Please help
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

The Ladies' Lounge Sharing and support.

Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By CallaLily

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-28-2012, 10:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 12
Default Please help

I posted the post below about a week ago. Since then I found out a couple of more things. MY husband is always lying. It could be about anything. Today I found more porn DVD's and then I found "hidden" in his watch container a couple of Viagra pills.

Please know that I realize I'm driving myself nuts over this. We haven't had sex for over a year. He doesn't want it. Yet, I find pills?

My gut tell me he's cheating. I'm sick over this and I can't concentrate. People tell me to leave. It's not that easy "for me". I don't know why. I'm seeing a therapist today.

I want him to admit he's cheating. We are high school sweethearts and together for about 22 years. I'm only 38. I know I deserve better and I deserve to be happy but this is so hard. We have separated in the past. I left him for his drinking, arrests, etc. He stopped drinking and he got his old job back as the director of operations. He wanted to get back together so I did.

I would love and appreciate your opinion, even men. Now I know the true meaning of a broken heart.

The former post is below.



I haven't had sex with my husband in over a year. I catch him watching porn on T.V and the answer I get is "it's different". Recently, he's been acting weird. He has this attitude about him that basically screams I don't respect my wife (which he admits). He's been coming home a little later than usual, he ignores texts or phone calls. I came across 2 charges on the credit card bill (VOD) and he said he had no clue how the charges got there. I'm pretty good w/ computers and just basic common sense. I researched and found the website which is porn videos and in order to log in you need your email address. So, I figured he must use his work email and our usual password. BINGO. I got right into his account. I viewed the history and it also states the video that was viewed, the date and time. He looks at the videos at home BUT somewhere else as well. The time frame is when he is apparently at work. Ok, so..where? I know he can't go on his work computer. Oh, during this time I also found a stain in his boxers when doing laundry(TMI I know but I want to give the facts). I just confronted him with all of this and he denies it! He said he looks at it at home.
In the past 4 days he viewed 195 videos just on this site.
I'm at the end of my rope with the lies. I'm thinking he's also cheating on me because he is so wrapped up in his little world. I need some opinions. Does this sound like porn addiction? Cheating? I'm so unhappy and I feel so neglected as a wife and I feel that nobody can really understand how I feel unless they have experienced this. It's a hopeless feeling.
Any feedback is appreciated.
CrayinNH is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-28-2012, 10:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
CallaLily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,546
Default Re: Please help

If in fact he is cheating and he admits it, then what?
__________________
CallaLily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 10:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 12
Default Re: Please help

I know this sounds crazy but this would be the push I need. I would leave his sorry ass or make him leave.
CrayinNH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 10:39 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 166
Default Re: Please help

Why not MC? don't sound like an affair but more like one nite stand(s) if that. but if my husband did not have sex in a year he would be watching my porn then that.
justwhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 10:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
CallaLily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,546
Default Re: Please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrayinNH View Post
I know this sounds crazy but this would be the push I need. I would leave his sorry ass or make him leave.
Are you sure? He convinced you to come back after drinking and his arrests. Its not likely he will admit it, my guess is you need to find out for sure on your own. I think finding the Viagra is a red flag for sure.
__________________
CallaLily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 10:55 AM   #6 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 12
Default Re: Please help

I did confront him and he's hanging up on me, not answering my emails, or text messages.
CrayinNH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 10:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
CallaLily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,546
Default Re: Please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrayinNH View Post
I did confront him and he's hanging up on me, not answering my emails, or text messages.
Not good! Maybe you need to consult a lawyer and get your ducks in a row ahead of time. Unless you already know what your plan is.
__________________
CallaLily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 11:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 166
Default Re: Please help

Do you want your marriage? Because if he tell you the truth you leaving anyway so why don't you move on?
justwhy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 11:14 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Toffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,784
Default Re: Please help

Porn addiction at the minimum!
Toffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2012, 11:34 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Jamison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,000
Default Re: Please help

Whether its porn addiction, an affair etc, there seems to be some issues that need to be addressed with your husband, He has already been arrested for drinking etc. YOU are going to have to decide what you want out of YOUR life. Even if its not an affair but porn addiction, he needs some help, period. You will need to get to the bottom of what is truly going on though. No matter what it may or may not be, you have to decide what you will and will not live with. Its up to him to get some help for drinking, and porn addictions or whatever he has going on with himself.
Jamison is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:42 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage