I dont think he wants me anymore!
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I dont think he wants me anymore!

Ok a bit of tmi here but I really need to get this out bc its been bothering me all day.

I know there was a thread posted here in the ladies lounge about men finding their wives sexy or not while in pregnancy. I had THOUGHT mine still did! I am due literally ANY DAY NOW, my due date is July 8. This entire pregnancy he has been still chasing me and wanting sex as much as if not MORE than when I wasnt pregnant. When I got pg I was 106 lbs athletic petite. This is my 5th pregnancy( this is my 1st baby with him though)I always gain a lot in pregnancy. This time I have kept it under 70 lbs gain and thats a good thing, I have gained as much as 90 lbs in the past but I always go lose it all after from nursing and running. Anyway back to the original issue. I have been avoiding having sex with him bc I feel really self conscious. I am 5'1 and Im about 164 now. I have a lot of cellulite dimples now on my backside and honestly, doggy style position is the only way I could if I wanted to have sex now. So its been several weeks since we did it( Ive been masturbating sometimes instead which he porbably does too altho he swears he doesnt) anyway we got romantic this morning in the living room . I was giving him a bj and he kept saying he could cum in a few minutes if we had sex and since I was feeling it too I agreed. Well he got in back of me and I was having a hard time poisitioning myself and then within about one minutes time he said " Its ok, its ok we dont have to if your uncomfortable" And he lost his HARD ON. So I immediately felt terrible I started crying. He said Im not fat that Im pregnant and Im still sexy blah blah blah but the hard on thing doesnt lie and I felt like S*** the rest of the day. I feel completely and terribly emotional that I really grossed him out or something. We have only been married 2 weeks, been together since dec 2010. But ladies, Im feeling so bad about myself right now. Ive been crying on and off all day. What if he doesnt want me like that anymore? What if he goes to cheat or something? Im always feeling inadequate in looks dept even tho Im told Im totally pretty. My issue is Im 36 and our line of work is we own a adult entertainment company. So all the ladies that work for us are under 35 and lets face it, this is the sex business. Its hard for me to have good self esteem, but we do make good money. This business is the reason I lost my ex husband- we split up bc he began an affair with an employee and eventually he went with her and I met my Dh ironically THRU the employee. I dk thats a whole other story. But , my self esteem is wounded right now, worse than normal and I just dont know what to think. Thanks for listening. I had to get it out
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

I have 2 kids, I understand how crazy your body can get. I know it doesnt seem so, but I really think the hormones may be trying to take over your brain. Believe me, he loves your booty and he probably lost his erection because he was worried about hurting the baby. I know everyone knows its safe right up unyil labor begins, but it still SEEMS like it could hurt the kid.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:00 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

I know thats true but hes never stated that worry aloud to me before.However I was complaining of contractions a lot before as well as after the incident. Actually all day its been pressure and contractions, so labor is probably near. Maybe ur right he was just worrying. But still I think I must be gross. I hope its all in my head just the hormones!
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

from a guys pov, if he has been wanting to have sex with you up til now and maybe more as you have said, hes not grossed out by you.
probably seemed like you were very uncomfortable plus the contractions=worried most likely and your hormones are exaggerating things. dont worry about this. i think youre trying to over analyze things.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

your business may have a lot to do with your low self esteem.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

Yes my business probably has a lot to do with my low self esteem, but this guy is not a cheater even if faced w it.. and believe me I know hes had the opportunity bc my ex had the opp w the same ladies. And my h is very honest and loyal when it comes to that stuff, thats mostly why I chose to be with him, bc I did not want to become involved with another cheater and be heartbroken again. The business causes me much misery but theres nothing I can do about it, I wont make the amount of money I do to pay my bills in any other line of work. Ive been doing this 6 years, this is what Im used to and this is what works for me. I will probably run this for another 6 years at least since my expensises are so high even after making my comfortavble income, I only have about 700 a mth to save( to me,700 is NOTHING)
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:42 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

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Originally Posted by fallingagain View Post
even after making my comfortavble income, I only have about 700 a mth to save( to me,700 is NOTHING)
seems like money means the most to you unfortunately.

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And my h is very honest and loyal when it comes to that stuff, thats mostly why I chose to be with him, bc I did not want to become involved with another cheater and be heartbroken again.
do you think any of us thought that when we married or wanted it?
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Old 07-02-2012, 10:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

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I know thats true but hes never stated that worry aloud to me before.However I was complaining of contractions a lot before as well as after the incident. Actually all day its been pressure and contractions, so labor is probably near. Maybe ur right he was just worrying. But still I think I must be gross. I hope its all in my head just the hormones!
If this is the first hard on he lost, it was probably that he was worried about you being uncomfortable, worry is a totaly turnoff for guys, as I have recently come to find out myself, but I understand exactly how you feel, don't blame yourself, it is not your fault. Just like we have moments where something runs thru our minds and we can't finish our orgasm, when something runs thru theirs they cannot finish performing (we can) big difference there.... you are due any day now and many times men do freak a bit right at the end... See how he acts later, I bet he hugs on you like normal and stuff. Don't jump to conclusions based on past relationships. But I am going thru ED with my dh right now (only it's happened a lot very recently so I understand how you feel) but first time, I ignored it, that is what you need to do, first time, no big deal.
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Old 07-02-2012, 10:26 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

worry will kill the mood instantly. don't worry about it. side note: I got lucky when I was in labor and it speeded things up quite nicely.
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Old 07-02-2012, 10:40 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

When we did it in the last few months of my W's pregnancies I kept worrying about hurting her or the baby. Those thoughts probably just consumed your H's brain.
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Old 07-02-2012, 08:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

Thanks for the responses.I casually approached the subj of how I had felt rejected yesterday when he didnt have sex with me, I told my dh the truth this morning when we were riding in the car, that I was upset and teary most of yesterday bc he didnt, that I thoight maybe he wasnt finding me sexy anymore. And he said NO it was bc I was WORRIED that u were truly uncomfortable( bc I had been having contractions on and off before that point) and he said he felt like he was then being unreasonable, asking me to even be sexual at all at a time like this lol So once we talked about it openly, I was able to let go of the bad feelings I was having. Thanks again for responding, everyone!
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Old 07-03-2012, 10:49 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

Wow I didn't want sex for about the last two months of pregnancy because it was so uncomfortable. A lot of guys have issues with feeling like they are going to hurt you or the baby. Plus it could also be literally that things feel different to him and it is weird knowing you might go into labor.
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont think he wants me anymore!

I have been faced with sexual harrasment at my previous job which my husband claims it was my fault. I didn't tell him when it occured that the man grasped my ass. My husband has anger problems. I am very pretty and this has happend to me at other stages in my life, being without him. Now he thinks twice about everything that I do and questions everything, It has come to the point that yelling and pointing out each thing I do wrong, is a daily routine. I have found myself saying sorry for everything that I do or not do. He b@*chs about eveything as to calling him back, you said, I said, why this why that etc.... Now, he feels everything I say and do is a lie. I don't know if this is a sign of my 17 yr marraige ending, but the abuse just goes on and on he doesn't even want my sorry's anymore. I find myself thinking twice of each step that I may make or say. I don't have any friends for he is very controling and abusive. I find myself afraid of what to say to his questions because he reacts to everything by yelling. I have said to myself I would never accept my man to hit me and it has gotten to the point that he has hit me once and even harrased that he will kill me. I hate myself for accepting this. for which he says he love me too much, and I'm the problem always lying. But even though I don't lie anymore and promised, he still thinks that I'm lying. We are the kind of relationship that are always in contact with each other you see me working and on the phone with him in lunch and on the phone with him, no time for friends or hobbies, he doesn't even let me breathe my own air somtimes. I don't know what I should do. Is this an abusive relationship or am I really the problem that doesn't do anything right and always find myself feeling guilty for everything. He says I always have and excuse and never take real responsibility for what I do, and end up doing it again. Now he wants to leave me and I somehow feel releif but sad for about to loose every effort that we have strive to keep things together.

Oh and he also wants to have a threesome.
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