Originally Posted by Lonelyandmarried View Post
Ladies I need your help. My wife and I haven't had sex in almost 2 years. We have an autistic child that takes a lot of her time during the day. She says she is mentally and physically exhausted all the time from being his main caregiver. I help out at nights, after work, and on the weekends. I understand he is handful, but I've told her it isn't fair to me that I have to live in a sexless marriage. I don't want to cheat, but will just for sex.
OP, I have an autistic son who is now almost 9 years old. I get that it is a lot of work, but I think you are addressing this backwards.
Spending all day with a child with special needs can be frustrating, especially if you have a lot of people tell you "Oh, I totally get it, my best friends cousins uncles sister has a kid with autism" and you want to just slap them. Its hard to relate, and often the support groups turn into " My kid has it worse than yours" sessions.
Instead, I would ask if you could manage to inform her that her energy level is probably zapped, and that she needs to get into a regular gym routine to pick it back up. She needs that something for herself before she is going to offer you much of anything. I kid you not, I have two kids by myself, one who is autistic, has IEP meetings, therapies, teachers, etc, etc all week long, and I am still raring to go when my H is home. She needs to get herself back up and get into running, walking, jogging, pilates, something. Get that energy back.
I do agree that you need to talk to her and also inform her you are considering divorce over the lack of sex. I certainly wouldn't be down with my H cutting me off, so I don't expect you would be either. If you cheat, you are having an effect on things you would never even think about. Keep it clean, and keep it in your pants until you are either divorcing or having sex with your wife.