After another rejection by a man I really liked, I have come to the conclusion that it is, and always has been me. Everyone else in this world can attract a partner, but me. I know I am ugly, but I have seen women more homely then me who always seem to have a loving boyfriend. Then of course there are my friends who are all very beautiful women who have never had to spend a second alone because they always have a line of men who are dying to be their boyfriends.
What are some things that could make a woman completely undesirable to men like I am? I take good care of myself, I am educated, I have a nice, athletic body. I wear just a little makeup, I have a decent car, have my own home, I smell nice. I am friendly and open, strangers are always starting conversations with me when waiting in lines or what have you. I have a truly wonderful life, but the only thing missing in my life is love and companionship. I am so, so lonely, I literally feel like its killing me. Soon I will be past my child bearing years, and then I feel like I will really be worthless to men. All I want, just once, is to know what its like to be appreciated and loved by a man. Even if its just for a week. How on earth do I make that happen? Ladies, help me out here please!
After another rejection by a man I really liked, I have come to the conclusion that it is, and always has been me. Everyone else in this world can attract a partner, but me. I know I am ugly, but I have seen women more homely then me who always seem to have a loving boyfriend. Then of course there are my friends who are all very beautiful women who have never had to spend a second alone because they always have a line of men who are dying to be their boyfriends.
What are some things that could make a woman completely undesirable to men like I am? I take good care of myself, I am educated, I have a nice, athletic body. I wear just a little makeup, I have a decent car, have my own home, I smell nice. I am friendly and open, strangers are always starting conversations with me when waiting in lines or what have you. I have a truly wonderful life, but the only thing missing in my life is love and companionship. I am so, so lonely, I literally feel like its killing me. Soon I will be past my child bearing years, and then I feel like I will really be worthless to men. All I want, just once, is to know what its like to be appreciated and loved by a man. Even if its just for a week. How on earth do I make that happen? Ladies, help me out here please!
Being able to (or not to) bear children has almost no bearing on how a man will view you.
I of course don't go around discussing my ugliness, especially not to men. I mean, everyone can see me, so its not like its a secret, or something that needs to be discussed. Thats why men only want to be with me in secret, never as anything in public or real like a boyfriend.
By who's standards am I ugly? Everyones.
Yes, I have good personal hygiene, hair is cute, clothes look nice on me. I have played hard though (I am kind of a rough and tumble country girl sometimes too), and not only do I have ugly features, I have had a couple injuries to my face and body that have left me fairly scarred. I broke my (already big) nose as child, falling off of a swing set. And then as a young teen was in a wreck that resulted in multiple teeth exiting my head out of my lips and cheek, and broke my leg that resulted in needing 2 surgeries. The drs quit counting stitches they put in my face at something like 100.
Mavash Mostly. I know I am an amazing, strong, powerful woman both inside and out.
Conrad my clock isn't necessarily ticking to have babies. I don't even really like kids that much, they wouldn't fit into my life style, and I don't think I could ever ruin my body like that. My clock is ticking (LOUDLY) for companionship, to be valued. This might sound super corny, but I just want to know what its like to make love, to have a man being there with me and truly me, not just masturbating inside of me.
The one relationship I have had, was nearly a decade ago, and was very short lived. How can I be in my mid 30s, and tell a man anything about me and still have him want to be with me? Telling my real past, my real story, being how I look, there isn't a man in this world who won't run screaming.
Edit; you seem insecure, a touch needy even. You dont 'need' a man/bf or whatever.
Those thoughts and feelings will come out through your behaviors and will scare off your prospectors faster than screaming "HE'S GOT A GUN!!!" in a crowded mall.
I love this. I can't stress how important this is. No guy likes 10 inches of make up on a woman.
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have a decent car, have my own home
Same as the education thing
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I am friendly and open
This is great again. Approaching a woman is a hard thing for most men to do. When the woman turns out to be friendly&open, her attractiveness goes through the roof.
Regarding aesthetics, a new haircut can transform the way a woman looks if you're self concious. And yes as you can tell most of the positive traits I pointed out are physical because frankly, men are visual creatures. You may notice a pattern that it's mostly women who look for things like confidence, intelligence etc when seeking out men, men are not wired the same way. You can be the most confident person in the world but it doesn't mean you'll turn heads. Men can very easily overlook a lack of self confidence or intelligence if they have a knock-out with them, women are not the same way.
Confidence, self-respect, an open attitude, being educated, and the ability to listen and be listened to are of paramount importance. Beauty is only skin deep, but if you are having some problems in accepting yourself, plan on having a makeover. Those people will give you expert advise and will also instill a lot of confidence in you about yourself. Sometimes only a minimum of physical or psychological tweaking is necessary.
Do not belittle or be judgmental. Kid or tease only when you've reached the appropriate rapport with your date. Trust in yourself and just be yourself; and don't say or do something solely because you think it will enhance yourself to the other person. Be natural and most importantly, be the person that God has meant for you to be! I absolutely wish you the very best, my dear!
I had a conversation with a friend a few months back. She said pretty much the same things you have. She thinks she's ugly. She doesn't believe any man is serious when he DOES show attention. She thinks that if a man asks her out, he's only looking for one thing: sex. It couldn't possibly be that he wants a real relationship with her... because, as she states, she is ugly. Her biological clock is ticking very loud...and she is not even 30 yet. She has a few years to go. But, she has determined that 30 is her cut off.
IBHFA, the best way to attract a man? Confidence. It doesn't matter if you are a statuesque model or a homely woman. If you walk with your head held high, they will notice...in a GOOD way. If you walk along like you are ashamed to even be alive, they will notice also, but not the way you want. Don't focus on trying to get a man...focus on YOU, boosting your confidence. You need to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you.
I had a conversation with a friend a few months back. She said pretty much the same things you have. She thinks she's ugly. She doesn't believe any man is serious when he DOES show attention. She thinks that if a man asks her out, he's only looking for one thing: sex. It couldn't possibly be that he wants a real relationship with her... because, as she states, she is ugly. Her biological clock is ticking very loud...and she is not even 30 yet. She has a few years to go. But, she has determined that 30 is her cut off.
IBHFA, the best way to attract a man? Confidence. It doesn't matter if you are a statuesque model or a homely woman. If you walk with your head held high, they will notice...in a GOOD way. If you walk along like you are ashamed to even be alive, they will notice also, but not the way you want. Don't focus on trying to get a man...focus on YOU, boosting your confidence. You need to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you.
And conversely, this very same advice goes for the guys trying to attract the gals as well!
I of course don't go around discussing my ugliness, especially not to men. I mean, everyone can see me, so its not like its a secret, or something that needs to be discussed. Thats why men only want to be with me in secret, never as anything in public or real like a boyfriend.
By who's standards am I ugly? Everyones.
Yes, I have good personal hygiene, hair is cute, clothes look nice on me. I have played hard though (I am kind of a rough and tumble country girl sometimes too), and not only do I have ugly features, I have had a couple injuries to my face and body that have left me fairly scarred. I broke my (already big) nose as child, falling off of a swing set. And then as a young teen was in a wreck that resulted in multiple teeth exiting my head out of my lips and cheek, and broke my leg that resulted in needing 2 surgeries. The drs quit counting stitches they put in my face at something like 100.
Mavash Mostly. I know I am an amazing, strong, powerful woman both inside and out.
Conrad my clock isn't necessarily ticking to have babies. I don't even really like kids that much, they wouldn't fit into my life style, and I don't think I could ever ruin my body like that. My clock is ticking (LOUDLY) for companionship, to be valued. This might sound super corny, but I just want to know what its like to make love, to have a man being there with me and truly me, not just masturbating inside of me.
The one relationship I have had, was nearly a decade ago, and was very short lived. How can I be in my mid 30s, and tell a man anything about me and still have him want to be with me? Telling my real past, my real story, being how I look, there isn't a man in this world who won't run screaming.
I believe I recall your post before. Worked for hire, so to speak?
Mavash Mostly. I know I am an amazing, strong, powerful woman both inside and out.
Telling my real past, my real story, being how I look, there isn't a man in this world who won't run screaming.
These two things contradict one another. If your an amazing, strong, and powerful woman both inside and out.. you wouldn't believe this... "Telling my real past, my real story, being how I look, there isn't a man in this world who won't run screaming."
There isn't a woman in the world who doesn't have some sort of baggage so don't worry about that part. As far as your looks... well if you have seen other women less attractive then yourself... stop being so hard on your own looks. Own the fact that you are good looking and there is a man that will appreciate you for who you are. Hell I don't consider myself to be very attractive either and even though some people on here complimented the ONE pic i put up.. I still have doubts.. but at least .. despite the insecurities.. I do have a man who loves me. He may not be perfect .. but he's perfect for me and you too will find that so don't worry.
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"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~ Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~
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How do I make myself attractive to men? 
