Ladies opinion needed
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

Like Tree6Likes
  • 2 Post By YinPrincess
  • 2 Post By SimplyAmorous
  • 1 Post By SlowlyGettingWiser
  • 1 Post By onehotmama

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-02-2012, 04:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5
Default Ladies opinion needed

I need a woman's opinion.

I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy.

Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?
HurtinOhio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Gaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In a swamp!
Posts: 9,747
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Your not a loser in the least... I firmly believe in not judging a book by it's cover. If I were around your age and single... yeah I'd date you. My current man isn't like any of my ex's I've dated before him... which suprised my family and I had gotten teased for it before.. so I'm sure you will find a woman out there who would jump at the opportunity to date you.
Gaia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
lovesherman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,055
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

I would only call you a loser if you lived in your parents' basement, did not have a job, and played video games all day.

Short and balding is OK, but the weight would be a problem for me. I would feel sorry for you, and that is not good for dating.
lovesherman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
YinPrincess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 4,041
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

I've dated all sorts, sizes and colors of men - being a loser, just like being awesome, lies squarely on what kind of person you are, not what you look like.


Posted via Mobile Device
YinPrincess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

I got a job and don't live with parents.
HurtinOhio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Gaia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In a swamp!
Posts: 9,747
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesherman View Post
I would only call you a loser if you lived in your parents' basement, did not have a job, and played video games all day.

Short and balding is OK, but the weight would be a problem for me. I would feel sorry for you, and that is not good for dating.

Weight can always be worked on imo... however I do agree with being jobless and living with parents while playing video games all day would classify as loser quality...
Gaia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 05:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
diwali123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,795
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

No not a loser but I don't think it would work because I do have a lot more experience. I would wonder what led you to that place?
My husband is balding, I think he's sexy. You just need to find someone who is similar to you and gets you.
Posted via Mobile Device
diwali123 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 06:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Browncoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,192
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Not a woman, but I would like to direct you to this thread: What Makes a Man Sexy??

Might find some things in there that might give you more confidence when you do find a special lady to take out. Look for the positive things that describe you, or things you can work on to be more appealing (every man would do well to read that thread )
Browncoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 07:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,454
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by HurtinOhio View Post
I need a woman's opinion.

I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy.

Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?
Some women like shy men...I am one of them (though we are surely in the minority), I have never fallen at the feet of those who think they are God's gift to women. But I am rather visual - that is my hang up.... the weight would be an issue for me.

I once knew a guy who worked with my husband in his younger yrs at the Grocery store... I don't think I ever met anyone as down on himself... he would literally go around and call himself a FUD... I'll never forget the moment I asked him what that meant standing in the grocery store aisle..... he answered ...."a Fat ugly Dork" (he wasn't even that big)..... I guess he thought he was being funny... but that was a bit much. We used to invite him over our house, him & my husband went to guns shows.

No matter who are you, you have some special gifts IN this life...some talents.... what are you good at -what are you passionate about ? Do you make a superb cook? Are you hospitable, can you write, are you a good teacher- maybe in math, History, maybe you are an excellent Bowler, artist, guitarist, photographer....etc etc.

What brings you Joy ? Getting around people who appreciate & share these same passions - may help you build some confidence within yourself.... nobody is a Loser. We can all stand to improve ourselves though.

I only count a Loser someone who destructs other poeple's lives...plenty of those walking around who think they are God's gift doing that.

Sounds like you have a job, are Responsabily taking care of yourself. Build on that.
__________________
"Love Good Blog"
SimplyAmorous is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-02-2012, 08:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Middle USA
Posts: 900
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

It's obviously an issue for you. Do you try to date any women that are 37, 320lbs, 6ft 1 (taller for a woman, opposed to shorter for a male).. - unusually thinning hair for a female... etc... ?

If you've never tried... then ask yourself why?

I'm not trying to be mean... I'm just pointing out that a female in your very similar situation could be very shy also & wouldn't approach you or any other male either. Take a chance.
Chelle D is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 06:40 AM   #11 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 7,454
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

I have met alot of couples that one might be surprised they found a mate....I know 2 in my church, they are both blind, not sure how they met but they are together, happy & bring a great deal of joy to each -it shows on their faces when we see them.

My TAX man has a similar body to yours, he is the nicest man, so excellent at his job- I wouldn't go to anyone else -he is happily married, not sure if they have kids or not, but....so long as you are willing & open to get to know other women who might feel a little shy , similar as yourself...put yourself out there.

You know what they say, I believe it to be true..whatever your sex rank is physically..... we tend to gravitate to what we are, we feel comfortable in that and it has the most likely chance of success also. It simply works this way.

If you want a slimmer woman, you will have to get in a rigorous weight program and loose the weight. There is really no way around this. It will be a ton of hard work, but think of the health benefits alone...you will be so very proud of yourself...setting a goal...and watching the weight shed.

They say if you do something consistently for 17 days straight, then it becomes a "HABIT".... start there.
__________________
"Love Good Blog"
SimplyAmorous is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 08:55 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
SlowlyGettingWiser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: On the cusp of something great!
Posts: 4,302
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Honestly, hurtnohio:

The height: no big deal, I've been with men 5'7 before. Not important to ME.

The balding: no big deal, I've been with guys who were balding. Not important to ME.

The weight: a big deal to ME because it would indicate to me that you are a person who doesn't take care of himself (eating right, exercising) so how can you take care of a SO? Would you be SO FOCUSED on MY wants/needs/happiness that you would be neglecting your own? That is unhealthy and would lead to a 'too needy' relationship. It would indicate to me that you are depressed and don't see enough value in yourself; that would lead ME to think that I would be expected to 'fill you up' with all the emotional support you are lacking. Doesn't work long-term.

The shyness: not a big deal to ME. But, I do want to be with a man who has self-confidence: who feels he is a good person, treats others right, sees value in himself and others.

To be perfectly honest (and maybe it's just ME), I actually deduct 'points' (if you know what I mean) for VERY ATTRACTIVE men. I have found that too many of them think they can skate by on their good looks and charm and are, therefore, unwilling to be a caring attentive partner. They don't HAVE to be. They have found that they can be selfish and self-centered and when their SOs have had enough, there's dozens of more women waiting in line to date them JUST BECAUSE they're good-looking. They can be shallow and self-involved because it's a 'numbers' game with them, and there's always another woman waiting to be 'charmed' by them.
SlowlyGettingWiser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 04:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 37
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. And there is someone for everyone! Put yourself out there
Posted via Mobile Device
onehotmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2012, 07:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
lovelygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,576
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by HurtinOhio View Post
I need a woman's opinion.

I am 37 years old. Weight 320 lbs. 5'7" tall. Balding. Never been out on a date. Never kissed a girl. Am shy.

Would you classify me as a loser? Would you date me as I described myself?
I don't think you're a loser but I think you're a troll.


Also, when do you think you can get rid of your shyness?
When you reach your 80s?
lovelygirl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2012, 07:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
SlowlyGettingWiser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: On the cusp of something great!
Posts: 4,302
Default Re: Ladies opinion needed

Quote:
originally posted by HurtinOhio 08-25-2011 06:25pm

But you did. I am just at the beginning of this and my wife may feel the same way but it is killing me inside.
(note: emphasis added by me)


Well, HurtinOhio, you are a liar (either in Aug or now).

wife? no wife?

troll? not a troll?

hmmm, I've made up MY mind. I thought you were another poster whose sign-in name differs from yours by only ONE letter; that person's posts I've respected. Perhaps someone else who is actually IN this position will read this thread and benefit by it anyway.
SlowlyGettingWiser is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Honest opinion needed from men with 1-sided EA myheart Coping with Infidelity 0 11-23-2012 01:14 PM
WS's opinion needed: What do you do with toxic friends? NatashaYurino Coping with Infidelity 4 11-19-2012 11:42 AM
What you do and don't do for your spouse? Opinion needed. BridgetJones General Relationship Discussion 14 10-11-2012 11:41 AM
Opinion Needed On Follow-up On EA mssherlock22 Coping with Infidelity 16 06-28-2012 08:10 PM
Ladies Opinion!!! sadsoul The Ladies' Lounge 2 09-25-2010 09:36 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:57 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage