I've only read the first page, but if all this "good stuff" co-exists with an otherwise angry, unhappy person who is verbally or emotionally abusive, well, I can do most of the stuff you list myself, and without the abuse. I don't know enough to respond directly to your situation, but wanted to point out that your list sounds pretty one sided and "too good to be true," so I'm responding as I have. Good luck.
I've already stated a few times that those are things spouses are SUPPOSED to be doing but a lot of them aren't, and that when my wife starts accusing me of not contributing anything around the house that it pisses me off because I DO help her with all of those tasks every single week.
Can you recreate some of the early days together? Sometimes remembering where you started and the reasons that you fell in love refreshes things. If not that, can you each make out lists of things you enjoy, used to enjoy, or would love to try together and take turns working through each other's list?
It seems like you're unhappy with the way it is and unhappy with the prospect of leaving. So, what do you think would have to happen in the marriage in order for you to feel happier and more satisfied?
That even makes me more sad. Sometimes I feel like he misrepresented himself at the beginning. He was nothing like he is now. Oh I know one does the best foot forward thing when you first meet, but this was excessive.
Then when he got me he lost his job and part of his sight due to retina issues. I understand that would change someone.
Yes, but abuse washes all the good things away. One bad word cancels out 10 good words.
I keep seeing the words "abuse" when 99% of the time it's a mutual arguement where I am being called some very ugly things too, and we BOTH have bad tempers and I've watched my wife throw and break a few things too. So it's not like she is huddled in the corner shivering while I am screaming obscenities at her, because my wife can hang with the best of them during a heated moment and some of the things that come out of her mouth would make a hardcore biker blush.
Well those are my qualities and are all the things that I do in the marriage, and those hateful words by me that_girl only started taking place about 2-3 years ago after I started to feel unappreciated and disrespected by her.
And with all the things I just listed, she still makes me feel like those are all petty and it's what every husband is out there doing which is so untrue.
Dang dude....you and I are twins. Except I'm only 5' 10". Lol. I do all those things you mentioned too and was never shown any appreciation other than a pat on the back and a "thank you".
......would you be satisfied with a man who had these qualities going for him?
- has a good heart and good sense of humor.
- is good in bed and is willing to take care of your "special needs" during sex.
- not a partying type anymore and spends most of his time with you, instead of being out with friends or doing whatever.
- works full time and brings home a decent salary.
- is a good cook and is willing to share that load with you.
- never forgets any of the important dates(birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day, etc).
- helps out with the laundry, vacumming, dishes, and does most of the yardwork.
I have a man like this and i can tell you I am very satisfied. Everyone has their flaws and issues but I'm the happiest,most content,and most satisfied I've ever been.
This song and lyrics by Marc Anthony really nails it on the head on how I'm feeling in my marriage right now:
"Am I The Only One" (Marc Anthony)
Days have passed
And still no sign of us
Not a hint of what used to be
When you lived in that part of me
This blinding silence
Lives in every room
Of what once was a happy home
Now we’re sitting here all alone
Could this be that it was all a lie
And we’re just afraid to say good-bye
{Chorus:}
Am I the only one
Who sees what we’ve become
I see no sense in going on
Or asking what went wrong
We sit and stare at what could be
We both just grew apart you see
And through no fault of our own
It’s our house but not a home
It’s strange to know
There’s truth in what I say
Baby, I know you feel the same
and the truth is
No one’s to blame
Two lonely dreamers
Playing by the rules
All we thought of
Was me and you
Now we’re faced
With a simple truth
I’d love to say that this is all a lie
But that just means I’m scared to say good-bye
{Repeat Chorus}
Could this be that it was a lie
And we’re just afraid to say good-bye
{Repeat Chorus}
Days have passed
And still no sign of us
Not a hint of what used to be
When you lived in that part of me
that is actually a red flag to me, you can spend to much time with someone and friends are important.
Maybe a red flag on her part because I would very much LIKE to be off somewhere with my friends having a good time, but I know how she feels about it so I have cut waaaaay down on all that type stuff.
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Re: Ladies; would you be satisfied with a man... 
