my goodness, my sarcasm has been misinterpreted as meanness lately
And thanks for everyone who has answered my ?s.
Back to JennyLynn--I do think you need to have a serious talk with your husband and this friend. You should tell them both separately (first, your husband)--that you're not ok w/ him having people over when you're not there.
You should tell her you don't want her over when you're not both home.
put it this way- I know my wife has "rape" fantasy (I prefer the term ravage fantasy) but she would never in a millions years would actually want to be raped. The fantasy is safe and exciting, the reality is not and quite horrible.
So aside from fantasizing over women that they would have sex with if given the chance, men will fantasize about women that they never could have sex with, including women in the "friend zone" because they know the reality would destroy the friendship.
Let me be clear. I would never partake in the hijacking of a thread, to the extent I did here, if I thought it was truly a hijacking. That YOUtube video was great. All the guys have one answer, the girls another. Just like in our thread. So I think it's safe to say that we guys win by default.
How many guys in that video, right IN FRONT of their gal pals, said "Hell yeah" to the question (and I'm paraphrasing) "would you do her?".
Once THE GIRL shows an interest, it's a done deal. PARTICULARLY considering the amount of effort your guy is putting into her. That's WAY too much time for a girl he's not into.
I'm going to be punished with guy-code karma points for this, I fear. But I've got to say it: there's not a single guy reading this that doesn't know your man wants her. But it's not HIS intent we're worried about, is it?
He will honestly say "we're just friends". If you don't pull the confrontation off right, you lose forever as a jealous control freak who's hubby can't have any friends. Talk about boundaries. Hell, show him that Youtube video. Tell him it was a unanimous decision and he's on the team that has proven he's headed for all bad with her. It's a near guarantee.
Just want to add that I think the onus falls on your husband here. If he respected you at all, he would not be allowing this to happen. He would respect you, your marriage, your home and not be ok with allowing another woman inside to "hang out" while you're not there.
It's not ok. At all.
He has some pretty crappy boundaries.
If you had some guy friend coming over all the time to your house while your husband was away at work, especially some guy who was "flirty" with you, your husband would be pissed. No guy would be ok with that. Well, no guy that cares about you.