... I knew nothing of that world -nor did I want to know. I hate to even admit this... but if I heard on the news that a stripper got raped... in my head.. I felt she "deserved it"...... I had no care for such people, they were the ruination of every man, scum of the earth, I felt I was "better" somehow.
It was accually a learning experience for me... to walk into a place like that.. and get to KNOW, sit & listen to some of these young women....their hopes, their dreams, some really took the time & opened up to us. Considering my prudish past ...it was good for ME to see these girls as real people somehow, with real lives, and real emotions... I was ashamed of myself for the way I used to think.... I needed to see the human side as well. Most of those girls were in College, just wanting to pay their schooling off. One was 38, she was a School Teacher -very intelligent -I was blown away about how articulate she was -who was putting her son through college. A friend of ours started dating her. ONe was in the middle of a divorce, she had 3 kids, this gave her $$ to get away from her bad husband- she did not like doing this job. One was abandoned by her father, never knew him, very insecure but you would never know it to see her dance...she was breathtaking... She was the big hit there.
We also became friends with a man who was there every weekend -he was in a sexless marraige ...he was very open with us, he envied what we had, saying he would never be there had he had what "we had" ....he seemd so happy to meet us, he seemed to need some friends, he was also not a drinker.. he had no illusions about what a stripper wants, this is just a business transaction. But even in knowing that, becaus of the emptiness of his life...he still found himself near addicted to one & wasted so much $$ on her, it did hurt him...he knew better but...still he knew he was NOTHING to her. He bought my husband a birthday dinner...
There was sadness in that place... towards the end, we just knew it was not a place for us.....we would never go back . It was not our scene, nor did it ever need to be. But again.. I don't reget the experience, from meeting these women, to making a friend with the man who shed so much light on the stripper club life... I felt I gained a perspective that I otherwise would never have had...
Should all these places he closed down? if so, it would only go under ground and not be regulated, like everything else.. is that the answer? I don't know.