I posted the post below about a week ago. Since then I found out a couple of more things. MY husband is always lying. It could be about anything. Today I found more porn DVD's and then I found "hidden" in his watch container a couple of Viagra pills.
Please know that I realize I'm driving myself nuts over this. We haven't had sex for over a year. He doesn't want it. Yet, I find pills?
My gut tell me he's cheating. I'm sick over this and I can't concentrate. People tell me to leave. It's not that easy "for me". I don't know why. I'm seeing a therapist today.
I want him to admit he's cheating. We are high school sweethearts and together for about 22 years. I'm only 38. I know I deserve better and I deserve to be happy but this is so hard. We have separated in the past. I left him for his drinking, arrests, etc. He stopped drinking and he got his old job back as the director of operations. He wanted to get back together so I did.
I would love and appreciate your opinion, even men. Now I know the true meaning of a broken heart.
The former post is below.
I haven't had sex with my husband in over a year. I catch him watching porn on T.V and the answer I get is "it's different". Recently, he's been acting weird. He has this attitude about him that basically screams I don't respect my wife (which he admits). He's been coming home a little later than usual, he ignores texts or phone calls. I came across 2 charges on the credit card bill (VOD) and he said he had no clue how the charges got there. I'm pretty good w/ computers and just basic common sense. I researched and found the website which is porn videos and in order to log in you need your email address. So, I figured he must use his work email and our usual password. BINGO. I got right into his account. I viewed the history and it also states the video that was viewed, the date and time. He looks at the videos at home BUT somewhere else as well. The time frame is when he is apparently at work. Ok, so..where? I know he can't go on his work computer. Oh, during this time I also found a stain in his boxers when doing laundry(TMI I know but I want to give the facts). I just confronted him with all of this and he denies it! He said he looks at it at home.
In the past 4 days he viewed 195 videos just on this site.
I'm at the end of my rope with the lies. I'm thinking he's also cheating on me because he is so wrapped up in his little world. I need some opinions. Does this sound like porn addiction? Cheating? I'm so unhappy and I feel so neglected as a wife and I feel that nobody can really understand how I feel unless they have experienced this. It's a hopeless feeling.
Any feedback is appreciated.