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Want to watch husband masturbate

323K views 95 replies 65 participants last post by  Catherine602 
#1 ·
I am very embarrassed to talk about this because it goes farther then watching my husband masturbate. Im not sure how to start talking about it so im just going to start from the beginning. Or what I think is the beginning. First of all, I, like most women, love the feeling of masturbating myself. I have developed an addiction, or habit, of when I take a bath to masturbate. Im not sure if it is because that is pretty much the only time I have to myself since I have two boys along with my husband. But if I dont masturbate in the bath, I feel my bath is unfinished. Well now I think that when my husband gets alone time, if we all leave and he is home alone or in his shower, that he is masturbating as well. If he is home alone, when I get home, I look around to see if there is any evidence of his "play time". I have tried to tell myself that it is none of my business if he did that if he isnt cheating, which he isnt, then that is his time. But back to my original title. Ever since I have been married to my husband, I have wanted so badly to watch him masturbate. So much so that when he is taking a shower sometimes i like to watch him to see if he pleasures himself. I have told him that I would love to see him but he is so against it. Well yesterday, he was taking a shower and I just had a feeling that he would be pleasuring himself because he wanted me to play with him before he got up from bed. This is actually the first time I have got to see him masturbate. I got so excited about it my heart was beating so heart I swear he could hear it and I got sweaty. He looked out and saw me watching and got upset. I told him he knows how bad I want to watch him do this. He still doesnt care. So my question is: "To get this habit of needing to masturbate myself in he bath and wanting to know when he does gone, Im just not sure what to do" I think I need to break my habit to break the needing to know when he does. And how do I get him comfortable with masturbating in front of me? Please help me understand what it is I am feeling. :(
 
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#2 ·
Do you know why he feels so uncomfortable about you watching? Do you guys talk about sex and your needs and wants much?

Next time you guys are getting it on, whisper in his ear just what it did to you. Be dirty and tell him every lustful thought that crossed your mind. He may start to warm to the idea if he knows what it does to you when it's communicated in a way that isn't as daunting if he gets awkward during sex talks.

Does he know you masturbate in the bath? Does he watch you, either in the bath or in the bedroom? You might want to let him "catch" you in the act. Or just put on a show for him in the bedroom and ask him to join in.

Baby steps :)
 
#3 ·
We dont get much time to talk about our sex needs or wants. Most of the time we talk about it for a second right before we have sex and it some times turns into a mini argument. Then the pleasure turns into a need to get off and not wanting each other. Not as romantic.

When I tried to talk about catching him in the shower, he got mad at me for trying to talk about it.

Im not very good at dirty talk but I will try it. Any suggestions on what exactly I should say?

I thought about just starting to masturbate in the bed right before we go to sleep. Just waiting to see what he says or does. He knew last night that I wanted him pretty bad but he had to work early and I respect that he needs his sleep. But Im gonna try this tonight since he doesnt work till the evening tomorrow.

I dont know if he knows if I masturbate in the bath. I have not hid it from him. If he walked in he would see but I guess he just respects that it is my alone time and doenst come in.
 
#5 ·
One idea....

When you are naked in bed with him. You initiate by fondling him, (hopefully this is standard operating procedure) then use your other hand on yourself. (I know this is you masturbating both of you, but it brings it out into the open...where its not so secret and dirty.... I think.)

Hmmmm another idea...

Tie his hands to the head board, do the same as above, then eventually untie one hand and tell him to finish himself... preferable on you.

And yet another.... when you two are all sweaty and into the foreplay, tell him you fantasize about him cumming on your face. How can he resist?

Just keep trying things ...besides begging. Begging is a turn-off. Showing is a turn on!
 
#6 ·
You know, I first came to this forum when I discovered my wife wanted to watch me masturbate. I had a real hangup with ever even admitting I masturbated. I saw questions similar to yours, so I decided to join just so I could share how my wife was successful in getting me to do that for her. That's actually why I chose my monniker.

If you're interested, my story is on this page: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/24518-do-women-like-watch-men-masturbate-18.html It's the only post on that page that I made so you can't miss it if you're interested.

Your husband's hangups may be much like mine. Mine went all the way back to school when masturbation was ridiculed, and the things like "Real men have women take care of their needs. If you don't have that, then you're a little jack-off." My hangup had nothing to do with fear of being homosexual like I hear some people say. For me, discovering how much my wife got turned on by watching it is what motivated me to get past my hangup, but as you can see if you read the story, it was still very difficult the first time I did it for her.

Now, it's not a problem. Now that she's gotten me past it, it's also not something she wants all the time. Like about 100 other items and kinks we have, it's something that just goes into the mix and gets done sometimes ... we're happy about that kind of mix, and I'm happy at the way it turns my wife on in the times when we do this.

Hopefully, you can find something helpful in my experience.
 
#8 ·
I have a different take. I think that you are invading his privacy. Spying on him in the safety of your home seems invasive to me. Where can he go to have a private moment? Why does he need to say yes to putting on a show?

Doesn't seem fair to me. He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it. They are beautiful but you need permission from the human connected to that natural wonder to look at or touch it.

Don't invade his privacy, you will shut him down. Your actions dont seem to me to be that of a partner, friend, confidant and safe harbor. Moreover, if he deems maturbation as a private activity, you have to accept his right to decide.

Find something you are both comfortable with. Afterall, sex should be mutually satisfying. He is clearly not satisfied. I think you owe him an apology for invading his privacy and a promise never to do it again.
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#9 ·
I think this was the kind of reply I was expecting. I know I evaded his privacy and dont plan on doing it again. It will be a hard thing to stop my mind from wandering the way it has these last few months. I am actually getting tired of all these things that slip into my mind but dont know how to stop them. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it. :eek:
 
#11 ·
I think it was mentioned/referenced earlier, but many guys have hang ups about masturbation because when we were younger it was considered shameful/lame to do it. So we would hide it.

Now I don't care if my wife sees me, but to be honest I tend to start w/o her in the room in general. Only exceptions are during foreplay/sex (when she's done).
 
#10 · (Edited)
I love that my wife wants to watch me and i do it for her whenever she requests it ... my body is hers, I always comply...

I suggest stroking him with your hand and getting him close. Would be good if you were masterbating yourself also but dont get too out of control so you can be sure to make things go your way. While stroking him, move his hand onto yours so you are both stroking his penis together. if he is close maybe he wont resist. You can make him cum this way and maybe next time move your hand away and let him finish ... be sure and reward this somehow... You are asking him to overcome something apparently of great discomfort. make it worth it to him...
 
#12 ·
first time my ex saw me do this in front of her she had turned me down, I wasn't mad just horny so I did it, and she was captivated, it put her in the mood and we went on to make love after a short recovery period. Once she asked me to do it again, so I did, another time I was horny and started and she was repulsed by it... I soon learned that she would either be really turned on or else repulsed, became a big gamble, but I just wanted to get off so I stopped doing it in front of her.
 
#13 ·
I don't think there is anything wrong at all with you wanting to watch. Just like I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to do that alone sometimes too. So let me ask you this: do you ever pleasure yourself in front of him? Or as someone else said, better yet would be to both of you please yourselves at the same time. I bet that doesn't last too long before one of you is on top of the other!!! Maybe if he doesn't want to do it right in front of you ask him to tape himself and let you watch it and then you do the same for him. Have some fun with it. I need you to come and talk to my wife, I would love for my wife to want to watch me!!!
 
#14 ·
He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it.

Well sure.... but you can boink someone with it, but not want to touch it if they might be looking? You want your partner to lick it, but you won't touch it? Hang ups are hang ups, and there is nothing wrong with trying to figure out a way to help someone get past them...whether they realize it or not.

Same with ideas about oral, or frequency, or anything "new" and different. It's worth a shot.

I do think, if you get shot down... realize that its his hangup, its not the end of the world or the relationship...and its not about you. It's also not a failure on his part, if he doesn't come around he just doesn't..... try something else.
 
#15 ·
First and foremost, let him have the shower as his private space. I know when I masturbate I prefer to do it in private, otherwise I feel obligated to make some show of it when there is really nothing to make a show of.

Then communicate that you do find it a turn on to watch him so he can decide whether or not he is interested in complying. I find it hot watching M masturbate but he won't do it if I'm with him, so I understand. His take on it is that he prefers sex to masturbation and if I am around it is sex or nothing for him. Maybe there is an element of shame involved, but he hasn't mentioned that part to me.

We've been long-distance for the last 7 months so he sent me a few videos of him masturbating. Hawt.

I know it is kind of hypocritical to want to watch him masturbate but not want him to watch (ok, very >.>) but honestly a woman masturbating with a vibrator= apply vibrator, move it a little, orgasm, done. The orgasms don't even feel as good as "real" ones most of the time. At least guys have an external organ and lots of movement to watch. XD

It is also possible your husband felt some irritation that he expressed sexual interest in you, you declined, he was taking care of himself and *then* you decided to watch what he felt was a forced alternative from sex. Just a thought.
 
#19 ·
:lol: The only problem here is cheating. It's a little harder for men to fake an orgasm than it is for women ... but then again, I guess it comes down to what you're really trying to win, and it doesn't sound like that's $100.00 :D
 
#23 ·
Way way to many prudes on here.He is the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with and one day may be helping you use the restroom so stop the hiding part.

Start doing yourself in front of him make all kind of noise , then grab his hand put it on his penis and he should know what to do.

I also like the tying his hand thing that somebody said earlier of taking a shower with him and using the sprayer on yourself.

When I was dating and started having sex with a new partner they would always say how they say no need to do themselves when they could get the real thing,I would grab one of their hand put it between their legs and they would be going at it right away. I still do it with my wife.
 
#24 ·
Well my evening didnt turn out so well. The conversation started out like this "Honey I'm sorry." He says for what "I said for invading your privacy yesterday." He said nothing. I asked if he heard me he says yes. I ask if he has anything to say he says no. This is where I become very confused. I asked if it bothered him that I watched. He said no and I asked why he got so upset. (he was over it before he even left the shower) He said because he felt like someone was watching him and well I was. I was still confused (still am) and it turned into an argument because I think we didnt understand how each other felt. It didnt help that it was late because we cant talk about this stuff when the kids are up. He pretty much told me he doesnt want me to watch him do it because he shouldnt have to do it at all since we are married. I tried to tell him how much it turned me on but he said he doesnt care. I even brought up the fact that he never plays with me that maybe I feel the same way he does. (I dont). I also brought up how much I HATE cum but tried having him cum in my mouth. That didnt turn out well. I almost puked on him. But I reminded him of how much it took for me to try it. I just think its fair. Any way I am rambling. I ended up falling asleep in the living room and him in the bed because he said something about having to sleep on the edge of the bed just so he doesnt touch me. That is when I got up to give him his space. I waited until he was asleep and got into bed. It took me forever to go to sleep. When I woke up he acted like nothing was wrong and "wanted some". Well I gave in. Some kind of make up sex. I think I am going to propose trying to let him cum in my mouth again in exchange for my fantasy. I just think I might wait a while before I ask.
 
#29 ·
So he doesnt want you to watch because he thinks he should NEVER have to masterbate, but if he does, its because you havent put out enough so you don't deserve to watch?
I dont agree with this thinking, it seems a bit selfish and immature. He needs to incorporate masterbation into the whole sex life picture. I do, if my wife let me masterbate next to her I consider that I "got some" ... she doesnt feel like doing it every second of every day... hormones, etc...

I would address his resentment about cuming in your mouth though. You dont have to if you cannot handle it but that is VERY important to alot of men. it is an "acceptance" thing. I would at least let him know that you know how important it is to him even if you cannot bring yourself to do it. But you could get him to masterbate in front of you if you offer to take it in your mouth when he finishes. Ask some of the women on here how they manage to do this anyway if it is un-pleasant to them.
 
#26 · (Edited)
I don't understand why doesn't want you to watch. Maybe he's afraid you'll judge him or he thinks of it as a private thing and doesn't want to be objectified. I think it can be a great turn on for a spouse to watch the other or be watched by the other. You guys should have a frank discussion about sexuality and what each of you wants or just try to get a little naughtier with practice. You could give him a hand job during foreplay. Or, you could start with oral and ask him to finish himself on you, face or breasts or something else he might like. It might be the remoteness of the request that wierds him out, but something he might be into under other circumstances.

However, if he has already told you that he does not consent to such a thing and you are trying to take advantage of his vulnerable moments and still do the thing (watching, in your case), you are violating him. That is not cool. People should be able to trust that their spouses won't violate their boundaries just to get their kicks. There are words for such behavior and you're testing the limits. What if he told you he really wanted anal and you said no and he tried to trick you into it every time you let you guard down. Not cool. Talk to him about what you want. If he doesn't want to give it, respect his wishes. Instead, go fantasize for a while and imagine watching him while you have regular sex. But, the same goes for women as goes for men -- no, means no.
 
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#27 ·
Is your husband this selfish in other ways in the bedroom,because it sound like as long as he get what he wants it no problem [swallowing] but he can't rub one out for you,it just sounds crazy,you should be the person he feels most comfortable doing it around.
If he was single and a woman he was after said she wanted to see him do before he got sex he would do it no problem.

Before you have another go give him a drink.maybe that will loosen him up.
 
#28 ·
I never thought about getting a little tipsy before sex. We would have a great time. Then I think he would be more relaxed and enjoy it himself. Thanks for the idea. Now the trick is to get him to drink enough. It takes a bit for him to feel anything. Maybe see how many it takes before he really starts to feel something. Or try to get more tipsy then he ever has been. We dont drink a lot if anyone is wondering and we just started drinking the last year or so. I just hope it doenst turn out like a boyfriend in high school. He couldnt even get hard. That would suck....:scratchhead:
 
#30 ·
I never thought about getting a little tipsy before sex. We would have a great time. Then I think he would be more relaxed and enjoy it himself. Thanks for the idea. Now the trick is to get him to drink enough. It takes a bit for him to feel anything.
Well don't get the beer funnel and handcuffs out or he'll know something's amiss lol.

All kidding aside... if you aren't big drinkers, why not share some wine (a bottle or two) between you during and after a nice dinner- ideally while the kids are being babysat. By all means, have a drink to enjoy the drink and unwind and be a little tipsy and frisky but don't set out to purposely get him drunk or you very well could end up with a repeat situation.

Slip into something 'more comfortable' (read: whatever makes you feel super sexy) as the saying goes. If you are confident, you could always do a little bit of teasing. Tie him to a chair. Pleasure yourself in front of him then release one of his hands and ask him to touch himself while you give him a show. Maybe you minx-ing it up in front of him will do it for him.

Wow, in giving this suggestion in the above paragraph, I seriously hope I didn't cross any TAM boundaries :eek: Mods, if I have, let me know and I'll clean it up :D
 
#32 ·
He probably reacted to your bringing the subject up because he was ashamed . Whether other people on this forum believe it, think it is stupid whaterver, it doesn’t matter…he feels that way. The same way people should respect your cum issue. Who knows, perhaps his mom, or sister caught him or he just believes it is not something for a grown man to do. I agree with Catherine, you should have respected his privacy. It would be one thing if he were spanking it in your living room in the comfort of a chair or sofa and could be caught….

Personally, I think mutual masturbation is super hot. Wish my wife were not so insecure about her toy use which she seems to be intermitantly shy about admitting. Having said that I still get embarrassed if my wife walks in on me (and I don’t close the door…). I also know guys who would not be cool with their wife using a toy. Most men feel they don’t get it enough so they don’t want to give their wives a tool to please themselves. Human nature is driven by fears and desires. He man not want to open the pandora’s box of masturbation because he wants more sex not less. Make him realize you want the same thing. He may already think that your solo tub time may be a substitute for sex between the two of you. Maybe invite him in the shower and soap each other up and show him how you diddle yourself. You could also try role playing. You play the horny housewife laying on the bed waiting for him to come home…get yourself warmed up…so many possibilities.

“He pretty much told me he doesn’t want me to watch him do it because he shouldnt have to do it at all since we are married. I tried to tell him how much it turned me on but he said he doesnt care”.

He wants to have sex with you and not jerk off. So it is all in the presentation. Don’t tell him you want to watch him masturbate as he clearly he doesn’t want this. Why not incorporate him “touching himself” somewhere in your lovemaking process or you could take the lead.

I would NOT!! agree to having him put on a show for you in return for cuming in your mouth. Normally I tend to think that most women it is mind of matter and you should “suck it up” excuse the pun but, your almost vomiting seems extreme. Suppose you can’t get past it. Do you want him masturbating for you to be a bribe to get you to do something you potentially will never get to be ok with? I would be more subtle. I would simply go down on him slowly as to not make him climax. Then I would tell him your mouth is tired but you want to “finish him”. Then while you are licking him in a place he likes, tell him THEN ask him if he can “give you a hand” and stroke himself. This will make it not really masturbating in his mind.

have fun, let us know how it turns out this way people find out what works.
 
#33 ·
Just a tip on the drinking to losen him up. When you go out, say you're going to the bathroom and stop the server/bartender and tell them to make his drink stronger and yours weaker.

Drink yours faster than he is drinking his and jokingly poke at him for not keeping up. Drinking a few strong Long Islands (for example) in a short amount of time will loosen anyone up. Might want to get a cab. ;)

When you get home, start giving him a bj but demand that he remains standing. When you think he's not too far from finishing, take his hand and have him stroke while you sit in front of him with your mouth open asking him to cvm in your mouth. Keep him motivated by telling him how much you want it. You can occassionally help out by jumping in with your mouth to lube him up.

When he cvms, in all probability a lot of it will miss your mouth and if he gets a good shot you can just drool it out, close your mouth so the rest lands on your lips.

Reduced inhibitions, no masturbating stigma, and minimal vomit concerns. Win win win.
 
#34 ·
Just a tip on the drinking to losen him up. When you go out, say you're going to the bathroom and stop the server/bartender and tell them to make his drink stronger and yours weaker.

Drink yours faster than he is drinking his and jokingly poke at him for not keeping up....
This feels too much like suggesting the OP drug her husband to fulfill her sexual desires.
 
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