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post #61 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 07:44 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
So at what point does titillation become more than just titillation? We could argue that all day, but we're never going to agree. A woman grinding on my husband after he's paid her to do so is NOT ok with me. Him reading erotica to me or watching porn on TV while he screws me is.

Strip clubs are worse to me than non internet porn because they're live. Thankfully my hubby agrees with me so it isn't an issue for us. If you as a guy think strip clubs are OK then find a wife who agrees. If you as a woman think they aren't ok then find a hubby like mine who agrees. The sides are just too far apart here to ever meet, as all the strip club threads on here can attest to.

I think I will copy this post somewhere so I don't have to type it all out again the next time this comes up.
I actually think its a matter of boundaries and trust. Morrigan knows I would never lower my boundaries in a strip club (or anywhere else for that matter). I really never drank much when I went. I would never even take the slightest chance of compromising my judgement. Frankly the drinks were overpriced and watered down anyway. I really don't do internet porn either. I know in my case the only reason I even agreed to go to a strip club was because it was with other guys and it was a male bonding thing. At least when I was younger. Not much male bonding occurs in internet porn. At least none I want to be a part of. I just don't have much use for either indulgences to be honest.
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post #62 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 07:48 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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Originally Posted by diwali123 View Post
I don't get how paying someone to pretend to like you is an ego boost? It's not like they give a crap about who they talk to as long as there's money involved. So weird.
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I don't get it either. It is a total turnoff to me.

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post #63 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 07:53 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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I understand horses and hope your aversion to strip clubs...and thats alright, to each their own.

but your making a lot of genreralizations about men and the why they go there and for what and what goes on.

ive been to many, for bachlor parties or guys night out. and each time NOT ONCE have i ever thought of doing anything with a stripper. NOT ONCE. not even when i was a horny 19 year old with money to burn.

but then again i understand why im their and why they are there.

as a matter of fact ive a had a few friends work as strippers, one at the famous lusty lady in san fran.

and she told me that being a stipper is no different than being a waitress, its just the goods that are different. thats where i got my point of view. and i used to wait tables so the analogy is quite close.

doind what they do for tips is not prostitiution no more than serving you an ice T for a few bucks. its provididng a service. one is food, the other is visual stimulation. yes you could get similar to porn or a magazine, but wheres the fun in that.

and why go there as opposed to a sports bar? because boobs are awesome!!!!


seriously, they are. id rather watch a nice booty than a ball game anyday of the week.

that may make me a perv, and thats fine. why should i hide what i like, just like why should you hide what you dont like.


and dont kid yourself.

a person can cheat at a strip club just as esily as he can at work or his local starbucks.

ITS WITHIN THE MAN TO BREAK BOUNDRIES TO CHEAT, NOT THE LOCATION WHERE HES AT.

read that again.

if hes going to cheat, hes going to cheat no matter what.

i am lucky that my wife trusts me, and shes been with me in that scenario and knows how harmless they are and that she has no fear of me doing anything.


forget the fact that she cheated on me with a coworker...not a stripper in sight, but she cheated.


if yo dont like them, thats cool. if you dont wnat your man going there, thats cool too. its not for everyone. explain why. and let him make his own decision. because if you deny him, he'll want to go more than you can imagine.




but seriously. the better strip clubs are harmless. except for the big guy at the door. you dont want him in your face.
This is the same argument the ladies who go out dancing at the clubs say. If they wanted to cheat they could cheat at starbucks. Venue does matter. The situation and circumstance does matter. All you are saying is that you have a resistance to it. Fine.
But it is not the same tempation as at starbucks. That is disengenuous at best.

I mean you may not cheat if thrown in bed with three naked hotties. Good for you. But that is a bigger temptations at least than my local starbucks.

The better clubs have a bigger risk than some but they are just better at the game. When we say no sex what do we mean? No penetration? Or are you including grinding to climax, handjobs and BJs and so on.

That said I agree I have boundaries I will not cross. So I get that. But a Gentlemen's club is not the same as a sports bar.

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Last edited by Entropy3000; 03-28-2012 at 07:59 PM.
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post #64 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 09:36 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

No a sports bar and a stip club aren't the same. Thank god. I like the entertainment at the strip club better.

When I've gone to the nudie bar, I go with a bunch of married guys. We enjoy the view for sure. And we've talked about what it scenarios. And none of us would cheat.

Why? Because were happy and satisfied at home. And the risk isn't worth it.

Sure the fact that the place is set up in a sexual tho cheesy way is one thing. And sure the women are already naked. But that doesn't mean anything is automatic.

And why pay to cheat. That's kinda lame. If that's the case, your man was gonna cheat anyway.

As for what constitutes cheating. Well there's a whole section for that on TAM. But physical intimate contact from kissing, handy j's bj's etc would be considered cheating in my book. I don't think lap dances are cheating. You may and that's up to you. But as erotic as they can be they also seem kinda clinical to me. I'm lucky that my wife agreed with me on that one. And for the record if we went again and SHE got a lap dance. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It'd actually be kinda hot.

And if a guy climaxes from a strippers bump and grind. Well to me that's just seems problematic for a whole host of other reasons.


I do wonder what happens at a woman's strip club. I doubt it's the kinda stuff you see on dancingbear tho. But I could be wrong.
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post #65 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 11:50 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
If strip clubs are the innocent attractions most men say they are, then why do guys go to them instead of a sports bar with their buddies? Why do they exist? To titillate men is why they exist. And women I suppose. Same as porn.
Myself and the guys I knew when I was into the bar scene would 8-9 times out of 10 go to a sports bar or a club with live music rather than a strip joint.And you just suppose they exist for women as well?Let me tell you that where I live in Toronto,women patrons are a mainstay for a lot of strip clubs.In clubs where there are separate venues for both men and women,I'm sure the female customers outnumber males by at least a 3-1 ratio and believe me they are louder and more touchy-feely than most of the men I've ever seen.Just sayin'.

"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis
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post #66 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 12:18 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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No a sports bar and a stip club aren't the same. Thank god. I like the entertainment at the strip club better.

When I've gone to the nudie bar, I go with a bunch of married guys. We enjoy the view for sure. And we've talked about what it scenarios. And none of us would cheat.

Why? Because were happy and satisfied at home. And the risk isn't worth it.

Sure the fact that the place is set up in a sexual tho cheesy way is one thing. And sure the women are already naked. But that doesn't mean anything is automatic.

And why pay to cheat. That's kinda lame. If that's the case, your man was gonna cheat anyway.

As for what constitutes cheating. Well there's a whole section for that on TAM. But physical intimate contact from kissing, handy j's bj's etc would be considered cheating in my book. I don't think lap dances are cheating. You may and that's up to you. But as erotic as they can be they also seem kinda clinical to me. I'm lucky that my wife agreed with me on that one. And for the record if we went again and SHE got a lap dance. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It'd actually be kinda hot.

And if a guy climaxes from a strippers bump and grind. Well to me that's just seems problematic for a whole host of other reasons.


I do wonder what happens at a woman's strip club. I doubt it's the kinda stuff you see on dancingbear tho. But I could be wrong.
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Yes I see lap dances as cheating for me. That is a personal thing. That said I think a lap dance is much the same as grinding on the dance floor and many folks think that is just fine. So if a guys wife can be out clubbing and dancing that way with other men I would say the husband should be able to have his time in the VIP room.

Dancingbear is a porn site but I undertand some of that happens in some private parties. Not a party I would want my wife joining in on. The Thunder Down Under kind of show is fairly tame. The thing is women get way more wild and raunchy than the guys do. Men are more cool aboutthe whole thing in general. Part of this is that men have to be careful about touching where as the male strippers are trying to get the women to touch them. The lotion in the woman's hands and rubbing of that lotion on the chest abs and below in not uncommon. So thatis a tad different. I have no idea how common the HJs and BJs are. It only takes one chick out of the crowd to take it to that level. Maybe even a plant to loosen the women up.

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post #67 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 02:15 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

Grinding on other people when you're married isn't cheating?

Wow.


Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
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post #68 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 04:40 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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Grinding on other people when you're married isn't cheating?

Wow.
thats an idividual thing,

but for us, no.

we see it as entertainment. nothing more. not there to get off on it, but the dancer is putting on a show. and that show is her usisng her sexuality, sensuality and eroticism.




ill put this another way.

we once played a drinking game. anther wife pulled a card, and the ladies had to come up with a dare or something. (we were drunk so i dont remember the game specifics) anyway, she ended up giving a 1 min "lap dance" to the other 3 husbands there. it was fun and funny. and none of us were cheating.

now if for you, its a deal breaker, then express that to you man. but not everybody sees it the same way.

a strip club is enterainment. thats all. when you go there, you not obligated to get a lap dance, or sit next to the stage. heck, your not obligated to tip, but it is like common courtesy. they are entertainment venues.



now the "strip clubs" in thailand...whole nother story. and those i wouldnt go near.
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post #69 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 05:31 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

Been to a tity bar once or twice in my life and don't remember anything going on other than dancing and striping.

My wife wants to take me to one sometime in the near future. Her idea not mine. I told her I thought it would be fun for me to see her get a lap dance. I'll post about it if we ever get around to it.
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post #70 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 05:39 AM
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she called him up on stage and did a very provocative dance for him then laid him on the stage and sat on him and grinded him til he had a...ehem, happy ending with everyone there.
This would freak me out! I have to say, I'm glad my hubby isn't interested in strip clubs.

Once, when we were just friends, I tried to get him to take me to one, and he said, "pfffft, what a waste of money!"

LoL I gotta admit. It was a great answer!
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post #71 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 07:33 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

Strip clubs never did much for me. Maybe when I was about 21-22 and single. The last time I went was years ago with a buddy of mine before I married, the only thing I can say is, I felt sorry for the girls that worked there, other than that it did nothing for me.

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post #72 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 09:01 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

I've been to a few. They are ok. Maybe once every 1-2 years I go, and then remember why I don't go very often.

Everytime I go I see either anorexic, or slightly overweight non attractive girls dancing. On the few occasions I have seen an attractive dance, she is either way to full of herself (huge turn off) or every guy in the place is trying to get to her, and I don't feel like watching a **** fight.

I see extremely needy (for $$$) girls annoying the hell outta me for private dances, and I tend to end up avoiding them like the plague.

Drinks are usually stupid exspensive. Lap dances, are a phucking joke! I've never heard of any of the dancers offering more then a dance. In all my experiences they are after $$$ plain and simple. the quicker they get your $$$ the quicker they leave, and find the next sucker.

The only good thing is by the end of the night when I ready to go home to my wife (who is more often then not, way hotter) I am ready to tear her apart! But I also don't need strippers for that either. I am always ready to tear my wife apart, i usually have a hard time keeping my hands off her.

When my wife and i first started dating she really didn't have an issue with it (again, I didn't go very often, and always told her) the last time I went she seemed upset over it. I havn't been to one since.

On NYE my wife had a little to much to drink and gave me my own private dance, and it was WAY better then anything I have ever paid for, and I got to touch the goods!
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post #73 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 09:04 AM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

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ive been to many, for bachlor parties or guys night out. and each time NOT ONCE have i ever thought of doing anything with a stripper. NOT ONCE. not even when i was a horny 19 year old with money to burn.

but then again i understand why im their and why they are there.
My husband is also like this, I doubt many would believe it -because so many are convinced it is not possible....I asked him a few times if he has EVER thought of his favorite stripper , having sex with her, or while he was making love to me. He knows he can tell me ANYTHING, and I do mean ANYTHING....I personally don't have a problem with a little fantasy...and he swears NEVER, on the life of our children even....it is only about me. I told him I was not "that good". So he has no reason to lie ...to save face.

Everyone talks about going to a Sports Bar, we don't even know what that is, my husband hates sports, so do I. I've never had a beer, neither of us has ever walked into a bar and got drunk in our entire lives. He likes women dancing.... is it such a crime to get a little thrill ? Obviously to many.

Personally I am overjoyed my husband prefers some erotica over sports.... You couldn't even pay us to go to a Football game or Hockey or anything, we would be bored out of our minds. He hates to even be around a bunch of men going on about that stuff, he has nothing to contribute to the conversation.

I want to say something here..... We all speak out of our own experiences ....believe me, I am very capable of being a "jealous" woman... if I even thought for a minute my husband was crossing some line IN HIS HEART for another...that he was getting addicted, that he needed this type of stimulation to be with me....do you think I would be fool enough to allow us to keep going there ?? I may be many things, but when it comes to love, I am pretty demanding of being treated right.

The 2nd time we went (always with a little group of friends)... we did have a little talk the next day...... I felt a little "slighted"... one thing we do is talk...even the littlest thing.... we sat on our swing outside & explored every thought of how this could be bad, unhealthy, how does he feel...how did I feel...we dug deep.... I was being sensitive the night before...he felt we'd likely never go back & he was "taking it all in" (his words)...he never lied to me about his enjoying the scenery and I wouldn't have wanted him too.

I just wanted him to sit a little closer to me, touch my arm, talk a little more (he is not the biggest talker around), we had our friends there too... He was very willing to never go back again...saying he didn't want to do ANYTHING to hurt me...It was me who wanted to go again, so he could make it up to me.... I enjoy seeing him enjoy himself, he deserves it -he is the best of men. We sat closer, he talked to me a little more , like I was on his arm.. It was all good. The strippers would comment how they liked to see married couples come in.

My husand has never been to a Bachelor party in his life, 90% of our friends are too conservative, he never got to experience any of these things in his youth like most younger men.... I was rather prudish back then & would have likely taken his balls off. I even equated Strippers as near Prositutes.... I knew nothing of that world -nor did I want to know. I hate to even admit this... but if I heard on the news that a stripper got raped... in my head.. I felt she "deserved it"...... I had no care for such people, they were the ruination of every man, scum of the earth, I felt I was "better" somehow.

It was accually a learning experience for me... to walk into a place like that.. and get to KNOW, sit & listen to some of these young women....their hopes, their dreams, some really took the time & opened up to us. Considering my prudish past ...it was good for ME to see these girls as real people somehow, with real lives, and real emotions... I was ashamed of myself for the way I used to think.... I needed to see the human side as well. Most of those girls were in College, just wanting to pay their schooling off. One was 38, she was a School Teacher -very intelligent -I was blown away about how articulate she was -who was putting her son through college. A friend of ours started dating her. ONe was in the middle of a divorce, she had 3 kids, this gave her $$ to get away from her bad husband- she did not like doing this job. One was abandoned by her father, never knew him, very insecure but you would never know it to see her dance...she was breathtaking... She was the big hit there.

We also became friends with a man who was there every weekend -he was in a sexless marraige ...he was very open with us, he envied what we had, saying he would never be there had he had what "we had" ....he seemd so happy to meet us, he seemed to need some friends, he was also not a drinker.. he had no illusions about what a stripper wants, this is just a business transaction. But even in knowing that, becaus of the emptiness of his life...he still found himself near addicted to one & wasted so much $$ on her, it did hurt him...he knew better but...still he knew he was NOTHING to her. He bought my husband a birthday dinner...

There was sadness in that place... towards the end, we just knew it was not a place for us.....we would never go back . It was not our scene, nor did it ever need to be. But again.. I don't reget the experience, from meeting these women, to making a friend with the man who shed so much light on the stripper club life... I felt I gained a perspective that I otherwise would never have had...

Should all these places he closed down? if so, it would only go under ground and not be regulated, like everything else.. is that the answer? I don't know.
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post #74 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

WOW! A whole lot of posts! Great insights!

Personally speaking, I find that with the men I know (my H included) when they plan a bachelor part and go to these place, they totally TRY to act like it's no big deal.. but I can tell they are giddy as little boys sneaking a peak!

Re-living their younger days (21-30) I suppose? Not to say women may not do the same, heard of women going much crazier over going to these clubs!

Goes to show, entertainment is entertainment ... even when they are in poor taste!
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post #75 of 189 (permalink) Old 03-29-2012, 01:44 PM
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Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs??

here is a pic of a strip club, apparently it gets a bit wild, and i have no idea what the guys are doing there

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