I see two issues here the first is control. You have always been in control of the relationship and threated out when you wanted it making him prove he would work at it and proving to you that he loves you. It is hard for you to lose that control and you feel insecure about it.
The second issue is communications. The two of you lack communication.
I.) Communication~ An Open line of communication can build a great relationship, keep it moving or repair it when there is damage to it. In my view there is nothing more important then being able to talk to your partner about every thing. By communicating I know my wife what she wants and what she expects. The lack of communication almost lost a great thing. The ability to communicate not only saved it but strengthened us.
A.) Listen~ A part of communication has to be the ability to listen. No one wants to spill their heart out if the other person isn’t listening or just paying lip service.
1.) Boundaries~ Listen to what your partner thinks as far as limits. Is hugging okay, how about dancing with someone else? Knowing where your boundaries are can keep you from having to repair a relationship.
B.) Acceptance~ You have to be able to accept what you are being told from your partner. Saying you do doesn’t help if you can’t or refuse to use the information.
C.) Sharing~ You must be willing to share the good and the bad of the day or even your dreams to communicate well.
D.) Conflict Resolution~ Use communication to solve your problems. Most arguments are not because people disagree but rather they can’t or will not compromise or they can’t understand what the other wants. Arguing is the worst form of talking because things not meant to be said are out of anger and most arguments would not happen if there was good communication. Relationship Thesis