He used to want kids...

Kaycee02 · 07-01-2012, 02:01 PM

My husband and I have been married for 18 months now and been together for almost 6 years. I am 23 and he is 26. Although I am not quite ready for children yet it is something I REALLY want in the future. We both discussed this throughout our relationship and both agreed we one day wanted a family.

Right after we got married he told me he changed his mind. He no longer wants children. Initially I gave him a chance to return to his original desires but after 18 months he is adamant about his want to have no children.

As I don't want children for about 3-4 years, I don't know whether to give him more time or not. He doesn't seem to be changing his mind at all. I also have PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which means I could have troubles conceiving a child and may need more time. I would rather have a partner who I have been with for a while but I don't know when/if I should give up on my husband and look for someone new. I love my husband but have thought long and hard about whether he or having a child is more important to me and have decided I having a child is more important. I have one year left of my primary teaching degree. I love kids and have told him this but he didn't say much and always changes the subject when I bring it up.

DiZ · 07-01-2012, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaycee02

My husband and I have been married for 18 months now and been together for almost 6 years. I am 23 and he is 26. Although I am not quite ready for children yet it is something I REALLY want in the future. We both discussed this throughout our relationship and both agreed we one day wanted a family.

Right after we got married he told me he changed his mind. He no longer wants children. Initially I gave him a chance to return to his original desires but after 18 months he is adamant about his want to have no children.

As I don't want children for about 3-4 years, I don't know whether to give him more time or not. He doesn't seem to be changing his mind at all. I also have PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which means I could have troubles conceiving a child and may need more time. I would rather have a partner who I have been with for a while but I don't know when/if I should give up on my husband and look for someone new. I love my husband but have thought long and hard about whether he or having a child is more important to me and have decided I having a child is more important. I have one year left of my primary teaching degree. I love kids and have told him this but he didn't say much and always changes the subject when I bring it up.

Well this is rough for you. It's not fair either. It's almost like breaking a legal binding contract. You married him thinking he wanted kids and now he does not. This is a very basic important aspect of a marriage, children. I would try and work it out but would leave if he is sticking by not wanting kids. It's terrible on his part to do this to you. I know times are hard, maybe this is one reason he has decided not to have kids but still...you always find a way to afford a child even if you think you cannot. What reasons is he giving you for all of a sudden not wanting children? I am sorry you are going thru this, children are a blessing...