Your posts just seemed very angry. You seemed to be hurting. If so, I am sorry and send you positive thoughts. Heck, I send you positive thoughts anyway.
It's funny you should say that, people often think I am angry, even if I talk face to face to them about something entirely innocuous, like a scientific discovery, or something similar.
Thanks for the positive thoughts!
So at what point does titillation become more than just titillation? We could argue that all day, but we're never going to agree. A woman grinding on my husband after he's paid her to do so is NOT ok with me. Him reading erotica to me or watching porn on TV while he screws me is.
Strip clubs are worse to me than non internet porn because they're live. Thankfully my hubby agrees with me so it isn't an issue for us. If you as a guy think strip clubs are OK then find a wife who agrees. If you as a woman think they aren't ok then find a hubby like mine who agrees. The sides are just too far apart here to ever meet, as all the strip club threads on here can attest to.
I think I will copy this post somewhere so I don't have to type it all out again the next time this comes up.
I actually think its a matter of boundaries and trust. Morrigan knows I would never lower my boundaries in a strip club (or anywhere else for that matter). I really never drank much when I went. I would never even take the slightest chance of compromising my judgement. Frankly the drinks were overpriced and watered down anyway. I really don't do internet porn either. I know in my case the only reason I even agreed to go to a strip club was because it was with other guys and it was a male bonding thing. At least when I was younger. Not much male bonding occurs in internet porn. At least none I want to be a part of. I just don't have much use for either indulgences to be honest.
I don't get how paying someone to pretend to like you is an ego boost? It's not like they give a crap about who they talk to as long as there's money involved. So weird. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't get it either. It is a total turnoff to me.
I understand horses and hope your aversion to strip clubs...and thats alright, to each their own.
but your making a lot of genreralizations about men and the why they go there and for what and what goes on.
ive been to many, for bachlor parties or guys night out. and each time NOT ONCE have i ever thought of doing anything with a stripper. NOT ONCE. not even when i was a horny 19 year old with money to burn.
but then again i understand why im their and why they are there.
as a matter of fact ive a had a few friends work as strippers, one at the famous lusty lady in san fran.
and she told me that being a stipper is no different than being a waitress, its just the goods that are different. thats where i got my point of view. and i used to wait tables so the analogy is quite close.
doind what they do for tips is not prostitiution no more than serving you an ice T for a few bucks. its provididng a service. one is food, the other is visual stimulation. yes you could get similar to porn or a magazine, but wheres the fun in that.
and why go there as opposed to a sports bar? because boobs are awesome!!!!
seriously, they are. id rather watch a nice booty than a ball game anyday of the week.
that may make me a perv, and thats fine. why should i hide what i like, just like why should you hide what you dont like.
and dont kid yourself.
a person can cheat at a strip club just as esily as he can at work or his local starbucks.
ITS WITHIN THE MAN TO BREAK BOUNDRIES TO CHEAT, NOT THE LOCATION WHERE HES AT.
read that again.
if hes going to cheat, hes going to cheat no matter what.
i am lucky that my wife trusts me, and shes been with me in that scenario and knows how harmless they are and that she has no fear of me doing anything.
forget the fact that she cheated on me with a coworker...not a stripper in sight, but she cheated.
if yo dont like them, thats cool. if you dont wnat your man going there, thats cool too. its not for everyone. explain why. and let him make his own decision. because if you deny him, he'll want to go more than you can imagine.
but seriously. the better strip clubs are harmless. except for the big guy at the door. you dont want him in your face.
This is the same argument the ladies who go out dancing at the clubs say. If they wanted to cheat they could cheat at starbucks. Venue does matter. The situation and circumstance does matter. All you are saying is that you have a resistance to it. Fine.
But it is not the same tempation as at starbucks. That is disengenuous at best.
I mean you may not cheat if thrown in bed with three naked hotties. Good for you. But that is a bigger temptations at least than my local starbucks.
The better clubs have a bigger risk than some but they are just better at the game. When we say no sex what do we mean? No penetration? Or are you including grinding to climax, handjobs and BJs and so on.
That said I agree I have boundaries I will not cross. So I get that. But a Gentlemen's club is not the same as a sports bar.
No a sports bar and a stip club aren't the same. Thank god. I like the entertainment at the strip club better.
When I've gone to the nudie bar, I go with a bunch of married guys. We enjoy the view for sure. And we've talked about what it scenarios. And none of us would cheat.
Why? Because were happy and satisfied at home. And the risk isn't worth it.
Sure the fact that the place is set up in a sexual tho cheesy way is one thing. And sure the women are already naked. But that doesn't mean anything is automatic.
And why pay to cheat. That's kinda lame. If that's the case, your man was gonna cheat anyway.
As for what constitutes cheating. Well there's a whole section for that on TAM. But physical intimate contact from kissing, handy j's bj's etc would be considered cheating in my book. I don't think lap dances are cheating. You may and that's up to you. But as erotic as they can be they also seem kinda clinical to me. I'm lucky that my wife agreed with me on that one. And for the record if we went again and SHE got a lap dance. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It'd actually be kinda hot.
And if a guy climaxes from a strippers bump and grind. Well to me that's just seems problematic for a whole host of other reasons.
I do wonder what happens at a woman's strip club. I doubt it's the kinda stuff you see on dancingbear tho. But I could be wrong. Posted via Mobile Device
If strip clubs are the innocent attractions most men say they are, then why do guys go to them instead of a sports bar with their buddies? Why do they exist? To titillate men is why they exist. And women I suppose. Same as porn.
Myself and the guys I knew when I was into the bar scene would 8-9 times out of 10 go to a sports bar or a club with live music rather than a strip joint.And you just suppose they exist for women as well?Let me tell you that where I live in Toronto,women patrons are a mainstay for a lot of strip clubs.In clubs where there are separate venues for both men and women,I'm sure the female customers outnumber males by at least a 3-1 ratio and believe me they are louder and more touchy-feely than most of the men I've ever seen.Just sayin'.
No a sports bar and a stip club aren't the same. Thank god. I like the entertainment at the strip club better.
When I've gone to the nudie bar, I go with a bunch of married guys. We enjoy the view for sure. And we've talked about what it scenarios. And none of us would cheat.
Why? Because were happy and satisfied at home. And the risk isn't worth it.
Sure the fact that the place is set up in a sexual tho cheesy way is one thing. And sure the women are already naked. But that doesn't mean anything is automatic.
And why pay to cheat. That's kinda lame. If that's the case, your man was gonna cheat anyway.
As for what constitutes cheating. Well there's a whole section for that on TAM. But physical intimate contact from kissing, handy j's bj's etc would be considered cheating in my book. I don't think lap dances are cheating. You may and that's up to you. But as erotic as they can be they also seem kinda clinical to me. I'm lucky that my wife agreed with me on that one. And for the record if we went again and SHE got a lap dance. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It'd actually be kinda hot.
And if a guy climaxes from a strippers bump and grind. Well to me that's just seems problematic for a whole host of other reasons.
I do wonder what happens at a woman's strip club. I doubt it's the kinda stuff you see on dancingbear tho. But I could be wrong. Posted via Mobile Device
Yes I see lap dances as cheating for me. That is a personal thing. That said I think a lap dance is much the same as grinding on the dance floor and many folks think that is just fine. So if a guys wife can be out clubbing and dancing that way with other men I would say the husband should be able to have his time in the VIP room.
Dancingbear is a porn site but I undertand some of that happens in some private parties. Not a party I would want my wife joining in on. The Thunder Down Under kind of show is fairly tame. The thing is women get way more wild and raunchy than the guys do. Men are more cool aboutthe whole thing in general. Part of this is that men have to be careful about touching where as the male strippers are trying to get the women to touch them. The lotion in the woman's hands and rubbing of that lotion on the chest abs and below in not uncommon. So thatis a tad different. I have no idea how common the HJs and BJs are. It only takes one chick out of the crowd to take it to that level. Maybe even a plant to loosen the women up.
No a sports bar and a stip club aren't the same. Thank god. I like the entertainment at the strip club better.
When I've gone to the nudie bar, I go with a bunch of married guys. We enjoy the view for sure. And we've talked about what it scenarios. And none of us would cheat.
Why? Because were happy and satisfied at home. And the risk isn't worth it.
Sure the fact that the place is set up in a sexual tho cheesy way is one thing. And sure the women are already naked. But that doesn't mean anything is automatic.
And why pay to cheat. That's kinda lame. If that's the case, your man was gonna cheat anyway.
As for what constitutes cheating. Well there's a whole section for that on TAM. But physical intimate contact from kissing, handy j's bj's etc would be considered cheating in my book. I don't think lap dances are cheating. You may and that's up to you. But as erotic as they can be they also seem kinda clinical to me. I'm lucky that my wife agreed with me on that one. And for the record if we went again and SHE got a lap dance. I wouldn't consider that cheating. It'd actually be kinda hot.
And if a guy climaxes from a strippers bump and grind. Well to me that's just seems problematic for a whole host of other reasons.
I do wonder what happens at a woman's strip club. I doubt it's the kinda stuff you see on dancingbear tho. But I could be wrong. Posted via Mobile Device
I concur with everything you said. As long as it's alright within a couple's specific relationship, it's fine.
I also think if grinding against a stripper (or the other way around) is not cheating in a relationship, then that whole act isn't cheating and should go both ways: Meaning, dancing with another man and grinding a little should be fine for the woman in the relationship, too, then. Fun for everybody, not just one person.
And kissing, BJ's and HJ, they are cheating for most people, I think. What I was worried about was that some guys might think it's okay for them, so long nobody knows. And that is just toxic behavior for any relationship.
Grinding on other people when you're married isn't cheating?
Wow.
If a guy who is spoken for gets lap dances that involve grinding, the grinding should be on the table for both parties is all I am saying. And by other party I don't mean the stripper.
Grinding on other people when you're married isn't cheating?
Wow.
thats an idividual thing,
but for us, no.
we see it as entertainment. nothing more. not there to get off on it, but the dancer is putting on a show. and that show is her usisng her sexuality, sensuality and eroticism.
ill put this another way.
we once played a drinking game. anther wife pulled a card, and the ladies had to come up with a dare or something. (we were drunk so i dont remember the game specifics) anyway, she ended up giving a 1 min "lap dance" to the other 3 husbands there. it was fun and funny. and none of us were cheating.
now if for you, its a deal breaker, then express that to you man. but not everybody sees it the same way.
a strip club is enterainment. thats all. when you go there, you not obligated to get a lap dance, or sit next to the stage. heck, your not obligated to tip, but it is like common courtesy. they are entertainment venues.
now the "strip clubs" in thailand...whole nother story. and those i wouldnt go near.
Been to a tity bar once or twice in my life and don't remember anything going on other than dancing and striping.
My wife wants to take me to one sometime in the near future. Her idea not mine. I told her I thought it would be fun for me to see her get a lap dance. I'll post about it if we ever get around to it.
she called him up on stage and did a very provocative dance for him then laid him on the stage and sat on him and grinded him til he had a...ehem, happy ending with everyone there.
This would freak me out! I have to say, I'm glad my hubby isn't interested in strip clubs.
Once, when we were just friends, I tried to get him to take me to one, and he said, "pfffft, what a waste of money!"
LoL I gotta admit. It was a great answer! Posted via Mobile Device
Strip clubs never did much for me. Maybe when I was about 21-22 and single. The last time I went was years ago with a buddy of mine before I married, the only thing I can say is, I felt sorry for the girls that worked there, other than that it did nothing for me.
I've been to a few. They are ok. Maybe once every 1-2 years I go, and then remember why I don't go very often.
Everytime I go I see either anorexic, or slightly overweight non attractive girls dancing. On the few occasions I have seen an attractive dance, she is either way to full of herself (huge turn off) or every guy in the place is trying to get to her, and I don't feel like watching a **** fight.
I see extremely needy (for $$$) girls annoying the hell outta me for private dances, and I tend to end up avoiding them like the plague.
Drinks are usually stupid exspensive. Lap dances, are a phucking joke! I've never heard of any of the dancers offering more then a dance. In all my experiences they are after $$$ plain and simple. the quicker they get your $$$ the quicker they leave, and find the next sucker.
The only good thing is by the end of the night when I ready to go home to my wife (who is more often then not, way hotter) I am ready to tear her apart! But I also don't need strippers for that either. I am always ready to tear my wife apart, i usually have a hard time keeping my hands off her.
When my wife and i first started dating she really didn't have an issue with it (again, I didn't go very often, and always told her) the last time I went she seemed upset over it. I havn't been to one since.
On NYE my wife had a little to much to drink and gave me my own private dance, and it was WAY better then anything I have ever paid for, and I got to touch the goods!
72Likes
Re: What does REALLY goes on in strip clubs?? 
But I also don't need strippers for that either. I am always ready to tear my wife apart, i usually have a hard time keeping my hands off her. 
