07-05-2012, 02:48 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: please help me with my marriage.
If there is already physical violence, I would recommend separating first and working on the marriage after the safety of all 4 of you is ensured.
You need to give a lot more detail about your lifestyle--does he work nights? Are you working? Is money really tight? Someone sleeping through all their free time is a sign of depression, and that is a serious illness. He absolutely needs to be seen by a medical professional. He may be feeling all sorts of negative things about becoming a dad, esp. of twins, and esp. if money is already tight. Then he withdrew from you, you guys fought, and his depression got worse. Breaking the cycle is very, very difficult.
But again, one of you needs to move in with a parent, sibling, other relative or friend while you start figuring this out; do this first. Medical advice on his mental health is 2nd. Then you can start looking for books to read together (or separately) and start trying to rebuild something meaningful.
You could lose or cause damage to the twins if you are physically assaulting him and he is assaulting you. You could both end up in jail. That's why separating NOW is your first priority.