Want to watch husband masturbate
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Want to watch husband masturbate

I am very embarrassed to talk about this because it goes farther then watching my husband masturbate. Im not sure how to start talking about it so im just going to start from the beginning. Or what I think is the beginning. First of all, I, like most women, love the feeling of masturbating myself. I have developed an addiction, or habit, of when I take a bath to masturbate. Im not sure if it is because that is pretty much the only time I have to myself since I have two boys along with my husband. But if I dont masturbate in the bath, I feel my bath is unfinished. Well now I think that when my husband gets alone time, if we all leave and he is home alone or in his shower, that he is masturbating as well. If he is home alone, when I get home, I look around to see if there is any evidence of his "play time". I have tried to tell myself that it is none of my business if he did that if he isnt cheating, which he isnt, then that is his time. But back to my original title. Ever since I have been married to my husband, I have wanted so badly to watch him masturbate. So much so that when he is taking a shower sometimes i like to watch him to see if he pleasures himself. I have told him that I would love to see him but he is so against it. Well yesterday, he was taking a shower and I just had a feeling that he would be pleasuring himself because he wanted me to play with him before he got up from bed. This is actually the first time I have got to see him masturbate. I got so excited about it my heart was beating so heart I swear he could hear it and I got sweaty. He looked out and saw me watching and got upset. I told him he knows how bad I want to watch him do this. He still doesnt care. So my question is: "To get this habit of needing to masturbate myself in he bath and wanting to know when he does gone, Im just not sure what to do" I think I need to break my habit to break the needing to know when he does. And how do I get him comfortable with masturbating in front of me? Please help me understand what it is I am feeling.
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Do you know why he feels so uncomfortable about you watching? Do you guys talk about sex and your needs and wants much?

Next time you guys are getting it on, whisper in his ear just what it did to you. Be dirty and tell him every lustful thought that crossed your mind. He may start to warm to the idea if he knows what it does to you when it's communicated in a way that isn't as daunting if he gets awkward during sex talks.

Does he know you masturbate in the bath? Does he watch you, either in the bath or in the bedroom? You might want to let him "catch" you in the act. Or just put on a show for him in the bedroom and ask him to join in.

Baby steps
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

We dont get much time to talk about our sex needs or wants. Most of the time we talk about it for a second right before we have sex and it some times turns into a mini argument. Then the pleasure turns into a need to get off and not wanting each other. Not as romantic.

When I tried to talk about catching him in the shower, he got mad at me for trying to talk about it.

Im not very good at dirty talk but I will try it. Any suggestions on what exactly I should say?

I thought about just starting to masturbate in the bed right before we go to sleep. Just waiting to see what he says or does. He knew last night that I wanted him pretty bad but he had to work early and I respect that he needs his sleep. But Im gonna try this tonight since he doesnt work till the evening tomorrow.

I dont know if he knows if I masturbate in the bath. I have not hid it from him. If he walked in he would see but I guess he just respects that it is my alone time and doenst come in.
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

god some men don't know how lucky they are!!! I wish you luck honey x
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

One idea....

When you are naked in bed with him. You initiate by fondling him, (hopefully this is standard operating procedure) then use your other hand on yourself. (I know this is you masturbating both of you, but it brings it out into the open...where its not so secret and dirty.... I think.)

Hmmmm another idea...

Tie his hands to the head board, do the same as above, then eventually untie one hand and tell him to finish himself... preferable on you.

And yet another.... when you two are all sweaty and into the foreplay, tell him you fantasize about him cumming on your face. How can he resist?

Just keep trying things ...besides begging. Begging is a turn-off. Showing is a turn on!
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

You know, I first came to this forum when I discovered my wife wanted to watch me masturbate. I had a real hangup with ever even admitting I masturbated. I saw questions similar to yours, so I decided to join just so I could share how my wife was successful in getting me to do that for her. That's actually why I chose my monniker.

If you're interested, my story is on this page: Do women like to watch men masturbate? It's the only post on that page that I made so you can't miss it if you're interested.

Your husband's hangups may be much like mine. Mine went all the way back to school when masturbation was ridiculed, and the things like "Real men have women take care of their needs. If you don't have that, then you're a little jack-off." My hangup had nothing to do with fear of being homosexual like I hear some people say. For me, discovering how much my wife got turned on by watching it is what motivated me to get past my hangup, but as you can see if you read the story, it was still very difficult the first time I did it for her.

Now, it's not a problem. Now that she's gotten me past it, it's also not something she wants all the time. Like about 100 other items and kinks we have, it's something that just goes into the mix and gets done sometimes ... we're happy about that kind of mix, and I'm happy at the way it turns my wife on in the times when we do this.

Hopefully, you can find something helpful in my experience.
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

*sigh*, no kidding some of us men WISH our wives wanted to watch us...
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

I have a different take. I think that you are invading his privacy. Spying on him in the safety of your home seems invasive to me. Where can he go to have a private moment? Why does he need to say yes to putting on a show?

Doesn't seem fair to me. He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it. They are beautiful but you need permission from the human connected to that natural wonder to look at or touch it.

Don't invade his privacy, you will shut him down. Your actions dont seem to me to be that of a partner, friend, confidant and safe harbor. Moreover, if he deems maturbation as a private activity, you have to accept his right to decide.

Find something you are both comfortable with. Afterall, sex should be mutually satisfying. He is clearly not satisfied. I think you owe him an apology for invading his privacy and a promise never to do it again.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

I think this was the kind of reply I was expecting. I know I evaded his privacy and dont plan on doing it again. It will be a hard thing to stop my mind from wandering the way it has these last few months. I am actually getting tired of all these things that slip into my mind but dont know how to stop them. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

I love that my wife wants to watch me and i do it for her whenever she requests it ... my body is hers, I always comply...

I suggest stroking him with your hand and getting him close. Would be good if you were masterbating yourself also but dont get too out of control so you can be sure to make things go your way. While stroking him, move his hand onto yours so you are both stroking his penis together. if he is close maybe he wont resist. You can make him cum this way and maybe next time move your hand away and let him finish ... be sure and reward this somehow... You are asking him to overcome something apparently of great discomfort. make it worth it to him...

Last edited by cone; 04-09-2012 at 01:58 PM.
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdm913 View Post
I think this was the kind of reply I was expecting. I know I evaded his privacy and dont plan on doing it again. It will be a hard thing to stop my mind from wandering the way it has these last few months. I am actually getting tired of all these things that slip into my mind but dont know how to stop them. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.
I think it was mentioned/referenced earlier, but many guys have hang ups about masturbation because when we were younger it was considered shameful/lame to do it. So we would hide it.

Now I don't care if my wife sees me, but to be honest I tend to start w/o her in the room in general. Only exceptions are during foreplay/sex (when she's done).
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

first time my ex saw me do this in front of her she had turned me down, I wasn't mad just horny so I did it, and she was captivated, it put her in the mood and we went on to make love after a short recovery period. Once she asked me to do it again, so I did, another time I was horny and started and she was repulsed by it... I soon learned that she would either be really turned on or else repulsed, became a big gamble, but I just wanted to get off so I stopped doing it in front of her.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with you wanting to watch. Just like I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to do that alone sometimes too. So let me ask you this: do you ever pleasure yourself in front of him? Or as someone else said, better yet would be to both of you please yourselves at the same time. I bet that doesn't last too long before one of you is on top of the other!!! Maybe if he doesn't want to do it right in front of you ask him to tape himself and let you watch it and then you do the same for him. Have some fun with it. I need you to come and talk to my wife, I would love for my wife to want to watch me!!!
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:21 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it.

Well sure.... but you can boink someone with it, but not want to touch it if they might be looking? You want your partner to lick it, but you won't touch it? Hang ups are hang ups, and there is nothing wrong with trying to figure out a way to help someone get past them...whether they realize it or not.

Same with ideas about oral, or frequency, or anything "new" and different. It's worth a shot.

I do think, if you get shot down... realize that its his hangup, its not the end of the world or the relationship...and its not about you. It's also not a failure on his part, if he doesn't come around he just doesn't..... try something else.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Want to watch husband masturbate

First and foremost, let him have the shower as his private space. I know when I masturbate I prefer to do it in private, otherwise I feel obligated to make some show of it when there is really nothing to make a show of.

Then communicate that you do find it a turn on to watch him so he can decide whether or not he is interested in complying. I find it hot watching M masturbate but he won't do it if I'm with him, so I understand. His take on it is that he prefers sex to masturbation and if I am around it is sex or nothing for him. Maybe there is an element of shame involved, but he hasn't mentioned that part to me.

We've been long-distance for the last 7 months so he sent me a few videos of him masturbating. Hawt.

I know it is kind of hypocritical to want to watch him masturbate but not want him to watch (ok, very >.>) but honestly a woman masturbating with a vibrator= apply vibrator, move it a little, orgasm, done. The orgasms don't even feel as good as "real" ones most of the time. At least guys have an external organ and lots of movement to watch. XD

It is also possible your husband felt some irritation that he expressed sexual interest in you, you declined, he was taking care of himself and *then* you decided to watch what he felt was a forced alternative from sex. Just a thought.
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