04-24-2009, 11:17 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | HUSBAND needs Your HELP
my wife and I have been married for 16yrs. and can count on one hand the real fights we've had. I mean fights where only words were exchanged...nothing physical. I've never touched her to harm her and never will.
She was raised in a very abusive home and at times seems to chose harsh forms of discipline for our two daughters (14 and 9).
Whereas, I was raised in a very laid-back and at times overly loving home. She has even admitted to resenting my childhood.
Very simply, when it comes to our children and punishment/discipline, I always opt for punishment. Like my wife, I received spankings and whippings; but nothing like the abuse my wife described receiving. Even small offenses now seem to equate to a pop of my younger daughter from my wife.
About three weeks ago, my 9yr old got a bad grade on a project that she and my wife worked on....my wife refused to listen to my daughter's explanations....instantly labeling it all as excuses. When I went to join in the discussion, my wife told me to "SHUT UP" and that I didn't know enough about the situation to have a comment. When I pressed she cut me off and left the room with the comment, "...and she's going to get a whipping for this!" Which instantly seemed like more a response to my intervention and attempt at offering alternative views on the matter than just, fair and compassionate parental action.
I jumped up before thinking about it and stood between her and the door,pressing the door closed. I kicked a small stepping stool out of the way to do this which shot across the smooth floor and stuck the nearby wall. Even I was shocked by the move..but stood my ground and pleaded with her to listen to what I had to say. I asked her what would she tell my daughter was the reason for this whipping and she replied,"I don't know....will you move?" I responed sternly, "Then this whipping is not going to happen." She asked me again to move and said I never agree with her ways of dealing with them and that it was going to ruin them. I moved and she hasn't spoken a kind word to me since....no lovemaking....no "how are you and how was your day"....nothing.
After a week, I apologized....saying my actions were wrong and that I was sorry and wanted us to get back to normal. She smiled and said OK. Four days later, I made a romantic/sexual
innuendo and was told," I'm not at the point yet?" Nothing has changed since the incident or the apology and it will be a month on Tuesday.
Now I'm angry that she's taking this long to come and talk or adjust her behavior...am I wrong to be expecting this to be getting better? How long should I wait?
Last edited by btt; 04-24-2009 at 11:21 PM.