That's like telling a guy he can't look at porn. People need outlets.
Not gonna get into a porn debate, but not everyone looks at porn...be it pics, online, or video. I have seen some, yes. Wasn't my thing. My DH is totally against porn. It's religious convictions, and we agree on it. Again, not a debate, just saying not every man uses porn as an "outlet". Not saying that he doesn't find other women attractive. I, of course, certainly find other men attractive. But they are not my "outlets" My DH is, no one else.
Originally Posted by confusedwithconflict View Post
Telling my SO I think about other people during sex is not an appropriate outlet. And no I don't keep secrets from my H.
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And I don't keep secrets from my DH. I used to, and that led to a very long, painful road I do not want to go down again.
People fantasize about others during sex.
It would be hurtful and pointless to share these private fantasies with a sex partner and serve no purpose.
Get over it.
Ugh! Again, not everyone fantasizes about other people during sex! I fantasize about other ACTS, with my HUSBAND during sex. Positions I know I am physically incapable of doing now. Regardless of the act, I have my DH in my mind the whole time.
That said, I can admit that there was a time when I DID think of other men... and it only led to disaster in the bedroom, as well as other aspects of our life. In OUR experience, whether people want to believe it or not, thinking of others took away from our feelings for each other.
Believe what you want. Call me delusional if you choose. But I know from my own experience how those thoughts affected me and my marriage.