Oh hell hell hell noooooo.... I'm sorry, but he sounds like he thinks he can talk you into anything. I don't care how much she paid him, that relationship needs to end immediately.
About the cell phone... I know men that have two cell phones. One with their wife and one with their girlfriend. Pleeeaaassseeeee... he is full of crap.
That woman should be afraid of you, not asking you to babysit! OMG... If she is not afraid that you are going to kick her ass sideways and your husband is not afraid that you are going to poison him in his sleep if he doesn't drop that chick, then they are both taking advantage of you.
The other woman needs to be out of his life... period... before you get your feelings hurt.
Sorry for my unintended crudeness, but let's just say that with as much disdain that I possess for my STBXW, and for that matter, even for my ex, that on my worst day I would have never entertained bringing into our house a strange piece of stuff and then offering up such a flimsy excuse to either of them so I could tap it right there in their presence; and then for grins, to finish off the day by tapping them too.
Had that come to fruition, let's just say that I would have never lived long enough to be commenting about it here on TAM!
You can paint this story with any color that you may want, but in the end it still comes out with a rich hue of being "boldly sick!"
On the positive note,
It is good that you are pursuing a bachelor's degree and working.
It means that the power differential that now exist in the relationship can be reversed.
You love him and your family. You are educated and gainfully employed,and have a positive attitude. It's him that needs fixing.
Go to the Individual Counselling,and if he agrees,then marriage counselling. The most important thing is to make up you mind,so that when the time is right, you just open the door and " let the bullets rip."
I want to thank everyone for their opinions and advice. I wanted some outside opinions and advice since I have NOONE to talk to about this situation because it has been kept between us 3. I ashamed of what I done and don't know how I'm gonna come back from this. But, I know I will. I need time to think out my decision and try to work it out with my husband. I know that first things first, she GOTS to go! So, that's where I'm gonna start and if that doesn't get solved then I know I need to get a divorce and move on.
I want to thank everyone for their opinions and advice. I wanted some outside opinions and advice since I have NOONE to talk to about this situation because it has been kept between us 3. I ashamed of what I done and don't know how I'm gonna come back from this. But, I know I will. I need time to think out my decision and try to work it out with my husband. I know that first things first, she GOTS to go! So, that's where I'm gonna start and if that doesn't get solved then I know I need to get a divorce and move on.
Hunny...Ima call you hunny because i am talking to you like a friend right now.
As a friend, I am crying for you. You are so meek and mild, he really has you under his thumb. Don't you see your self worth and beauty? Do you not understand the disgusting situation you are in? Out of weakness you agreed to this bullshet and out of weakness you allow him to devalue you and tell you to 'relax".
But i see a beautiful woman! A woman who bore THREE children. A woman who endured 3 pregnancies and 3 births for what...for this? HELL NO.
IC would help you understand why you stay with soemone who thinks so poorly of you. This man thinks you are weak and a doormat. Why? What demons do you possess that allow you to think this is ok? Daddy issues? believe me, I've worked thrhough mine which made me endure this type of crap for a long time (not with H).
Also, where is you voice? You say you are saved now, which is awesome...i applaud anyone who seeks out a spiritual path...but...the God I believe in wouldn't want you to suffer like this, UNLESS you plan to get out. There are two ways of looking at this.
1. turn the other cheek and work a plan.
2. tell him to eff off and work a plan.
i understand your struggle with being a follower of Jesus and doing the right thing, but damnit, as Jesus' child, STAND UP, and say this is NOT RIGHT.
To be blunt, this man effed another woman in front of you. Not just infront of you, but in front of GOD and his Son. As a Christian, it is your duty, is it not, to tell a fellow believer that he is sinning...i was raised Christian.
Your husband is a first-class douchbag. Scum of scum, as judged by man. I don't know how God sees him, as I am only human, but for GOD SAKE, help yourslef and stand up and say NO MORE! Do what God would want.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
God bless.
I've decided tonight as I lock him out of our room that I will be working out a plan to execute on.
I've decided tonight as I lock him out of our room that I will be working out a plan to execute on.
Now,that's what i'm talking about!!
I love it when a woman can stand firm against the tyranny of a man.
Make sure and fix your " inner self" so that when that door opens ,bullets must rrrrip out.....
Ebony, I've read your painful post with tears in my eyes. I know how hard it is to leave; I know the feeling of wanting a better alternative than just walking away because I've been dealing with this with my own husband - and honestly, yours makes mine look like a saint!! You've already received such excellent advice here that I can't really elaborate on it, but I just wanted you to know that I care, and I feel so deeply for you. I am praying that you find the strength to do what needs to be done. He doesn't respect you, and chances are, he never will - at least not until you respect yourself!
I need an update on what went on with this situation, ma. Like many of the other posters said, homeboy has taken complete advantage of you. I know how it feels to have a child with someone and not want to split up your family, especially you with 17 years under your belt, but don't let that be a reason for him to be able to do whatever he wants! Men know that we dread that happening and use it against us. My maybe-ex does it all the time--throws up the kids in every argument we have. Don't look at it like you're ending your marriage if you leave; look at it like you're giving him a chance to man up and put you where you need to be--FIRST!!
I'm just so angry as a Black woman to read this. We are supposed to be the queens of our households but our men treat us like crap. I know you have logistics to take into consideration here (3 kids, not working, in school), but please don't be no fool. Some way or another you will make it. We always do.
149Likes
Re: Menage a Trois gone wrong....so wrong 
right now. I have to make an exit sooner than I thought.
