DiZ

I am going through this and it has been hard. Mostly the migraines and mood swings. I have been on HRT for a year and it helped but one cannot stay on it long due to increase of chance of breast cancer. My mom was on it for 10 years and did get breast cancer and one breast removed.

I am retired so when I get a migraine I am able to take something and sleep through it.

My husband has been pretty good but his EA of course added to my sadness which is the big emotion I have been feeling during menopause. I am on an anti-depressant and it has helped but when I found out about his EA no pill could help that.

The biggest mood I feel like I said is sadness. I cry for no reason and cannot even explain it to anyone even myself. This was going on before his EA and of course more after.

Now that he has stopped all contact with the woman I am better but still feel sad. It has been getting better and when I feel like crying I usually just go in the bathroom and come out. He can tell I've been crying but I don't let him comfort me and don't talk about it which I know is wrong. I just don't want to keep bringing up the EA over and over but it runs over and over in my head. Not a day goes by that I don't think of it.

Can anyone relate?

Peachy Cat

Yes, I can relate.

I started menopause early (I was 37) so my doctor didn't diagnose all my missed periods, manic/depressive type behavior, weight loss, insomnia and migraines as menopause related. I wondered, for several years, what was wrong with me! I was already on Celexa for depression, thank goodness, or I think it would have been much worse.

I separated from my H during my Peri-menopausal time, and it was really difficult. I cried a lot. I felt hopeless and sad all the time. I was SO HAPPY to be away from him and the crap, but I felt isolated and scared. I thought I might have some kind of female cancer and I had no insurance at the time... it was really a bad time for me and not knowing what was wrong made it horrible.

I'm past it now (YAY), so I just deal with hot flashes, night sweats, ugly, loose skin and not so perky breasts... it sucks, but at least I know I'm not going crazy. AND, the jerk is gone, so that helps, too.

I smoke, have never had children and have a family history of numerous cancers (all HUGE risk factors), so I chose not to use HRT at all. Sometimes, in the midst of a really bad hot flash, I think the cancer risk might be worth not always feeling sweaty... but, then the flash passes and I go on-LOL.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and I wish I had good advice... all I can say is: It DOES eventually get easier.

DiZ

OMG how did I forget to mention the hot flashes. They are better. I think I may be coming to the end of it all I hope.

I gained weight around the middle and am trying to loose that.

cherokee96red

I can so relate to this. Started dealing with the big M sometime in my 40's. Add to this the empty nest syndrome, a brain tumor, and for good measure a STBXH revealing that he's not coming home and moves in with Trampasaurus Wrecks. No HRT therapy, no meds of any kind. But I am now down to dealing with the occasional hotflash (which sucks in the midst of a FL summer) and nightsweats. Like my marriage, this too shall pass.

__________________
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

lamaga

I was actually so thankful to be single during M...I had night sweats something awful, and the cold and the hot and the cold and the hot...even my dog got annoyed and wouldn't sleep on the bed with me!

Phenix70

Thank you for posting this!!
I've never carried weight around my middle & I couldn't figure out why I'm losing weight everywhere else but gaining around the middle.
Now I know it's not my imagination & I could be getting ready to start the Big M.

MEM11363

You should handle those situations (bathroom crying) as you like. Realize though that you can let him hug/hold you without talking about anything.

DiZ

You are right.

It is hard being so emotional though. I am sensitive to begin with and now with the big M I seem to be twice as much.

okeydokie

i'm very sorry for what you have been through, but this brightened my day

Hope1964

I can also relate. I'm in premenopause and have found that most if not all of my symptoms are alleviated by using a natural progesterone cream. HRT is something I never want to do.

I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Lee's books about premenopause and menopause. They're awesome.

Books

__________________
Curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want ~ Spock
FOR CWI NEWBIES
~My story~
Understanding the Pain - required reading for WS's
Help for sex addicts and their spouse

turnera

I'm taking a weight loss course at the gym (Lifetime) and learned that gaining weight around the middle is due to different things, nutritionally speaking, than gaining weight around the hips:
Glucose regulation is probably the single most important health matter that you can control. With diabetes and obesity skyrocketing in the United States, the problem of glucose and insulin imbalance should be on the priority list of everyone. This issue not only leads to diabetes, but a host of other conditions and diseases, especially weight gain. It directly affects how we process the foods we eat and convert it to energy—or fat. When insulin is out of balance, we are more likely to increase fat and store it in our midsection. That not only adds on the pounds but also creates a host of other health problems as well. Some experts believe that excessive insulin is the number one factor that drives the aging process. Luckily, with a change in diet and regular exercise you can bring your insulin back in balance.

Enchantment

Hi DiZ ~

I am going through perimenopause now and yes, having a hard time with some of the physical and emotional issues that it involves.

I also have severe migraines since being in this phase of my life. I have found that taking extra Magnesium (I take 600 mg a day) and extra riboflavin (I take about 300 mg a day) have made a difference. Most people who get migraines are over-calcified (they have too much calcium in their bodies) and are under-magnified (they have too little magnesium in their bodies).

I have found that I do have more mood swings in general, and that trying to come to grips with aging and a changing body can be difficult at times. I would imagine if your H had an EA, then that could be doubly hard. Do you have anyone that you can talk to about this? What have you and your husband done to reconcile after his EA? Have you gone to any counseling - alone or together?

Someone also mentioned weight gain aorund the middle, which is common during menopause because the body tries to hang on to as much estrogen as it can, and belly fat is one of the best places for it to be stored. Doggone belly fat anyway!

Best wishes.

__________________

Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

Peachy Cat

I STILL do this!

The hot flashes have been the worst part of it and I still have them regularly--all during the day and at night. I sleep with a fan on my bedside table and I turn it on me, off me, on me, off me... all night long, usually without even waking up

It was hard to get used to "aging" so quickly... wow! I mean, it's like one minute I was 37, strong, active, could easily pass for a 30 year old... and 3 years later I'm a middle-aged woman who looks older than her 46 years. Most people think I'm the "older sister" when they meet me and my sister who is 2 years older than me.

Peachy Cat

About the migraines...

I had never had one in my life until menopause started when I was 37. For a while I was having about one a week. After a few months it was once or twice a month. Now, I get one about every 4 months.

I take Maxalt, sleep for 4-6 hours and wake up feeling hung over but able to hold my head up!