08-06-2012, 08:36 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
| | Re: unsure what to do.
Given what you have described, it is understandable that you feel like throwing in the towel so at this point, pulling together/working (and it is work) with your husband and counsellor is not going to be easy. I had somewhat similar issues with nearly always having to be the one to initiate getting back on track when my spouse repeatedly gave me the silent treatment.
Sounds like your husband is the “never know what you’ve got till it’s gone” type of personality. Now that your H has finally had his wake up call, he needs to stay awake so to speak. I can well understand you wanting to give up, but if deep down you love your husband, I would say give the counselling a bit more time before you finally make your mind up to call it quits. If he is ready to stay awake, you can both learn from the past and make a life together.
If you eventually decide to stay together and work things out, make sure he is crystal clear that you are not prepared to be the only one who initiates trying to resolve things. He needs to be aware of this as, for sure, petty issues will still arise in your relationship. They just need to be handled differently. Last but not least, he needs to understand, in no uncertain terms, that you will not tolerate his verbal abuse either.