Is he cheating

fredfoxw28 · 04-09-2009, 08:37 PM

The other day I mentioned that my cousin was having an affair to my husband and he reacted like he was not phased. So I did some snooping of my own and found out that my husband has been emailing a girl from HS on facebook for about two weeks, platonic conversation. Except he was confiding in her about our sex life I did not appreciate that then yesterday he has the girl and minimizes the screen when i walk by twice. I sent the girl a friend request and i am waiting for a reply because I know she would mention it to him. He thinks something is wrong because I am being distant but i can't help it. Any thoughts?

827Aug · 04-09-2009, 09:12 PM

I believe you are handling the situation well. Is he complaining to her about your sex life? Although I don't think it is appropriate for him to be discussing your/his sex life with her at all, it could be a warning sign if he is COMPLAINING. If he is complaining, it could be to let her know he isn't satisfied in his current relationship.

sisters359 · 04-10-2009, 11:48 PM

You should focus on the fact that he is dissatisfied with the sexual relationship; that's what is important. You could make a difference now by asking him what he'd like to add to or change about your sex life. This allows him to respond without worrying that he is threatening or criticizing you. If he says "nothing," don't give up too easily. Mention a couple of things you would like to try/change/etc. Keep the conversation going, and just let him know you are interested in making your sex life as good as possible and you think it is a good idea to do "check ups" on an occasional basis.

As for what is going on with FB, I'm not sure you can tell anything by what he is saying. I have one male friend to whom I'd tell anything b/c i value his input and know he has my best interest at heart. I do not have any special feelings for him. It is the fact that I need *any* input from a man other than my husband that is the issue.

I hope you find your way through this. Good luck.

revitalizedhusband · 04-13-2009, 11:24 AM

No, he's not cheating, but sisters is right, you should focus on what he isn't happy with right now, your sex life.

Try to spice it up, find out what he wants to try/do and do it (within reason).

Fix the symptoms and the problem should go away.

makingmymarriagework · 04-13-2009, 02:29 PM

First of all, don't confront him in an accusatory tone. Talk to your husband. Ask him if he's happy with your intimacy. It's quite possible that he's happy, but wants to be adventourous (new positions, toys, etc) If that's the case, visit some websites that will help you enhance your sex life. As far as the HS friend, I don't think there's anything going on there. Sometimes men just need a woman's sexual point of view. For all you know, he could be asking her for advice on how to please YOU. I don't know your sexual routine, but if you feel like it needs some spicing up, do it! f you have kids, send them to bed early and have fun time with hubby. Explore dif ferent ways to make it enjoyable. I've given my fiance oral sex with peppermints in my mouth, and another time with an ice cube, and it blew his mind.Be adventerous and willing to try new things. Good luck.

Shoto1984 · 04-13-2009, 04:36 PM

Wow, all great replies here. Look at the situation as an opportunity to communicate and get closer. Just make sure that you're not judgemental if you are able to get him to talk. My grandmother used to say that a well tended garden has no weeds. I don't think she had sex or relationships in mind........but then again maybe she did! LOL