Wife's masturbation
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Old 04-18-2012, 05:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife's masturbation

Ladies, need some insight here please. I woke up in bed early this morning unbeknowngst to my wife because I didn't actually move around as I woke up I just kind of woke up laying still. I had my back to my wife too. Well low and behold I swear I felt her very subtly start masturbating next to me... I am sure of it.

My wife has denied in the past that she masturbates when I've asked her and I always suspected she was lying and just embarrassed about talking about it. So now I know she does, and I'm so glad to know now. But I'm a little hurt at the same time because I've told her before that if she's ever in the mood for lovin' and even if it's early morning then I want her to reach over and grab me. Well she didn't. She knows how much I want her all the time so this kind of hurts me a little.

Am I over sensitive or overreacting here???
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Old 04-18-2012, 05:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

yes you are overreacting. Unless she is witholding sex from you then your reaction would be on point.

Next time you catch this act start masturbating yourself. Don't say a thing just do it and see what transpires. You may find she was ashamed by it but your actions may make her feel better about it.
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

No she's not withholding sex from me, and I'm even ok with the concept of her masturbating. Hell I've been open with her in the past about my masturbation and that most guys do it, but she has never been open with me about herself doing it.

I would completely understand if I wasn't around at a certain opportunity and she needed some pleasure, but I don't understand why she would need to please herself if I'm laying right there next to her at her disposal. Especially since only a couple of weeks ago I specifically told her that even if I was asleep and it was early morning that I want her to wake me up.

Kinda struggling understanding this one.
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Are you *sure* she was really masturbating? Just seems odd that someone who is so reticent and uptight about it would be able to do it in the bed with you right there presumably asleep, and able to wake up at any moment.

Well, sometimes people masturbate because it is easier for them ... they may want a quick release without all of the hassle of arousal and intercourse. And some people have ideas that masturbation is not something you involve someone else in.

My H and I had a talk about our feelings regarding masturbation a long time ago ... during the early years of our marriage. We agreed to let each other have first dibs, if possible (e.g., if we are both physically present). If you haven't had this kind of talk, then you should to see if you can come to some kind of agreement.

And, as far as this incident ... I don't know if I would mention it specifically, but you could talk in generalities ... and since it sounds like you have told her you would be willing to participate if she was, then you'll have to see if she truly is ... and if this happens again, don't lay there like a dead dog wondering and wishing ... move around, roll over to her ... "good morning sunshine!" Maybe she just CAN"T initiate these kinds of things ... but YOU can. What if she were waiting for you to wake up and take charge? You won't know unless you try, I guess.

Best wishes.
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Last edited by Enchantment; 04-18-2012 at 07:57 AM.
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Old 04-18-2012, 08:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Are you sure she was awake? I've woken up several times masturbating and having orgasms while having erotic dreams.
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Old 04-18-2012, 08:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

I'm as *sure* as I can be without actually seeing her doing it. I heard her look at the iPhone like she was checking the time and then put the phone back down (she woke up before her alarm went off). Then after a few moments I felt a very subtle and occasional soft movement of the sheets against my body, like her hand motion might have been occasionally catching the sheet and making the slightest of vibration from her hand touching it.

This happened for a few minutes, then she very slightly adjusted her body for a moment which to me must have been preparing herself for the orgasm finish. A few more movements in this new position but she was so silent I didn't hear any panting type of breathing from her, and only one single long breath after what I assume was her release of breath after her "finish".

Then I heard and felt more distinct hand movement which must have been her removing her hand from her pants. She picked up her phone again, looked at it for a few moments, and then put it down and her alarm went off shortly after. She got up, I heard her pull something out of a container on the dresser, maybe a tissue, and then she left the room to go into the bathroom and take her shower.

So no I'm not 100% positive, but darn I'm almost certain.
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Old 04-18-2012, 08:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Why join her in the shower if I know she already got off on her own? It's not all about me, it's that I actually like being able to pleasure her. If I join her in the shower at this point I know I'm not going to do anything for her since she just got off already. Then it's just one-way sex...

Maybe you're right Enchantment, maybe next time I need to roll over and greet her instead of just laying there while it happens. I guess I was just in shock and didn't know what to do because the topic of her masturbating has seemed so taboo in the past... I'm afraid I'll do more damage than good if I interrupt her and embarrass her...
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Old 04-18-2012, 09:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

I'm not sure why you lay there kind of observing the whole thing. I think you should have reached over, and helped her out without saying one word. Sometimes women just want to please themselves without all the other stuff, and that's ok as long as your sex life is healthy. You say she's embarrased about talking about masturbating, but can you start a dialogue where she would feel comfortable??
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Dude,You should enjoy the fact that your wife has some sexual desire in her?And that she still has a desire for orgasm.Most of the guys here would love to wake up to their wife masterbating?Plus you said you are getting it as well? Where's the problem?Want to trade place's?
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:32 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess I'm just infatuated with the idea of her channeling her sexual energy entirely my way since I'm ready to do whatever she needs at any time.

Guess I'm being unrealistic though...
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Hmm, not sure what she was feeling. She may have awoken from an erotic dream, and wanted a quickie to indulge the arousal without waking you up.

Since she is shy about discussing masturbation, if this happens again, I would just roll over and start touching her, whispering that you are aroused this morning. She is already warmed up, so it won't take much to have her respond to you.
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:57 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

A lot of people were raised to believe that masturbation is a horrible thing, especially those of us who are Catholics. You are a BAD BOY/GIRL if you touch yourself. When that is slammed into you for years you have a tough time getting away from that. I would shame myself if my wife caught me, and that caused us problems because by doing it gave the appearance I was doing something wrong.

I think women have a more difficult time with it because of the stigma that is associated with it, they don't want to appear "****ty", and I think some women have an idea that most people think that.

I gotta be honest, I think a person who never masturbates (and isn't lying about it) actually has more issues than someone who does...
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Old 04-18-2012, 11:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bottled Up View Post
Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess I'm just infatuated with the idea of her channeling her sexual energy entirely my way since I'm ready to do whatever she needs at any time.

Guess I'm being unrealistic though...
Sometimes it's fun to let your mind focus on a fantasy and let yourself go for a few minutes. Sometimes we don't have the energy or desire or TIME for a full out sexual escapade. And honestly, sometimes we just want a quick orgasm without having to focus on another person and without having to give anyone else one.

Don't take it personally. Especially since she masturbates in addition to having regular sex with you.
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Old 04-18-2012, 11:21 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife's masturbation

i would sometimes wake to my exw masturbating.
she was only willing to have sex about once a month, mostly during her period.
i have rolled over to her or tried to do things to help her along, but she was not interested in that. i guess that probably ruined it during her fantasizing, probably about her AP's.
so finally it got to where when i would wake to that i would just shift a little and say 'nice'
then roll over facing away from her.
that usually made her stop and go to sleep.
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Old 04-18-2012, 01:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best View Post
i would sometimes wake to my exw masturbating.
she was only willing to have sex about once a month, mostly during her period.
i have rolled over to her or tried to do things to help her along, but she was not interested in that. i guess that probably ruined it during her fantasizing, probably about her AP's.
so finally it got to where when i would wake to that i would just shift a little and say 'nice'
then roll over facing away from her.
that usually made her stop and go to sleep.
That's awful, sorry that happened.
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