I almost want to say... print out the first post & show it to him. Then say "we need to talk". After he reads it, say that this is how upset you are about it. That it is really bugging you and that yOu don't remember him being like this before your son was born.
Tell him that you want to be closer to him again, but it almost feels like you are becoming germ-a-phobe... and could he possibly, see it in his heart to do this for you... to try to smell pretty & clean & wear clean underwear.. just for you... just to have his wife smile???
I have actually done a similar thing, about a year ago I posted on a forum I used to use about how he hadn't brushed his teeth in a week, etc...I let the thread up on the laptop screen for him to find. This resulted in him telling me how he doesn't like Colgate or crest toothpaste, he likes this melaleuca original flavor toothpaste he grew up with. So I looked it up, and the company doesn't make it anymore. He did get better about brushing his teeth, and now he brushes several times a week. (but only for work, not on his days off)
Maybe I am a germ a phobe...I was raised to shower every day and brush my teeth twice a day, but perhaps this is not the rule for everyone else? Fwiw, he was raised in the Midwest, not some foreign country without running water...
I stopped at the YMCA on my way home this morning and got the paperwork to sign myself up. Hopefully this will be a step in the right direction. I just can't shake the feeling that he's passive aggressively punishing me for gaining weight. Posted via Mobile Device
Thanks waiwera, I'm glad to know that it's not just me. I know that I can be too picky about how clean my house is, I was wondering if I was expecting too much by hoping for clean underwear. Posted via Mobile Device
On Saturday night, I noticed that he was still wearing the same pair of underwear, and there was a poop smear that had soaked through to the outside of his underwear. He went to bed, and wore the same pair of poopy underwear to a birthday party for a child on Sunday, again without showering. Then he wore them to bed again Sunday night and didn't change them until he showered this morning (monday) for work. Our bed smells disgusting!
Ok your hubby is a disgusting sh!t covered pig, and he's getting worse by the day.
Other than spraying him down with a firehouse every time he walks in the door there's nothing much you can do about it.
He needs to start finding something active to do, for his OWN benefit, let alone yours. Is he feeling burdened with something: work? chores? feeling tethered to the home? I am a big time home-body and I dislike it, but find it so hard to get going sometimes, especially when there is a mess, child to feed, chores to do etc, and there is ALWAYS something to be done which I used as an excuse to never get out. And to escape the misery I'd put on a movie or tv show... Maybe you should cancel your netflix? Find a way to kick him out of the house, maybe means having to do some sh!t you shouldn't have to do (ie mothering him) but try to encourage and entice him out of his rut or he will stay there indefinitely.
Thanks again Lon, I found a Texas hold em meetup group for him and he's interested in joining! I think that will be helpful, getting him out of the house at least once every other week, to hang out with guys and do something he's interested in. I'm also signing up for the YMCA when they have their fair next weekend, so that should help. I'm also looking into the visalis diet, in hopes of shedding these extra pounds. Posted via Mobile Device
And he is actually a working actor. He's a very naturally good looking guy. He's very confident and outgoing and has no problems getting roles and women.
He has some belief that his natural odor....which is BO....is attractive to women. He showers infrequently.
He smells, he burps and farts all the time, I don't think he has any clue how to do laundry, he is always sniffling snot loudly.
He takes his shoes off and they smell horribly. He urinates with the door open. You can be in the living room and all of a sudden just hear piss streaming into a toilet.
I really like the guy, he is a good friend and much more interesting than most people. But it's hard to be around him too long because of the lack of hygiene. I really don't get it.
I have no idea how his current girlfriend, who is a good looking woman herself, how she stands it.
Thanks waiwera, I'm glad to know that it's not just me. I know that I can be too picky about how clean my house is, I was wondering if I was expecting too much by hoping for clean underwear. Posted via Mobile Device
No as I read on, wow... he's just being gross (and I'm a guy who really doesn't worry much about germs).
I'd insist he take a shower every night before going to bed, ask him to do it for you as a kindness. When he's in the shower take those old undies and either incinerate them (lol), or put them in the wash and bring out new ones for him to change into.
No as I read on, wow... he's just being gross (and I'm a guy who really doesn't worry much about germs).
I'd insist he take a shower every night before going to bed, ask him to do it for you as a kindness. When he's in the shower take those old undies and either incinerate them (lol), or put them in the wash and bring out new ones for him to change into.
I'll take a shower first, to show him I don't expect him to do something I won't do, and then nicely ask him if he is planning on showering next. His usual response is, "uh, I hadn't planned on it." or I'll ask him do you want to shower first, or should I? So I end up showering first, and he doesn't get in at all. We have a small stall like shower, so we can't really get in together. I do all our laundry, so he always has clean clothes, including underwear...I guess I just don't get it. Like today, he got up in plenty of time before work, didnt shower, put on clean pants, shirt, socks, but is still wearing the underwear he put on yesterday morning after his shower, wore all day yesterday, and to bed last night. I know for sure because I pickup his dirty laundry off the floor every day so I can see what he's taken off, and it doesn't include his underwear! Posted via Mobile Device
Does he exercise at all? If not with all the stress in your lives it would be good for him. I know for me (as a guy) when I don't exercise I don't always shower ever day, but after a good work out I can't wait to shower. Oh and after exercising there's no way I want to even touch that old pair of underwear.
Browncoat, if you don't shower on a particular day, do you put on clean underwear anyway? Women have to put on clean underwear about every 12 hours, but I'm not sure with men. Posted via Mobile Device
Browncoat, if you don't shower on a particular day, do you put on clean underwear anyway? Women have to put on clean underwear about every 12 hours, but I'm not sure with men. Posted via Mobile Device
Yep. I happen to sleep naked, so I put my underwear in the hamper before going to bed. Next morning when I get dressed I'm wearing all clean clothes (except pants which I sometimes wear for 3-5 days straight, but i work in an office sitting on my bum).
...We have a small stall like shower, so we can't really get in together.
Just throwing ideas out here, but have you maybe thought about renovating the bathroom? Build a nice, inviting luxury shower with room for two, maybe some extra jets...?
I know for me, personally, I hate stepping into a cramped, grungy shower, but anytime I've seen one of those nice showhome showers with tile and glass and massaging heads I've been tempted to undress and hop in right there. Maybe have some nice smelling soap in there... a waterproof lcd tv?
I may be way off base here, but I'm wondering if there's a possibility that he may have a form of autism also? High functioning autism, known as Asperger's Syndrome is often difficult to diagnose (especially in adults) and one of the main "complaints" (for lack of a better word) that SO's of Asperger's afflicted people have is lack of personal hygiene; it just doesn't bother them, so they see no need to worry about body smells, breath, etc. Like I said, I could be way off base, but... it's worth taking a look at if all other methods fail.
I'll take a shower first, to show him I don't expect him to do something I won't do, and then nicely ask him if he is planning on showering next. His usual response is, "uh, I hadn't planned on it." Posted via Mobile Device
... and the response is: plan on it hubby.
The exact response of course is somewhat based on how you two talk to each other... but I really think you should be more firm.
Maybe tell him how you like cuddling up against a clean bod (or whatever might motivate him).
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Re: Husband's personal hygiene is awful. pls help 
