I recently was reading on another board where a women admitted to using porn. Interestingly she indicated that when she watches porn and uses toys her “toes curl” like no man can do for her. There was other women on TAM that commented on the intensity of a toy-induced O.
I post this question as it relates to the use of toys for women. I have heard allot of people refer to partnered sex as "irreplaceable" and something that can never fully replace partnered sex. Personally sex with a women ads a new dimension to the whole experience as you are trying to please her at the same time. Doing it with your sole mate brings it to a whole new level. On the flip side it is conceivable that a mechanical devise like vibrator may stimulate the entire clitoral area in such a way that could produce an orgasm that may simply be more powerful than one produced by another human. Granted you don't get the simultaneous thing and you may feel funny admitting (to yourself let alone your spouse) and it won't cuddle you, rub your back, tell you you love it or sleep in the wetspot but still..
I don't want for other's to try and hypothesize about why i am asking and how it effects my relationship. I think that some people tend to be politically correct even on an anonomous board like this. I wonder if women hold back on this subject to not hurt, many men's rediculously fragile ego's or whatever. Just looking for some honesty.
It's all different, and it's all good. If I didn't have a partner, I'd be happy with just toys. But I enjoy partnered sex MUCH more, and I'm glad I get that. lol But we do enjoy using--or not using--toys together. It's all about variety.
Honestly, we don't masturbate much, as we have sex together quite often.
I'm a guy, but I'll throw in my $0.02, based on comments by my GF.
When we first started seeing each other, she had a toy that would knock her socks off and curl her hair. It was the only thing that would make her squirt. So yes, the toy could give her something that she wasn't getting from a partner.
Then we connected, both of us looking for a physical relationship. So obviously, there's something a partner could do for her sexually that the toy couldn't.
Since then, I've learned how to rock her g-spot to give her those same orgasms. That toy's motor has burned out (RIP Purple Rabbit!), and she hasn't replaced it. I loved using it on/with her, so it was fine with me if she wanted another one. She has picked up another toy that we really like using on her, but it's really the combination of toy and partner that makes it worthwhile, I'd like to think.
Toe curling happens for me when we use toys together. It also happens when it's just us and no toys, but more frequently when there is toys. It doesn't happen with just toys alone. Maybe I am using the toys wrong
Strictly physiologically, I've had some of my most intense orgasms on my own or w/only toys. I completely control the stimulation, so when the super sensitivity comes following the first orgasm, I can back off a little...or not...& have multiples in much quicker succession.
That said, nothing...& I mean nothing...compares to an orgasm w/a partner-- the connection...grabbing his a$$ & pulling him deeper...feeling his breath...
There's just no intimacy w/toys. They do release that tension & will even make my toes curl, but honestly, they always leave me wanting more.
The stimulation doesn't change or stop unless I want it to. It doesn't take a breather or stop at the crucial moment to ask me if it feels good!!
It doesn't expect me to do anything... I don't have to dress up or suck my tummy in. Infact I don't have to suck anything belonging to it either... it's all about MMMEEEEEEEE
BUT I'd take a session with my man anytime over a toy.
The toy can't kiss me all over or hold my gaze and tell me I'm loved.
Ok I will "man up" and share a personal story here:
I learned how to O with a vibrator. It took me many years to O at all (talking about on my own, not with a partner...). I enjoyed sex but never, ever had an O from it. I would fake or not, depending on the guys ego at the time and whether it felt warranted. These were all guys I was dating...knew it wasn't for the long haul.
Sex was always enjoyable but I would usually take care of finishing the job myself at a later time, unbeknown to them.
It wasn't until I met my hubby that I had the desire to get off the vibrator and attempt to O with a live person. This was because I loved him, knew we would be together for a long time, and did not want to fake with him. He was also the most patient and least needy partner I ever had (needy as in needing self assurance that he was doing a good job, constantly asking if I like what he's doing, etc.) He was the first person I was able to let my haird down with to even try to learn. It took me a long time to learn how, and I had to completely ditch the vibrator to do it. It took a combination of getting off hormonal BC, gaining back the sensation lost from the vibrator, and a lot of patience and learning on his end (he was pretty inexperienced when we started dating).
Now, hubby can make me O. I do still own a vibrator and use it solo once in a blue moon (they are more often used together). No matter what hubby does, the vibrator will always give a more intense finish. Part of it is mechanics, part of it is mental....it is much easier for me to completely relax and let go when alone, not worrying about someone elses pleasure. However I still crave HIM.
I watch porn too, and porn has always been an aid to fantasize about the real thing. There's nothing like the real thing. Even if he can't make me O as hard, I still want him, in a completely physical lust kind of way. (For me its not so much about emotional connection and all that.) I have thought about this a lot and its funny how the mind works. Must be biology, our deepest instincts right. If vibrators were 100% the replacement for men how would we continue the species? Posted via Mobile Device
I have used the Hitachi Magic Wand for years. It gives me stronger orgasms than I have had with a man. These orgasms help me sleep and relieve tension. I masturbate approximately three to four times a week. I rarely use porn.
However I prefer to have sex. The orgasms might not be as strong but there are more of them. Also my orgasms during sex often take my breath away. They are more satisfying. As far as I'm concerned, masturbation is not sex. It's like using a back scratcher to ease an itching back. It gets the job done but it's an inanimate object therefore there is no lingering warm memory. I would never be satisfied with masturbation alone. Sex is interactive. Much of the pleasure derives from being desired and pleasuring my partner. It also leaves a warm connected feeling to another person especially when I already have feelings for that person.
Sometimes women say they are vibrator dependent or are satisfied only through the use of a vibrator. I've been using mine for 22 years. I am not dependent on it. I easily orgasm during sex and have multiple orgasms if given the chance. I will choose partner sex over the vibrator anytime. Perhaps some women do not desire an emotional connection or have not yet discovered how to orgasm during sex. I don't know but I know for me, the vibrator is merely a means to relaxation when I'm being denied regular sex. Posted via Mobile Device