Re: Private lap dance at strip club
I think I screwed up today. My H and I celebrated our 24th anniversary this week. I am little depressed because I feel our marriage is somehow tainted now because of the private lap dance(s) he got at the strip club. My H could tell something was wrong and kept asking me why I was so down. I finally sent him an email this morning expressing how I felt about our anniversary and how our marriage didn't feel sacred anymore. I told him I still cannot get over what he did and probably wouldn't get over it until I knew exactly what happened. The problem is, as I mentioned above, he blacked out and can't remember much after a certain point in the night. I told him not knowing what happened is more hurtful as I can't find closure and just keep imagining the worst. He says NOTHING happened....he'd remember if something happened. (I have to disagree that having a naked woman rubbing all over him and putting her boobs and vag in his face and her grinding all over his IS something!!!) Today I was begging him to tell me what happened and he said he swears he would tell me more if he could remember and that he has nothing to hide. I just can't believe he can't remember bits and pieces of the dance, the stripper(s), etc. Even if he said she was a little old, or chubby, or too skinny I'd probably feel better but he's not providing ANY details. I asked him a million questions like this and he said he told me EVERYTHING he knows. Sometimes I think he's just trying to protect me from the truth. I don't think he had sex, but if he said yes to vip dance in the first place how do i know he didn't say yes to a hj or bj, especially if he was drugged? I don't think I can feel worse than I already do and I'm probably imagining things a lot more erotic and sensual than they were, so I feel like he has nothing to lose by telling me. He said he remembers the bouncer asking him if he wanted to go to the vip room, he remember someone bringing him a drink, he remembers his wallet sitting on the arm of the couch, then missing, then someone handing it to him later. He remembers the bouncer coming in during the lap dance and asking him if he wanted to more (as in LD) and he said YES! He vaguely remembers signing one receipt (although they all looked forged -- we got copies to dispute charges). He remembers trying to figure out how to get to Grand Central station, but has no idea how he got there. Assuming I won't get any more details (and maybe he honestly doesn't remember) how do I get beyond this? Tonight he came home from work and we haven't spoken to each other all night. I don't think either of us deserve how we're treating each other, but I just can't let this go! I think if I went to this club, saw the girls and saw first hand what went on during a private lap dance I could probably get over it so quickly. My husband said he will never step foot in another strip club again, whether I'm with him or not. I'd go with girlfriends, but I don't think you're allowed in without a guy. If anyone has any suggestions how I can make light of this situation, or can tell me about this specific club please send me a PM and I will tell you what club. Thanks for listening!