living with my father-in-law and about to go insane!!!

corbins_mommy19 · 07-30-2012, 12:36 PM

i dont know if anyone has any advive or anything that can help me out but i feel like im going crazy! me and my husband have only been married for a little over a year and are living with his dad. i wouldnt have a problem with that if the man wasnt a 54 year old lonely, creepy, sexist drunk. he is totally obnoxious, rude and disrespectful but expects everyone to kiss his butt and show him respect when he obviously dont deserve it. believe me, i could go on all day with things that he does, has done and ect. I feel like my marriage is falling apart because my husband is caught in the middle. but he even tells me its not because of me, its his dad. when im not around he cries and goes off to my husband about how im not being nice to him or how im not talking to him and my husband is on the verge of a stress induced heart attack because of this. it got so bad one day he broke down into tears and told me maybe its best if we seperate for a little while unless i can somehow get along with his dad.its like im being forced to just because he will throw a little 5 year old temper tantrum and say hes going to move out (we are stuck in a 14 month lease and absolutly cannot pay the rent by ourselves) yes, there is an end in sight but, i really dont know how much more i can handle. everytime the guy opens his mouth to talk i want to hit him. before he moved in with us he still lived with his mother and father (hes 54 and the're 84. he just moved in with us 8 months ago) "mommy" cooked for him, cleaned his messes, bought all the food, did his laundry and practically wiped his butt for him! im at the point where my hair is literally falling out in gobs and im starting to get acne all over my face but still the worst thing being is its ruining my marriage

EleGirl · 07-30-2012, 12:51 PM

Since you put yourself in the position of having to live with this man until the lease is up I suggest that you find a way to alieviate the problems.

You are here complaining so you get to be the person who doesh this.

Don't argue wth your FIL. Only be nice to him. Smile, be happy and mostly ignore him. Look at the 180 in my signature block below. This is how you treat his dad... it includes being civil to the man no matter how much of an a$$ he is.

He may be an a$$ but he's paying half the rent.

corbins_mommy19 · 07-30-2012, 01:04 PM

thats the thing. i didnt want to live with him in the first place. my husband suggested it, i said no, then he said well we dont have a choice so your gonna have to get over it. as far as being civil with him, i do not say one mean or disrespectful thing to him to give him something to yell about. he literally runs to my husband and complains that im not having conversations with him and being buddy-buddy with him AND he knows i dont like him (atleast i think he does, he mentioned it to my husband before) i answer him normally when he asks me something other than that i try my best to stay away from him but he complains about that to! it feels like im trapped

EleGirl · 07-30-2012, 01:09 PM

You said that you cannot afford your place without him. Is he on the lease?

Maybe you get a place you can afford and walk out on the lease.

Why did you get into a lease that you cannot afford?

Your FIL sounds like a big brat. Does he have a job?

CantePe · 07-30-2012, 01:14 PM

Find a different "roommate" to help cover the rent and tell the FIL to go back to his parents. It's either your marriage or your FIL - your choice.

There are ways around this issue...just have to want to make it happen badly enough. Put an add out for a new roommate.

corbins_mommy19 · 07-30-2012, 01:15 PM

mine and my husbands name are on the lease, his is not. it was just a quicky move out cause we were in a very bad living situation with someone else and had to get out of there asap. it wasnt really for us, it was for our 1 year old because we didnt want him around that. at the time of the move in we could afford it cause both of us were working but now my husband has a slipped disk in his back and cant work. my husband also suggested just leaving the place and getting an efficiancy for a lil while im just worried about my credit but im starting to not care. my credit is the only thing stopping me from that option

CantePe · 07-30-2012, 01:16 PM

My mom always had a saying:

"Money and material things come and go. People don't"

corbins_mommy19 · 07-30-2012, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantePe

Find a different "roommate" to help cover the rent and tell the FIL to go back to his parents. It's either your marriage or your FIL - your choice.

There are ways around this issue...just have to want to make it happen badly enough. Put an add out for a new roommate.

i suggested that to my husband but he freaked out and went to the worst case scenerio and started saying well wat if the person brings drugs in here, wat if they do this, wat if they do that. sometimes ijust think about doing it anyway